Board index › General Discussion › General Autism Discussion

Are you really an Aspie?

Page 2 of 3 [ 38 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

If you don't mention that you're an Aspie do people realise?
Yes 44%  44%  [ 18 ]
No 56%  56%  [ 23 ]
Total votes : 41

AspieUtah
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jun 2014
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,118
Location: Brigham City, Utah

05 Jun 2015, 4:37 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I don't believe people realize that I have Asperger's/Autism because they, usually, have only a vague idea about it.

People usually think I'm "weird," though.

Negatively at first

then, once they get to know me.

in a positive sense.

Weird Pride! Let's get some government funding for a parade!

Yeah, my experiences have been half-and-half. I guess that means I can mask well for people who don't know me well (like my nurse practitioner and my massage therapist; they were surprised), but my masking doesn't convince people who know me better (family and long-term friends).


_________________
Diagnosed in 2015 with ASD Level 1 by the University of Utah Health Care Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinic using the ADOS-2 Module 4 assessment instrument [11/30] -- Screened in 2014 with ASD by using the University of Cambridge Autism Research Centre AQ (Adult) [43/50]; EQ-60 for adults [11/80]; FQ [43/135]; SQ (Adult) [130/150] self-reported screening inventories -- Assessed since 1978 with an estimated IQ [≈145] by several clinicians -- Contact on WrongPlanet.net by private message (PM)


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

05 Jun 2015, 4:41 pm

My mother believes I have a "touch" of Asperger's. She doesn't believe I have autism at all. She's a psychotherapist with an MSW.



HighLlama
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2015
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,017

05 Jun 2015, 4:49 pm

rarebit wrote:
When I work in say a factory, I'm labelled as a smart one, intelligent, know it all, etc, however if I go to a university bar I fit in quite well, also if I go to dinner at a "posh" persons house then we tend to get on.

In my experience people judge me not on an Aspie scale, but on a scale of intelligence or do I speak like I know what I'm on about. The other thing is if we have things in common, if I don't talk (can't in fact) about sport then I'm outcast in those groups, but if I'm in a group who are talking about maths and there's a football fanatic then its the sports fan who is outcast.

I live in a rough area full of young gangsta wannabes, many of whom are probably undiagnosed Aspies. Thing is they'll try to put down everyone and not just those they see as possible Aspies. Quite a few of the gangs do actually have Aspie leaders with ADHD, these bounce around with only 1 in 10 comments making sense, but since none of them generally make sense no one notices and they are happy someone else is making conversation.

I was sent to a residential place last year, there was this one Aspie, he was confident in what he knew, fanatical about what interested him, his only problems really were he believed he was different, he questioned the things he said himself in groups (asking for validation rather than stating it like he owned it), when we parted the only advice I had for him was to walk with more confidence, because unless he told you (by asking for validation) then you didn't really know.

Also with him, similar to me he covered his baby faced features with a moustache, me with stubble.


rarebit,

have you always found it easy to fake fitting in enough that people simply think you're a little "off" or "weird" (or better, as it sounds like from your experience)? I ask because I'm seeing a therapist now because of Aspie-like traits in myself. I see them also in my father, but I spent more time with my mother, so I think that has led me to developing superficial social skills since I was really raised to please her and my grandmother. It sounds like you've had a healthier social experience, but I wondered if you've ever felt trapped in this sort of social persona that never really feels like you at all, even though you're not really trying to mislead others. I hope that makes sense. My therapist sees definite traits in me, but is a little surprised at my social abilities and the fact that I work in the human services field and have to deal with people. I find people interesting, I just have a hard time being social and genuinely reading social cues, I was just raised to put my own happiness aside for others, unfortunately. So to me it makes some sense. I don't know if people here can relate to that at all.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

05 Jun 2015, 4:50 pm

Sorry for answering instead of Rarebit.

That fits my life pretty much to a "T."



HighLlama
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2015
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,017

05 Jun 2015, 4:53 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Sorry for answering instead of Rarebit.

That fits my life pretty much to a "T."


Thank you! Sometimes I feel like I'm going insane. I don't want to presume a diagnosis I don't have yet, but I often feel like I can "feel" these traits way more than people see them, though I've often been called out for being "weird" as others have described here. Maybe this is just part of this specific self-discovery process, but it is very confusing. And it is a relief to see others who feel the same way, since it is hard to know what to think or how to view myself sometimes.



Blender
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2014
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 17

05 Jun 2015, 5:02 pm

The NT's may not know what Asperger's Syndrome is, but they know that we are different from them. Even those of us that seem to get by in the NT world. They may not be able to quite put their finger on what it is, but they know that something is different. They may call us eccentric, odd, or weird.



rarebit
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 23 May 2015
Posts: 273

05 Jun 2015, 5:16 pm

HighLlama wrote:
rarebit,

have you always found it easy to fake fitting in enough that people simply think you're a little "off" or "weird" (or better, as it sounds like from your experience)? I ask because I'm seeing a therapist now because of Aspie-like traits in myself. I see them also in my father, but I spent more time with my mother, so I think that has led me to developing superficial social skills since I was really raised to please her and my grandmother. It sounds like you've had a healthier social experience, but I wondered if you've ever felt trapped in this sort of social persona that never really feels like you at all, even though you're not really trying to mislead others. I hope that makes sense. My therapist sees definite traits in me, but is a little surprised at my social abilities and the fact that I work in the human services field and have to deal with people. I find people interesting, I just have a hard time being social and genuinely reading social cues, I was just raised to put my own happiness aside for others, unfortunately. So to me it makes some sense. I don't know if people here can relate to that at all.


Its never come naturally, I've had to work at it. However I've always had an interest in psychology and like social testing. Whether I read social cues correctly or just comeback with something outrageous that gets me a pass, who knows!

Dare I say my M+D situation sounds similar, also older sisters either "took care of me" or dropped me on my toes! Saying no, being negative or reclusing simply wasn't an option!

Then mid teens I went off the rails after falling in with a bad crowd, ended up homeless at 15 but who cared 'cos I was wasted for the next 10 years or so. After getting in trouble with the law I was steered towards going to university. Also having always been an artist my reclusions weren't so obvious, and when in clubs I'd spend a lot of time stood on my own, but people always ended up coming to talk, even though I was always trying to get away I was also very polite so I kept on getting away with it.



rarebit
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 23 May 2015
Posts: 273

05 Jun 2015, 5:17 pm

Blender wrote:
The NT's may not know what Asperger's Syndrome is, but they know that we are different from them. Even those of us that seem to get by in the NT world. They may not be able to quite put their finger on what it is, but they know that something is different. They may call us eccentric, odd, or weird.


And what do we call them!?

Are you a Blender user?



screen_name
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Oct 2013
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,315

05 Jun 2015, 6:28 pm

I voted yes.

I'm certain if I was born 20 years later, I would have been diagnosed with classic autism instead of Aspergers and Mixed Expressive Receptive Language Disorder. I have always had a language disorder diagnosis of some sort, but Aspergers came when I was 30.

I voted yes, primarily because people notice right away something is "wrong" with me, usually from my speech.

For my AS son, no, people don't generally notice unless you tell them. I've only had one person ever to have noticed right off the bat (and she thought he was autistic).


_________________
So you know who just said that:
I am female, I am married
I have two children (one AS and one NT)
I have been diagnosed with Aspergers and MERLD
I have significant chronic medical conditions as well


Logston
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 8 Apr 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 353
Location: OH

05 Jun 2015, 10:49 pm

People notice that I'm a bit odd and are usually quite forward in telling me that I'm socially awkward/make them uncomfortable. But even then, I don't think anybody has ever really connected the two when it comes to me?



Who_Am_I
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,632
Location: Australia

06 Jun 2015, 5:33 am

Most people I know don't even know what AS is. They notice that something is different about me, though.
The people I know who know about autism usually pick up on my AS.


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


nerdygirl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,645
Location: In the land of abstractions and ideas.

06 Jun 2015, 5:57 am

People who do not know much about autism would not know I am an Aspie. People who do can see that I have traits.

However, people notice that I am different, but do not say anything to me. They just kind-of ignore me and leave me out of conversation. When I was younger I got the "you're weird" comments. But adults usually refrain from that. Instead, they more passively reject me, for unknown reasons.

I did stop by a booth on special needs learning at a homeschool conference, and the woman there just about immediately asked if I am an Aspie.



Halfmadgenius
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Oct 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 666

06 Jun 2015, 11:11 am

They probably don't know I am an Aspie because they aren't doctors, but they do know I'm different. It was worse when I was young, I can blend in better now.



iliketrees
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Mar 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,155
Location: Earth

06 Jun 2015, 11:23 am

Consider how some people, other than those who know me well, speak to me, I'd say they think my IQ is in the negatives :? The way people speak to babies/toddlers is how they speak to me. I only notice it afterwards, though.



gamerdad
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jul 2014
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 288

06 Jun 2015, 12:13 pm

I think people probably read me as unusually introverted, but otherwise NT. My wife is the only person who has ever suggested I might be on the spectrum (prior to my diagnosis).



KaylamiYarne
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 8 May 2015
Posts: 204

06 Jun 2015, 12:20 pm

iliketrees wrote:
Consider how some people, other than those who know me well, speak to me, I'd say they think my IQ is in the negatives :? The way people speak to babies/toddlers is how they speak to me. I only notice it afterwards, though.


That's annoying :| This happened to me just recently; I was at a meeting with my father and the client's son was with his fiance (and they were both my age), and when I went up to say hi to them he looked at me as if I were a child and said "Say hi!" and waved, as if I didn't know how? It was really strange. I avoided them for the rest of the meeting lol