Can you read body language?

Post Reply New Topic

I'm trying to determine whether I'm on the autism spectrum or not. I certainly seem to fit a lot of the criteria, bit I'd say I'm definitely high functioning.

In particular, I'm curious about body language. It's something I have to consciously look for, but I am able to read it. If someone keeps their distance and is turned away from me, for example, then I find it's safe to assume I've made them uncomfortable. If the opposite, then they clearly like me. (or at least don't dislike me)

Has anyone else here managed to learn how to take advantage of body language like this?

You say body language is something you have to conciously look for, which suggests that it's something that doesn't come as naturally to you as it does with most people.
People on the "spectrum" seem to vary a lot in their ability to read things like body language, some are hopeless at it others can be quite good at it. I'm good with it for the most part but get confused by some of the more complex types. For example, in the past, whenever girls tried flirting with me, I was always oblivious to it, until several days later when I'd suddenly realise what was happening or when someone explained it to me. I'm also very easily fooled when someone tries to hide what they are really thinking or feeling through fake smiles etc.

I'm sort of in the middle. Sometimes it's fine, and other times I miss things.

I can read some body language. For instance, when a chap is holding his fist up and his veins look like they're about to burst, that's typically a sign that he grows weary of our conversation. Other than that I don't recognize many signs though.

I taught myself better knowledge of it from books.

When I was about 11 or 12 years old, I got really interested in psychology and body language -- I can't even remember how or why this would be something I started getting into. All I knew was that I KNEW I was awkward around people in a way that I strongly suspected they didn't seem to be with each other. I started getting books out of the library that had anything to do with psychology, human behavior, how to get along with people, even those very old Norman Vincent Peale and Dale Carnegie books.

It was almost a special interest I guess; I soaked up anything I could find about how people tick, how people behave and why. I was very young for such an interest but it's a true story.

I started to be able to notice body language and realize what the meaning was, in others as well as myself, and to produce the "correct" body language in different situations.

I also gradually got better at reading people's facial expressions, and now I'm almost "psychic" at knowing the mood of a person, the vibe in the room, etc --- but my big problem I'm still left with is, I often can't put it together as to WHY that person or group of people are being like that, or if there's a shift why that shift happened.

If I'm talking to someone and I see that their expression has changed and there's something wrong, I know there's something wrong now but I never am able to connect it instantly to whatever I just said or did to change their mood or reaction, or to any other factor that may have changed it. There's a lack of connecting the dots.

It's only if I keep going over events later that sometimes the penny drops "Ohhhhhhh......her face went angry right after I said THAT thing I said, forgetting that her uncle just died......."

It can take hours or days for me to figure it out intellectually.

It's a relief to know I'm not the only who does that, yeah! I figure things out very late when the damage has already been done and the person has now permanently misunderstood my intention.

There are times with me when a straight-up argument or falling-out with a person is one thing, but it's when I think everything's going well -- but then realize it's not -- that it's really upsetting to be this bad at not seeing things the moment they happen.

No, and I'm told others cannot read me either.

I can read basic body language - like, I can see if somebody is annoyed or angry, happy or bored, but I can't differentiate between related feelings. I can read if it's a strong or weak emotion (angry vs. just annoyed) and if it's a positive or negative emotion. The problem is just that I very rarely actually look for the subtler emotions - it has to be really obvious for me to notice.

I usually do reasonable well in the various tests for this (because here I'm focused on it ), but this is more because a) the images are often caricatures and b) there are usually four answers that you have to choose between, and the options are always very different, making it pretty easy to deduce what the right answer is.

I can read body language, facial expressions and tone of voice without having to consciously look for it. I just notice it.

Even as a child, looking back, I didn't do too badly reading body language either. I knew most kids didn't want me hanging out with them, but I clung on to them anyway because I hated being alone. I could read the non-verbal signs that I wasn't wanted, and it did hurt, but I was ashamed of being lonely so I had to ignore the signals and tag along.

But just because an Aspie is able to read body language, doesn't mean they are able to make friends that easily. Unfortunately.