I'm sure you get a lot of this, but... could I be an Aspie?

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Wow, that was fast :p What's the deal with your speech patterns, btw?

She said my prosody doesn't vary, that I say every word with the same emphasis or inflection (or lack thereof). My mom disagrees, and I never noticed, but, if that's the worst I do...

Just heard that my grandfather's fine

That's great, hope he feels better. And welcome to the "official" club. Speech patterns... everyone said my accent was funny when I spoke Spanish, which I thought was odd considering that none of them could remember enough words at one time to even string together a coherent sentence.
But while we're on the subject of the diagnostic criteria, it seems to me as though they are very values-based. For instance, DSM-IV criteria rely on designating some irrational behaviors (ie handshaking) as normal but another (preferring to sit in a particular spot at a restaraunt table) as abnormal. What is the distinction? Simply the prevalence of one behavior or the other? And also the reference to a lack of emotion, or an inability to express emotion normally. Emotions are still experienced, just not always expressed in the same way as with NTs. So why is our way somehow defective? And the tendency to form intense interests... why is that considered abnormal, rather than a virtue? Most fields would never have advanced without people who were extremely obsessed with them. Not to say that all intellectual pioneers were Aspies, but they all had very intense interests. So what exactly on the DSM-IV list isn't a subjective values-based judgment? I guess you could say the social interaction parts of it, but many of us simply prefer not to be around people all the time. Is that so terribly wrong, to spend a little time in solitude?

I'm glad to hear your grandfather is fine. I was wondering about that, and THOUGHT the monotone speech was simply a lack of emotion/emphasis. That cinches it. And HEY, I have caught myself with the same problem. How about that, I guess I AM monotone sometimes also. I don't remember how involved it was, but I did conciously get into the habit of modulating my voice. Sometimes it seems I just don't.