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username88
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06 Sep 2007, 7:18 pm

Im older now, still living with them and I feel like they still dont know me. Im not completely downtalking them I suppose cause I have to give them credit for being much better than they used to be. Anyway I was diagnosed with AS years ago and they supposidly understand yadda yadda but they still expect me to be some kind of flawless NT or something, its so frustrating. I think its because they dont want to admit that I have the problems that I do, I dunno. I know I wouldnt be so stressed out my whole life if I wasnt living with them anymore. All they do is add to my emotional distress and enviromental discomfort. The "getting better" phaze for them is going downhill (especially my mom), and Im so afraid of it going back to the way it used to be but I feel so stuck. I have no one and nowhere to go, and pretty much nothing to do due to lack of motivation from depression. When I go for my job assessment appointments I usually feel a lot better cause my assesser understands me really well but I dont get them enough to make that much of a difference. It all just puts my brain on overload and when it gets really bad it puts me on the vurge of having a mental breakdown. Everything from my past which I thought was healed brakes open sometimes too and thats when I just cant handle it. The people in my life dont realize how insane the chaos is that goes on in my head, I cant live like this.. I just wish I could relax.



Age1600
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06 Sep 2007, 7:32 pm

I know exactly how you feel, no matter how much I explain to my mother about autism and she does try but sometimes it just seems like she doesn't care. She yells at me sometimes for things I don't think is wrong, or I can't help. My father would be so horrible with me, like I sometimes giggle uncontrollably, and he would yell at me and I would get so upset, because I wasn't doing anything wrong, he would say why can't you just grow up or be normal, or I might be dancing around and he would yell at me to go do something people my age do, it tore me apart like crazy! I end up getting so angry and frustrated and don't know what else to do!



username88
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06 Sep 2007, 7:40 pm

Its nice to know theres someone I can relate to here :)



richardbenson
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06 Sep 2007, 7:43 pm

no. my mom still tells me to take a joke and stop being so serious all the time, i just cant wait until the lease is up. i'm moving far away and probably will just disapear :D


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Age1600
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06 Sep 2007, 7:51 pm

username88 wrote:
Its nice to know theres someone I can relate to here :)


haha same here!



Ana54
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06 Sep 2007, 7:57 pm

My mom used to think I was this real neurological-disability, pathetic kind of person... now she's way better. :) My dad used to think I was a stupid, lazy, dysfunctional person with a screw loose, but when I told him I saw a shrink and started taking antidepressants he seemed relieved that it was depression that was my problem, though he would never say so, of course. :)



TheBladeRoden
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06 Sep 2007, 8:07 pm

Yeah, it gets annoying living with parents, especially after you've had a taste of living on your own. :? One day, Roden. One day...


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samizat
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06 Sep 2007, 8:14 pm

My parents disowned me. I grew up in the home of two very good friends and I consider them my family now. I am now thirty and engaged, so my current frustration is that my boyfriend/fiancee rarely gets me. Despite a lot of joint counseling sessions and so forth. I'm not sure what if anything can be done about that one.

But he does at least try, so...

That's one reason I love this page, lots of people who do get me...and that makes me less lonely.



siuan
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06 Sep 2007, 8:28 pm

I can't relate to the being at home thing because my parents were such a detriment I left at 16 and I've improved mentally every day since. My AS is mild but it still doesn't make things easy. In addition to AS I had a childhood that would have destroyed mkost NTs. Something I learned is that, ultimately, it doesn't matter if the rents "get me". I had to accept that they never will, and be okay with that. Other ppl do get you, and that has to be your focus. It's all in accepting.


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Paula
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06 Sep 2007, 8:30 pm

I'm NT and my parents never got me. Sooooo ya know, what can one do. I frustrated my mom the most because we are so much alike. The only difference is, what I view as a weakness in us she views as a strength, what I view as a strength in us she views as a weakness. So no...I was not one of her favorites, or maybe, I was just the safest to yell at? We get along very well now, but I don't live at home either. I'm glad we get along....she's very likeable...well, why not, she's just like me??? But she'll never admitt it. Thats ok I'm at a peace at who I am, I just wish she was.



TheMidnightJudge
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06 Sep 2007, 8:52 pm

My are usually good, but of course they can't always understand. They are very open to that they have misunderstood.
In the past I have actually used that for my own benefit!
I love my parents.



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06 Sep 2007, 9:58 pm

it's even harder for them to understand when they dont know anything about psychology and suffer personality disorders lke my dad that has narcissistic personality disorder and it's because i read about disorders and i found him there(not exagerationg, he has all the symptoms), the same with asperger's and me.... i dont if know getting "officially diagnosed" will change things, maybe for them it would only mean that I need to get better and they dont have to do anything(in their mind)....they have to change and see me different, i can help myself.
i need some motivation, with narcissists you get the opposite.

it is so different the way they think, few NTs can know how to deal with AS people and those are the ones who know what AS is, my parents(although i showed them about AS and they looked at me with glossy eyes) are not one of them.



also, NTs think people with mental problems are those kids that go crazy and hit themselves, the rest is "normal" BUT some with issues, ignorance causes them to not know what neurological disorders are.


my next attemp is to show them about psychology and i will attack them by their interests, so they can probably learn.



WatcherAzazel
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06 Sep 2007, 10:38 pm

I think my Dad's an Aspie, so in his own way I think he gets me. The problem is, he almost expects me to take his solution (withdrawing into your family) as my way of coping. I've gone the opposite route, making friends and trying to form external connections, and he's jealous since he feels like he's losing me.

I don't think my Mom's an Aspie, but she's learned to think like one after years with my dad, so she's kind of the same.



Brittany2907
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06 Sep 2007, 10:59 pm

I don't see my father. But my mother does not really "get" me as much as I would like her to.
She is very sarcastic when talking to me which confuses me.


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07 Sep 2007, 5:50 am

Mine get me. My mother tried really hard getting me when I was growing up but then in my teens I felt she didn't get me because she get mad at me about my anxiety. Sometimes she makes things sound so simple not even realizing it's harder for like the time she told me think before you say something, think before you do something like think would this embarrase my family if i did this. She acts like it be so easy for me but its not. It may be easy for her and everyone else but for me it's harder because they don't think like me and I don't know what their motive is going to be.



myeyesseekreality
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07 Sep 2007, 8:52 am

My family is unusual. We have generations of people with autistic traits from mild to mid range. I was raised by my mom, and grandma. My grandma used to be terrible to my mom about her rocking, and hand flapping. My mom reads people, and I think she has very mild undiagnosed Asperger's. She knew from the day I was born I was different, but she thought nothing of it. It was everyone else. My mom doesn't get me. My grandma was the first to make me feel like I couldn't be me. so I started hiding stimming at 3, or 4. My brother was the only one who saw me rock as a child. I've been treated like crap by all the NT's in my family, and shown love by the ones who have autistic traits. My family is one of those that my cousins are like siblings, and my Aunt, and Uncle are like another set of parents. They've never understood me. Always making comments on things I can't help, and treating me like a pariah, and or a ret*d. My mom has been the most understanding, but she still has the samew NT standards, and has been wierd since my diagnosis. They've been even wierder since I stopped hidding who I am. Why the hell should we hide who we are so we can have an identity crisis, and be miserable.