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Neighbors and our landlords REFUSE to help us out!! ! Why?

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Mikurotoro92
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20 Dec 2025, 11:25 pm

As for the apartment complex we were going to move to before Cathy changed her mind, that can still happen once I get married and we would just have to restart the application process!! !

She CANNOT interfere at that point!



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21 Dec 2025, 7:54 am

How's the pregnancy going? Congratulations by the way.


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kokopelli
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21 Dec 2025, 8:31 am

I'm much too kind to take anyone to Burger King.



Nades
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21 Dec 2025, 8:58 am

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
As for the apartment complex we were going to move to before Cathy changed her mind, that can still happen once I get married and we would just have to restart the application process!! !

She CANNOT interfere at that point!


Are you dependant on Cathy to sort the application out though?



Mikurotoro92
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21 Dec 2025, 11:06 am

Nades wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
As for the apartment complex we were going to move to before Cathy changed her mind, that can still happen once I get married and we would just have to restart the application process!! !

She CANNOT interfere at that point!


Are you dependant on Cathy to sort the application out though?


Only when I am her actual client

The point I was trying to make is once I'm officially married, I will no longer have Cathy!! !

Meaning that David and I will be free to make our own choices including moving into an apartment!



Nades
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21 Dec 2025, 12:52 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
Nades wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
As for the apartment complex we were going to move to before Cathy changed her mind, that can still happen once I get married and we would just have to restart the application process!! !

She CANNOT interfere at that point!


Are you dependant on Cathy to sort the application out though?


Only when I am her actual client

The point I was trying to make is once I'm officially married, I will no longer have Cathy!! !

Meaning that David and I will be free to make our own choices including moving into an apartment!


Are you able to do this without any help whatsoever though?



Mikurotoro92
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21 Dec 2025, 1:01 pm

Nades wrote:
Are you able to do this without any help whatsoever though?


Well...maybe not BUT David's sister would help us negotiate the terms with the apartment complex I think?



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22 Dec 2025, 1:51 am

Your landlord owes you NO favors like picking up meals and other miscellaneous favors. He's your landlord, not a paid personal assistant. The only thing he owes you is a safe place to live and prompt repairs of anything that breaks down like a window lock, screen, the dishwasher, laundry machine, etc. He's not discriminating against you. He/she just doesn't want to be an unpaid personal assistant to you.



Elgee
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22 Dec 2025, 1:57 am

Canadian Freedom Lover wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
This isn't going to be an issue for much longer because we are MOVING VERY SOON!! ! ! ! !

So no more landlords! ! !


How does moving equate to no longer having landlords? Are you moving in with family?


Well....maybe they bought a condo?



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22 Dec 2025, 2:06 am

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
I wonder if Cathy can legally stop me from getting married?!?


Holy crap ... do you have a condition or diagnosis other than autism? Because if someone has normal cognitive functioning (IQ) but is also autistic, they wouldn't be so dependent on someone as to feel imprisoned, not have their own voice, and lack basic knowledge, such as, some agency provider such as "Cathy" can NOT stop you from getting married. Do you NOT know that as long as you're of legal age, ANYONE can get married???? Why can't you up and leave? Sounds like staying temporarily in a mission would be better than your current situation. Can you not make phone calls and apply to live with a different provider?

That you think the only way to get away from your situation is to get married is very telling of your abilities. Has it been established that you DO need what you think is too much support? And how does Cathy stop you from buying things? Is she holding you against a wall? And why are the consequences of "disobeying" her "risky"? What might she do, beat you up?

If she's abusive, you need to report her. If you want to get married, you need to grow up. And if you marry a man just so you can get away from landlords, that would be USING him for your own gain instead of marrying out of love.

You need to get it together, girl. I'm autistic too, so I get the autism experience, but there's something you're not telling us.



Mikurotoro92
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22 Dec 2025, 3:54 am

Elgee wrote:
Holy crap ... do you have a condition or diagnosis other than autism? Because if someone has normal cognitive functioning (IQ) but is also autistic, they wouldn't be so dependent on someone as to feel imprisoned, not have their own voice, and lack basic knowledge, such as, some agency provider such as "Cathy" can NOT stop you from getting married. Do you NOT know that as long as you're of legal age, ANYONE can get married???? Why can't you up and leave? Sounds like staying temporarily in a mission would be better than your current situation. Can you not make phone calls and apply to live with a different provider?

That you think the only way to get away from your situation is to get married is very telling of your abilities. Has it been established that you DO need what you think is too much support? And how does Cathy stop you from buying things? Is she holding you against a wall? And why are the consequences of "disobeying" her "risky"? What might she do, beat you up?

If she's abusive, you need to report her. If you want to get married, you need to grow up. And if you marry a man just so you can get away from landlords, that would be USING him for your own gain instead of marrying out of love.

You need to get it together, girl. I'm autistic too, so I get the autism experience, but there's something you're not telling us.


I will admit that Cathy IS problematic but I really do love David and wish to spend my life with him!! !

That means I want to get married even at the expense of my brother!

Escaping imprisonment is part of what is driving my desire for marriage though...



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22 Dec 2025, 5:21 am

I've known most of my neighbors or their parents since i was a little kid.

I would do just about anything to help them out, but that does not include driving them to Burger King.



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22 Dec 2025, 6:21 am

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
Nades wrote:
Are you able to do this without any help whatsoever though?


Well...maybe not BUT David's sister would help us negotiate the terms with the apartment complex I think?


As elgee said, though most people would find your level of support stifling, perhaps it was deemed necessary? It seems to me that as much as you dislike Cathy, you depend on her/others for everything, from housing right the way down to food shopping and ordering a taxi.

If you want to tone down this level of support, start working from the bottom up. Ordering a taxi is dead easy as you wouldn't be confined to only leaving your house on Saturdays, to give an example.

You want to live an independent life, but you seem unable to grasp just how huge the steps you need to take are, while also not even making small steps via your own initiative. Living a landlord free life with a car of your own truly is a mountain to climb even for a lot of NT's

I think marrying David wouldn't help at all too. It sounds like David is in the same situation as you. You need to be aware that you met David at a day program, which is intended for people who need significant support.



Mikurotoro92
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22 Dec 2025, 12:19 pm

Nades wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
Nades wrote:
Are you able to do this without any help whatsoever though?


Well...maybe not BUT David's sister would help us negotiate the terms with the apartment complex I think?


As elgee said, though most people would find your level of support stifling, perhaps it was deemed necessary? It seems to me that as much as you dislike Cathy, you depend on her/others for everything, from housing right the way down to food shopping and ordering a taxi.

If you want to tone down this level of support, start working from the bottom up. Ordering a taxi is dead easy as you wouldn't be confined to only leaving your house on Saturdays, to give an example.

You want to live an independent life, but you seem unable to grasp just how huge the steps you need to take are, while also not even making small steps via your own initiative. Living a landlord free life with a car of your own truly is a mountain to climb even for a lot of NT's

I think marrying David wouldn't help at all too. It sounds like David is in the same situation as you. You need to be aware that you met David at a day program, which is intended for people who need significant support.


Getting married AND learning how to drive will result in the elimination of Cathy though!! !

That's the point of all of this!

However, I do agree about starting from the bottom towards independance although...isn't marriage the exact OPPOSITE of independance?

If I start from the bottom and work my way up that means a job first



BTDT
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22 Dec 2025, 1:09 pm

I've known "normal" couples that needed a lot of help, usually from parents, when moving out to their first home on their own.



Nades
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22 Dec 2025, 1:34 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:

Getting married AND learning how to drive will result in the elimination of Cathy though!! !

That's the point of all of this!

However, I do agree about starting from the bottom towards independance although...isn't marriage the exact OPPOSITE of independance?

If I start from the bottom and work my way up that means a job first


Getting married will make no difference, but learning to drive will stop Cathy from controlling your transport needs.

It should be said though, if you currently need her to to arrange Uber lifts, actuslly learning to drive is going to be a rather jarring experience for you with a huge jump in difficulty.