Did I do the right thing?

Post Reply New Topic

Today I was walking along a quiet street with my counsellor (who comes out to meet me) and at a very sharp corner two 12 or 13-year-old boys came whizzing past on bikes, shouting at the top of their voices and showing off, and I went behind my counsellor because (like always) they were passing on my side. My counsellor said that I shouldn't have gone behind, that I should have just stayed walking where I was because I had the right to be walking on the path and these boys shouldn't of been whizzing round corners on narrow paths on bikes. I said, ''but what if they rode right into me? One of us could have got hurt'', but she said that they would have used their brakes. But I still think that I went behind her from natural instinct to let the boys pass, not because I was scared, but because I didn't want to get in their way, and also I know teenage boys, if I didn't move they'll probably just stop in front of me and scream something in my face, making me feel startled and humiliated.

Do you think I did the right thing, or was the counsellor right? Should I have just been assertive and carried on walking where I was? Part of me thinks I'd look silly if I carried on walking and being at risk of them crashing right into me, because it was a sharp corner and I didn't want any accidents. What do you think?

You were correct, Fact is a 12 or 13 year old has no ability to recognize danger like we do - they assume we will move. Not only that but what if they fell off their bike onto the pavement and were struck by a car?

Regardless of what a counselor says I would have taken the same action as you. Their motives and "right / wrong" do NOT factor into this situation.

Well also it was from natural instinct. That goes to show that I instinctively am aware of health and safety and proves that I am streetwise, therefore I have the natural ability to move aside if there are people coming the other way, whether they're on bikes or not. It's just what I was always taught growing up.

I think you were right. Plus what were they doing riding on the sidewalk? Bicyclist here aren't allowed to ride on sidewalks. I guess that rule doesn't apply to kids perhaps? But then drivers get annoyed with bicyclists on the road so they can't really win.

Perhaps we are both wrong then, but I have the exact same instincts and was raised the same. Keen awareness... it had to happen because otherwise I'd just get preoccupied and walk in front of a bus. So I went from one end of the spectrum to another when I am in public.

It sounds like you did the right thing and also it sounds to me like people should be required to have a license before they can ride their bikes in public and kids should be at a certain age before being allowed to do it. This would probably prevent a lot of near accidents like the one you described. If they ride their bikes like idiots, then it becomes illegal for them to ride bikes in public, it is simple as that.

If we made laws to stop idiots from being idiots 98% of humans would not be allowed to leave their homes or open their mouths. Unfortunately being ridiculous is inherent in all humans.

Well I think they were just coming from the skate park, where kids gather with their bikes and skateboards, and their homes were probably nearby and so didn't think to come off their bikes and wheel them home. Admittedly I used to ride on the pavements as a kid because I was too young to know the highway code and ride on the roads, especially where there are bends. But I was always taught to be careful when riding round corners because of the risk of knocking people over, which can easily happen, which is why I am so cautious and hate to cause accidents. Remember, these days, kids win all the time.

I think when a bike is coming towards you, stepping out of it's way is a pretty sensible thing to do.

a bully or rogue might have stood there and not given side to the boys
maybe we aspies are sensitive and we give side easily
a NT might have replied differently to this thread.

That's what I thought.



Actually I've never actually seen anyone carry on walking like there's no-one else in the world when people came towards them on bikes on the same pavement. I've always seen people automatically move to the side or even quickly jump to the side. But I must admit, I am sensitive, I don't really like kids yelling in my face and making me feel intimidated or awkward, because I sort of knew that was what they were going to do if I didn't move out of their way, being so they were already shouting and showing off as they approached. Also I didn't want to cause a barny in the middle of the street, all I thought was, ''oh, there are 2 boys coming on bikes round this sharp bend, they shouldn't really be riding on the path but there's nothing I can really do, so I am just going to get out of their way''.

Last edited by Joe90 on 23 Aug 2012, 10:38 am, edited 2 times in total.

The "right thing"? Hehe, that's a bit of a strong wording for that. There's nothing immoral about either wanting to claim the path for yourself or let a couple of cyclists pass. You used your best judgment with the intention of sharing the sidewalk; therefore what you did was just fine. Personally, I would have done the same. I ride my bike about as much as I walk, and when the road is too dangerous I'll use a sidewalk. I appreciate it when pedestrians move to one side of the path so I can use the other side to pass them.

Blocking the entire walkway so that no one can pass you has always struck me as a little rude, anyway.

Maybe your counselor was trying to teach you how to stand up for yourself more? If that's something you need to learn, maybe the counselor was trying to give you an example of a situation where it would be okay to do that. It wouldn't have been horrible of you to insist on using the sidewalk; sidewalks are there for pedestrians, and bicycles should really be in the street, at least when it's safe to be there. A lot of the time when I ride my bike, I have to slow down to a walking pace because the sidewalk is crowded and I can't safely pass anybody. That's as it should be: If I can't safely share the sidewalk with pedestrians, I shouldn't be taking that route. I should be on a less-traveled path instead, or in the road, where the people in cars are supposed to be carefully passing me. If I had my way about it, there would be bike lanes everywhere; but there aren't, so the best we can do is keep a lookout for each other and be polite about sharing space.

This.

Actually, the reason why she has sessions with me out in public is so she can help work on different situations with me, and building my confidence when situations that make me anxious arise, so you hit the nail right on the head there . But the way she commented on what I did in this situation has left me confused as to what most people would have done. I don't really want to be too assertive in unexpected situations like that, I was just getting out of the way quickly to avoid any accidents, since accidents can happen so quickly and easily, whether they are mild or severe, it's still an accident that would rather be avoided.

It is illegal here in England too, but sadly there are so many law breakers and selfish people out there. They just do not follow the rules. I have a very strong sense of justice, and have on many occasions I've said loudly to cyclists coming past me on the pavement that they are breaking the law. There aren't enough police to go round, so policing these morons is impossible. I believe no child should be allowed out on their bike without having taken a safety course and road sense, and that until they are old enough to be on the roads amonst the traffic they should be restricted to places like parks. It would also be a good idea to have a licence to ride a bike on public roads.

Last edited by whirlingmind on 23 Aug 2012, 4:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I also once was within a hair's breadth of having a potentially fatal collision with an illegal cyclist on the pavement. I was waiting for a bus on the pavement adjacent to a bus shelter. I stepped forward to look if the bus was coming, and a cyclist who must have been doing 50mph and was coming noiselessly from the opposite direction that I was looking almost crashed into me. No guesses as to who would have come off worst, and I wasn't the one who shouldn't have been there.