Very little desire to socialise.

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It is often said that people with Asperger's "want to socialise but don't know how". I am diagnosed with AS but I have little / no desire to socialise. In fact I would be happy to live alone in the middle of nowhere with only an occasional visit or telephone call. In fact there are only two people in the whole world who I ever do want to talk to.

Isn't that more like classic autism? Or is this a variant of AS combined with my schizophrenia?

Just wondering.

I think it's AS mixed with a desire to simply be alone. Maybe even depression, where I seem to seek solitude more and have to force myself to be around even close friends.

I have little desire to socialize with strangers, particularly those I'll most likely never have any kind of relationship with, such as a store clerk. I'm always cordial, but I'm not necessarily friendly. Where I don't know how to socialize is with acquaintainces, such as at business functions and parties. I'm very bad at that, and I often drive people away unintentionally.

Everyone is different.
Some people with AS want to socialize, others don't. Just like everybody else in this world.
Not everyone with AS is an introvert, and not everyone with AS is an extrovert.

In my case, is that I find most people to be plain boring, therefore I have no desire to interact with them.
But my friends are quite interesting people, I guess this is why they are my friends.


Dunno.
My brother has severe autism, but he's an extrovert and would like to socialize (he can't because people don't understand him, since he can't talk).
About schizophrenia I don't really know...

Exactly. I only need a small amount of socializing....one friend who I see about once a month is enough for me. I do live with my mum though so I could always talk to her if I needed to and I always have the feeling that someone else is around even if I'm in my room alone reading. It might be lonelier if I ever live alone...then I might need more social interaction.

I too have always had very little interest in socializing just to socialize, or to make/have friends. I think my reason is because I find most people boring. For example, at work the guys will start talking about sports or guns or women and I can't get into it. It doesn't really interest me enough to join in. Most friends I have made throughout my life, which I can really count on one hand, have been by accident meaning I didn't seek that friend out.

Even being with the 1 friend I can call a friend is draining if we hang out too long, which is about 3 times a year. I just don't need that connection of friendship I guess to get by. You may be the same.

Thank you for your input everyone.

I only see my friend when there is a purpose; we do not like just meeting up for the sake of meeting up. We only meet up when a task needs to be done and we need each other to do it.

"Social anhedonia" (don't having pleasure in socialization) is one of the symptoms of schizophrenia.

I feel the same way. I think if I don't have aspergers I could be schizoid or both.

I think I would have at least a little more desire to socialize if I hadn't had so many bad experiences, but they started at such a young age I'm not even sure. I do socialize pretty frequently on the internet, which feels safer because I don't have to worry about my body language, responding quickly, and things like that.

I still seem to have less interest in it than the average person, but then, the average person is an extrovert and I am an introvert, even if you strip away the autism and probable social anxiety.

I like to socialize with my family and have little desire to socialize with anyone else.

I think that it is normal in ASD to have no desire to socialize.

I wouldn't mind socializing. I think it might be fun, actually. The problem is I'm no good at it. I have nothing in common with the people around here (lots of families with kids anyway), and I can hear guys on the street conversing about things that don't interest me (cars, women, guns, cliche stuff like that). Even if I could talk about the cliche stuff I'd still mess things up for me by saying the wrong things and making people shun me anyway.

It's an ASD thingy (no matter what type of).

I think it's simply being a loner. A lone wolf. I'm like that. I think it's a "problem" if there's some sort of negative reinforcement behind it. If you just simply prefer your own company, there's noting wrong or schizophrenic about that. Now if you didn't want to socialize because you thought everyone was out to get you or something like that, then that would be closer to schizophrenia.

Personally, it's not that I don't like people or despise being around them or have a LEAVE ME ALONE!! attitude. I simply prefer the simple uninterrupted tranquility of solitude. I don't get lonely and I'm quite happy being by myself.

Many people diagnosed with AS don't want to socialize and many diagnosed with autism want to socialize but don't know how . . . or I think it might be more nearly correct to say "They want to socialize in a way that is not compatible with most people." The autistic person I'm thinking of socializes just fine with people who want to socialize the way she does, and such people do exist.

There are many false dichotomies between the diagnostic labels like this one, which is one reason why the DSM-5 team wants to eliminate those categories.

Rather than "should I have a different diagnosis?" I have found I prefer to ask "does my diagnosis get me help I need?"

Last edited by Verdandi on 16 May 2013, 9:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I have conflicted feelings about this question as well. There are two sides I alternate between:

1. I don't want to socialize and I think my life would improve if I did not have to interact with people as often as I do; to maintain employment, housing, purchase things, etc. Being around people does not give me, i don't know, positive emotional state. I see some people who seem to gain energy just by being in the presence of others. I don't understand. When I am around people all I can think about is how can I leave and be alone again.

2. On the rare occasion that I do reach out to other people because I want to see what life is like for NT's ( i want to experience this thing that I am apparently missing), socially speaking, in hopes of some sort of amicable friendly relationship, with siblings, I get frustrated with it. In the past I have sent regular emails to older brother or older sister. Sometimes no reply. Why no reply? Then I think, this is exactly why I don't want to socialize. The other person does not reciprocate friendship interaction, other person behaves in a way I do not like, other person makes me angry, other person behaves in a way that makes me anxious, other person takes advantage of me.

I think #1 as a base disposition is only reinforced by #2.

About a year ago I noticed that the only times I get together with my father to visit were at my instigation and my behest. So I tested. I stopped calling him. I wanted to see if he would call. He didn't, mostly. I have received exactly two calls from him in the past year. Once when he was in my city visiting, and once when he was at a party of some sort, judging by the poor connection and background noise, and sounded drunk. f*****g bastard.

... I'm sorry. My relationship with my family is... complex.