Do we crave revenge and schadenfroh more than normal?

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ehymw
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06 May 2017, 11:49 pm

So a psychopath I knew in high school (last guy I got in a fight with) is going on trial for the attempted murder of his x.

This guy is such a freak he shot her in the head (over a year ago) and is being held without bond.

For some reason I don't understand a couple of weeks ago when I was half asleep I friended her on Facebook (I don't use my whole name) and today she accepted.

WTF is wrong with me?

Am I actually trying to get revenge on a guy who's about to live out the rest of his life in prison?

C2V
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07 May 2017, 4:17 am

I don't understand how adding someone on facebook could equal getting revenge on someone else.
But then again, I don't understand the concept of revenge at all. It is irrational/makes no sense.
And how did this girl survive getting shot in the head?

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liveandrew
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07 May 2017, 4:36 am

I was walking my dog in a local wood and came across a man and woman chatting. Saying hello is normal and polite in these situations and I like to use my dog walks as exercises in greeting people and a little small talk. So, as I was passing I said "Good morning" in a cheerful tone making sure to make my voice louder than normal as I tend to mumble a lot. The man ignored me, which was annoying but the woman turned her head and gave me a really long and pissed off stare! I grumbled to myself and carried on walking. After about 50 yards I turned to call my dog as she was hanging back. As I was looking back at the woman, she started walking away from the man, slipped and fell.

I don't normally partake in schadenfreude but on this particular occasion I made an exception, grinned and laughed

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SaveFerris
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07 May 2017, 12:59 pm

liveandrew wrote:

Jackass , the Dudesons , Dirty Sanchez and Youtube has made schadenfreude more socially acceptable judging by the their success and the amount of hits 'fail' videos get. I openly admit I love these shows/videos and find some funny - shame on me.

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liveandrew
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07 May 2017, 1:56 pm

SaveFerris wrote:

liveandrew wrote:

I can't say I like those shows at all. I even hated 'Game for a Laugh' when it was popular. This person did deserve a slip in the mud, though

A really nice thing did happen on the walk; we saw a couple of my dog's friends that she hadn't seen since last summer, a mastiff (who I like to call "the cow dog" as he's as big as one) and a golden retriever. The bonus was the mastiff had a new brother - a mastiff puppy nearly as big as he was! There's nothing like two huge slobbery dogs trying to lick you

ehymw
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07 May 2017, 4:00 pm

C2V wrote:

She frankly seems cool.

and a part of me wants to have sex with her.

That's why this is really messed up.

PS he shot from across a room and it's amazing what people can survive.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phineas_Gage

ASPartOfMe
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07 May 2017, 4:13 pm

I am sure it exists but the but the much bigger is problem is that so many of use want revenge on ourselves

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SaveFerris
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07 May 2017, 5:22 pm

ehymw wrote:

It is a bit messed up if the only reason you want sex with her is to get revenge on the guy in question , bear in mind you also could be causing her emotional damage if she finds out.

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SaveFerris
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07 May 2017, 5:27 pm

ASPartOfMe wrote:

I am sure it exists but the but the much bigger is problem is that so many of use want revenge on ourselves

I've been suicidal a lot of my life and just getting over a bad patch but don't see suicide as revenge on ourselves , I'm not sure of the stats but I'm guessing most people just want the pain to stop ( it is in my case ).

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ehymw
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07 May 2017, 6:48 pm

SaveFerris wrote:

ehymw wrote:

It is a bit messed up if the only reason you want sex with her is to get revenge on the guy in question , bear in mind you also could be causing her emotional damage if she finds out.

It's not the only reason I'm sure of that.

But it is one of them and I should be wanting to stay the hell away from that psycho and anything he's ever touched.

It could be schadenfroh.

It could be love of danger.

It could be that I feel sorry for her (a/o even like her).

Hell it could be a combo of any of the reasons above.

I wish I didn't have this urge and I hope someone else has experienced a similar problem and can help me quash this desire.

SaveFerris
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07 May 2017, 7:40 pm

ehymw wrote:

SaveFerris wrote:

ehymw wrote:

It is a bit messed up if the only reason you want sex with her is to get revenge on the guy in question , bear in mind you also could be causing her emotional damage if she finds out.

It's not the only reason I'm sure of that.

But it is one of them and I should be wanting to stay the hell away from that psycho and anything he's even touched.

It could be schadenfroh.

It could be love of danger.

It could be that I feel sorry for her (a/o even like her).

Hell it could be a combo of any of the reasons above.

I wish I didn't have this urge and I hope someone else has experienced a similar problem and can help be quash this desire.

I haven't experienced anything similar but I do appear to be a sucker for a damsel in distress. I don't know where it comes from but it's gotten me into situations which I didn't really want ( e.g. engaged , pregnant , issues in work , fights with parents , caused me breakdowns ). It may stem from an unpleasant boyfriend my mum once had , or maybe I just want to be the proverbial knight in shining armour - who knows ?

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Wolfram87
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08 May 2017, 7:28 am

First off, it's "schadenfreude".

Second, a resounding "maybe". I think aspies in general have a pretty deep sense of justice and fairness, and combined with a history of being bullied and generally badly treated, I think it can develop into a bit of schadenfreude in some cases. I know I've grown a bit of a selective meanstreak.

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ASPartOfMe
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08 May 2017, 8:24 am

SaveFerris wrote:

ASPartOfMe wrote:

I am sure it exists but the but the much bigger is problem is that so many of use want revenge on ourselves

People have many reasons for suicide ideation and I do not mean to invalidate yours or anybody else's. Just from reading posts here the source of the pain for many is their belief their autism made them a bad person, their belief that they are a failure as a person and always will be, they feel they are a burden etc. And getting back more on topic I do think mistreatment from others is often an important factor for self-hate.

Last edited by ASPartOfMe on 08 May 2017, 1:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

SaveFerris
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08 May 2017, 12:37 pm

Wolfram87 wrote:

First off, it's "schadenfreude".

Schadenfreude is the noun, Schadenfroh is the adjective

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SaveFerris
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08 May 2017, 12:40 pm

ASPartOfMe wrote:

SaveFerris wrote:

ASPartOfMe wrote:

I am sure it exists but the but the much bigger is problem is that so many of use want revenge on ourselves

People have many reasons for suicide ideation and I do not mean to invalidate yours or anybody's. Just from reading posts here the source of the pain for many is thier belief thier autism made them a bad person, thier belief that are a falure as a person and always will be, they feel they are a burden etc. And getting back more on topic I do think mistreatment from others is often an important factor for self hate.

I feel so invalidated now :lol:

( joke ) , I'm sure you've read more posts than me so I'll agree with you.

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Wolfram87
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08 May 2017, 3:57 pm

SaveFerris wrote:

Wolfram87 wrote:

First off, it's "schadenfreude".

Schadenfreude is the noun, Schadenfroh is the adjective

Did not know. Thank you for that. Still does not seem to make sense of the thread title.

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