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MSBKyle
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15 Dec 2018, 8:32 pm

When someone on the autism spectrum is criticized, insulted, or wronged, does he or she feel the need to get revenge? Does he or she feel the need to defend him or herself? For me, whenever I am insulted or criticized for something I sit back and don't do anything. I don't feel the need to retaliate or defend myself. It doesn't mean I'm not mad or not hurting on the inside, I just don't know how to react in that type of situation. Just today I got called a fa***t by someone. I didn't feel any rage inside me so I just walked away. When I passed this guy again he proceeded to call me a fa***t and I just kept walking and didn't say anything. I don't feel the need to start unnecessary drama. I don't want to fight back even if I have been wronged. For an NT who is wronged, he or she would want to retaliate or fight back. I just don't have it in me to defend myself whenever I am wronged. I don't know if this is common for people who are on the spectrum.



auntblabby
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15 Dec 2018, 8:40 pm

I tend to be a deer in the headlights. I just don't have the quick wit necessary for any kind of verbal sparring. I console myself with the thought that they probably have poor hygiene :mrgreen:



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15 Dec 2018, 9:03 pm

I avoid drama, but if someone says something that humiliates me or hurts my feelings, I would retaliate. If somebody wants me to react by being bitchy, I just ignore it to avoid getting down on that person's level. It's called being an adult.


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15 Dec 2018, 9:05 pm

"Don't get mad, get even!" -- Anonymous

It means to channel your anger into an act of vengeance.

Sometimes the best vengeance is to simply live longer than your enemies.



dragonsanddemons
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15 Dec 2018, 9:24 pm

Well, I can only speak for myself, but I can't remember ever wanting to take revenge or "get even" with anyone. I do sometimes feel angry about such things, but the most I might do is wish for something to happen to a person, and even then, nothing that would be too dreadful for them, just something to make them reconsider their behavior. In situations where someone insults or criticizes me, I too don't know what to say/do, and wouldn't have the courage/confidence to even if I did. I just sort of freeze, and just stand there and take it.


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Aspie19828
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15 Dec 2018, 9:29 pm

I used my size to intimidate people at school that insulted me. Instead of words I would stare them down, throw punches, kick or throw things at people. They soon backed off and feared me. Never let anyone push you, hold your ground and fight back!



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15 Dec 2018, 9:33 pm

Aspie19828 wrote:
I used my size to intimidate people at school that insulted me. Instead of words I would stare them down, throw punches, kick or throw things at people. They soon backed off and feared me. Never let anyone push you, hold your ground and fight back!

glad to hear that worked for you but I was a shrimp [albeit a tall one, a head taller than my so-called "peers" :roll: ] who didn't have the reflexes to get out of my own way and was always several steps [mental and physical and psychological] behind my tormentors.



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15 Dec 2018, 9:38 pm

I used to be a real hot head and react badly but I learned to use sarcasm and humour to diffuse most situations.

Is someone called me a fa***t , I'd blow them a kiss :twisted:


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MagicMeerkat
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15 Dec 2018, 9:50 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I avoid drama, but if someone says something that humiliates me or hurts my feelings, I would retaliate. If somebody wants me to react by being bitchy, I just ignore it to avoid getting down on that person's level. It's called being an adult.


This...

Plus I might make a comment in a calm tone of voice about how people such as Albert Einstein would have been diagnosed as autistic if they were alive today and then I would wish them a good day and then go on my Jolly way.


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16 Dec 2018, 3:23 am

I confront people. They don't expect me to, but i walk up to their face. And i'm rather tall so, well, that helps and usually does the trick without saying a word.

I don't take crap from random people.


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16 Dec 2018, 8:19 am

You know, I'm not sure if I do or not. I'm not easily offended. My mom insults me so often I feel the rest of the world are full of pleasant people. They don't bother me at all. Oh yes I do fight back with my mom. I try to be kind to her but I always hold my ground.


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Prometheus18
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16 Dec 2018, 8:28 am

I don't think either trait is any more marked in the ND community than in the NT one.



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16 Dec 2018, 8:30 am

^

I agree , it's a human trait.


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16 Dec 2018, 9:18 am

I just stay away from people because I have less problems that way



HighLlama
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16 Dec 2018, 9:26 am

SaveFerris wrote:
I used to be a real hot head and react badly but I learned to use sarcasm and humour to diffuse most situations.

Is someone called me a fa***t , I'd blow them a kiss :twisted:


Ha! Great comeback. When people cut me off on the road, I tend to smile and wave. They do a double take because they think we know each other!

I learned to do comebacks, too, though often I won't be able to think fast enough in the moment. When I can, it's because I've had so many imagined arguments and I've scripted so many potential comebacks.



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16 Dec 2018, 10:33 am

HighLlama wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
I used to be a real hot head and react badly but I learned to use sarcasm and humour to diffuse most situations.

Is someone called me a fa***t , I'd blow them a kiss :twisted:


Ha! Great comeback. When people cut me off on the road, I tend to smile and wave. They do a double take because they think we know each other!

I learned to do comebacks, too, though often I won't be able to think fast enough in the moment. When I can, it's because I've had so many imagined arguments and I've scripted so many potential comebacks.


It's all scripted for me , stuff I've pinched from movies , films and real life :lol:

I'd definitely not advise the 'blow a kiss' comeback as anyone who thinks calling you a fa***t is going to offend you is going to lose their s**t when you pucker up. :twisted:

I also do the wave thing at drivers but also insult them in a calm manner.


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