One aspect of society I wish was different.

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I have learned time and again that my values and way of thinking are very unique and isolating. This has been a real struggle in my life. Many avenues of life I used to think I would be able to participate in have been shut off to me. To say this has been traumatic for me almost feels like a vast understatement. With that said I have largely accepted that I have to adjust to the world accordingly if I wish to engage in a wide variety of fields.

I wish I could say otherwise but being an adult on the spectrum has shrunk my world quite a bit. Usually if given the choice between conforming and ignoring I chose ignoring every time. I do not have any interest or concern with politics, with sports, with social status, I have little to no concern about money or power. Neither of which have ever appealed to me in any way. Things like group activities and hobbies mean nothing to me.

I do not begrudge others who find great meaning and purpose in any of these activities. I just know they are not for me; and I have ceded those battlefields completely. I suppose I have learned that the pain of isolation is more tolerable to me than trying to engage in any of those fields.

Over time I have become more and more comfortable with having minority opinions. I have never really stressed or cared much what other people think or do. I just know I am different, but to each their own as far as I am concerned. The one avenue of public life I still cling to and believe in is in regard to love and relationships.

I will confess. I wish the world was more open to my ideas of love and romance. Love is really the only thing in life I believe in and is still my biggest goal in life. I think that love is the antidote to so much of what I dislike about people.

I wish people were more open to other people making getting into a romantic relationship their biggest goal in life. Every other pursuit seems so hollow and meaningless to me. The pursuit of status, politics, power, money, careers, friends all seems so hollow to me.

Yet whenever I try and bring up that pursuing a romantic relationship is my biggest goal in life it is looked down upon. I really don't care what other people think. But I do feel it would make getting into a relationship easier if I had more support. That said I still believe in love and plan on pursuing it as long as I live.

Society is generally so weak minded, social media and news tells them exactly what to do and think, including hating genders. We ignore that, so that is irrelevant. Do not make the mistake of sitting at home waiting for a prewritten destiny. Do not go to social media or dating apps. Go out to places where sane people gather. I go to autism coffee chats, national parks, book stores, and science conventions. I go to those places specifically to meet people. I meet the coolest girls ever, and never heard any radical politics or anyone promoting their OF page. Because these are the types of places other real people go to escape the world.

Thanks you. That is really cool of you to share. I am not into social events or group events. I really only like spending time with people in one on one settings. So I stick to the internet to try and getting dates. I know it does not guarantee anything; but it is what I am comfortable with.

I am just looking for the right person to share my life with. My Private messages are always open and I am always happy to chat.

The problem with society is that people only see what's in front of them.

I thought that was an autistic trait only.

Kinda feel the same, people always disagree with my opinions. The main problem here is that i think that everyone should have an absolute freedom, as long as it does not hurt the others. And people in society are really obsessed with forbidding others to do something. They always think of others as imbeciles who need to be guided with rules, but somehow if you apply the same treatment to those high horse people, they getting offended and upset, because in their world only they get to tell others what to do and how to live their life.

And i also think that things like love is hardly achievable with a human being, because most people treat love as simply comfort in life, being with someone who brings you resourses or actions that make your life better. But as soon as there are problems, those people leave for someone who does not have them, because they care not about for the human being, but for things that other humans can provide. Feels like only animals can love you even if you give nothing else but love in return.

Perhaps I should explain myself a bit differently. I spend a lot of time looking for a girlfriend online. I am too shy and not comfortable in group settings to meet people in person. So, I am limited to trying to find someone to date online. This is totally fine with me.

One of the first things people ask me is "Why do I want a relationship?" And to me this is a silly thing to ask. The vast vast majority of all people in history have wanted to be in a romantic relationship. I am not saying everyone wants a relationship. But when the vast majority of people want romantic relationships, I would start to think that a desire to be in a romantic relationship is a part of human nature.

Yet people seem to think there are always ulterior motives to a relationship. No one asks someone who is in their teens or twenties why they want a relationship. But once you approach forty and have never been in a relationship before people start to get skeptical. They also have a hard time understand how someone can make getting into a relationship their biggest goal in life yet never get in one.

That answer seems kind of obvious to me. One person on their own does not totally have the power to get into a romantic relationship. It takes two to tango as it were. I have not found that person yet. Although I plan on looking until I do

I wish people would educate themselves more instead of being blathering idiots and claiming to be an expert on subject they know jack s--t about. Not to mention entitled to their "Own" facts.

With people, I usually wait to form an opinion, what sometimes seems ok at first isn't what you think. At times I've peeled back the proverbial onion and see their true colors. Which being on the spectrum is harder to do but as I've gotten older I find people usually tell on themselves.

I think social media and biased news has really been bad for society.

Me too, certain types of crowds are just not right for me. But sometimes I dont mind large crowds, as long as nobody is focused on me. I would only get into a one on one conversation with someone I am attracted to too. We are surely the same species. Even being on this site makes me feel self conscious because so many read the threads and not reply.

But I have to be honest with you. I think we both stay alone because we dont like going places, and probably most people here. Lets be honest outside what we wish things were. If you heard someone say "I rather meet someone online, not go in public." would you think their chances are high or does it sound next to none? I dont think it sounds realistic at all, Ive never even heard of it. And I dont know of anything we can really accomplish in life without stepping outside of our comfort zone. Also being alone will cause so many mental, emotional, social, and even biological issues that will make it even harder to click with someone.

It might not be comfortable to hear, but I dont think you will meet anyone at home by yourself. I think you will have to take it as a challenge and even learn to walk up to girls and talk to them. But I also think that with your intelligence, you wont have problems with people who are lost, stupid, or dont have their priorities straight. You have the nose and eyes to sense your own species right away. Do whatever you want, good luck either way, but I think it is what it is man.

To be honest I can't remember the last couple I met that didn't meet online. As far as my desire to not attend social events. Well, I would much rather be single the rest of my life than being forced to go to group events to just try and get into a relationship.

If I am not right for someone that is totally fine. But I am going to put myself out there online as much as possible in the hope of meeting the right person

lol. The autistic stubbornness made me laugh. I get you man. I asked AI about this specifically one time, about autistic dating. What it said this time might have been pretty smart. It said autistic people do horrible when meeting is the focus. Like walking in a park and walking up to someone to talk to them. I cant see myself really doing that either. But it said that they thrive when cooperating in tasks. Their personality gets to shine sometimes as they efficiently speed through tasks with accuracy. I do relate to that, working together on something makes it a hundred times easier for me as I can skip the awkward part of talking to someone I dont know. Even asking for a number is easy after you been hanging out with someone already, and it makes it seem like not a big deal. And our alternative ways of thinking is one of our cards we can play that could be impressive and its how we relate to each other, so it makes sense there too.

I must keep my vote that you should go places. We need to have fun too anyway. At least a park or somewhere relaxing. But good luck either way, sincerely. I feel like Im already too old.

A lot of autistic traits are regular traits, exaggerated to the point of causing problems.

Oh trust me, no one on the planet is better at having fun than me

And guys who walk around having butt loads of fun are always the first to get girls. But they have to be able to see it.

I am not a very social person now. I used to be far more social. Damn did I have a good time. Never attracted anyone. I still had fun

I suppose it is a fair question to ask though- if I was much more social, willing to go out and ask girls out all the time, If I had friends and was going out having all kinds of fun- why did I never get a girlfriend, or even close for that matter.

It is something I have thought about quite a bit. I was pretty social throughout my 20s. The short answer I can give is I was (and am) autistic. I did not know this at the time. To be honest when I was in my 20s I thought everyone was like me. Now with age and experience I know that I am a rather unique person. I did not always have the same values as others. Looking back people were more interested in having careers and making money compared to me.

I was mostly interested in spending money on wine and women- and lord knows I did. I still do not connect with people the same way other people do. I can see now how different I am. I am still a total hedonist. But my party days are over as far as I can tell.

That said I still know how to have fun. I still work harder than anyone else I have ever known at having fun. Fun is what I am all about. But I do realize as I get older that women are not really looking for a fun time guy. They want someone they can build a life with. That is just not me. I am never going to change. Nor do I desire to change. I know I will always be an acquired taste not made for mass consumption.

Yet I am realizing I am totally fine with that. Sure, I do not appeal to the vast majority of the women of the world. But damn if I do not believe I am the right sort of person for some women. I just need to find them. Considering how unique I am I think my odds are best finding them online. In person I am weird. Online I am myself.