Which have it harder? Male Aspies or female Aspies?

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Which do you think has it harder? Male Aspies or female Aspies?
Males 25%  25%  [ 65 ]
Females 25%  25%  [ 65 ]
Both 32%  32%  [ 84 ]
I don't know 18%  18%  [ 46 ]
Total votes : 260

Subotai
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25 Feb 2012, 2:18 am

Kaybee wrote:
Image


Yes.



Wolfheart
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25 Feb 2012, 6:25 am

albertwesker wrote:
when it comes to getting dates, men have it harder

in the dating world, typically it is the man's job to initiate conversation and ask a woman out, women basically just sit there and wait for the men to come to them

we all know for a man to be successful with women he needs a bit of "game" which means talking to her and coming off as "cool", the woman just has to look average to attract men


That's true but that also makes women more susceptible to sexual abuse and meeting partners that are different to what they present themselves as, for instance, a pretty girl can stand in a bar and be approached, it doesn't determine the quality of the person or the quality of the relationship.

Also as posted women are expected to have boyfriends as a status factor, they have far more pressure and expectations put on them.

On the other hand, a male on the spectrum can form a relationship with a good girl and they can share mutual prospects or interests. If it doesn't work out, the male isn't badly hurt and he can learn from that experience to apply it to future relationships. He has lost nothing but gained something, even more so if you can free yourself from attachments.

Women lose their looks and have a time limit on their biological ticker yet they are still pressured to look young. Men on the other hand have a potency to attract women well into their old age due to various factors. Look at actors and actresses, most attractive actors are in their 40's or 50's, most successful actresses are required to be young and attractive.



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25 Feb 2012, 7:46 am

OK, look, I don't know what the social differences are between males and females are in other countries, but here in Britain there seems to be certain rules for men and certain rules for women, and all in all, it looks like men have it easier because they can get away with more without being shamed, whereas women have to stick to these rules otherwise they get considered ''skanky'' or ''weird'' or whatever. Even NTs admit this, so you can imagine how much harder it is for females on the spectrum.

It's harder to keep up with all these rules of conformity as a female Aspie living in the NT world, if you want to fit in and not be ridiculed (which some of us don't). I've found women can be very snotty and judgemental towards eachother. I've always found men easier to get along with anyway.

Where I come from, men can choose to have long hair without being judged or ridiculed, they don't have to shave their legs or even under their arms, and they can choose to grow a beard or shave it and they won't be judged either way. I even hear some women moan about men with beards, but somehow having a beard is still acceptable, it's just some women's opinion. But if a woman chose to go out with unshaved legs showing, they would be absolutely shamed like hell, not just a few people's opinions, but everybody will hate you and call you all the names under the sun as though it's completely ''wrong'' for an English woman to not shave their legs. But some Aspies (like myself) are a little delayed in learning these things, and so get more shamed in early adulthood. If an Aspie boy wants to grow a beard, he can, without getting shamed. Just a few people might say ''oh I don't like his beard'' but won't judge them against it, whereas any rules girls break, they seem to get judged against it.


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25 Feb 2012, 10:53 am

I couldn't care less.

I'm a transgendered Aspie, which is an entirely different ballgame.

And anyone who thinks they can objectively quantify whether having a penis or a vagina makes your life "harder" as an INDIVIDUAL is a bit of a dunce IMNSHO.


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25 Feb 2012, 10:54 am

I think it depends entirely on the individual.


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25 Feb 2012, 12:50 pm

Joe90 wrote:
It's harder to keep up with all these rules of conformity as a female Aspie living in the NT world, if you want to fit in and not be ridiculed (which some of us don't). I've found women can be very snotty and judgemental towards eachother. I've always found men easier to get along with anyway.


That's your view of it. Isn't it likely that if they don't fit in they are ignored and exist outside the bounds of normal society? That's the way I feel living in the USA. I'm not ridiculed directly, but I'm not really part of social society (the only place I fit in to a degree is at my job, even there I'm viewed as odd).

Getting along with men as acquaintances is relatively easy as long as you respect each other's boundaries. That's not a close relationship.



25 Feb 2012, 12:56 pm

Verdandi wrote:
Well, generally speaking, men aren't oppressed by sexism and women are, so, autistic women end up facing both sexism and ableism, whereas autistic men end up facing ableism.



:lmao:



Disabled men are treated worse than disabled women. Because men, at least here in the US, are expected to be independent and self-sufficient. And as I said before, society is more sympathetic to women with problems and quite often there are independent men willing to support them.



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25 Feb 2012, 1:01 pm

AspieRogue wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
Well, generally speaking, men aren't oppressed by sexism and women are, so, autistic women end up facing both sexism and ableism, whereas autistic men end up facing ableism.



:lmao:



Disabled men are treated worse than disabled women. Because men, at least here in the US, are expected to be independent and self-sufficient. And as I said before, society is more sympathetic to women with problems and quite often there are independent men willing to support them.


Or take advantage just to get in their pants for a couple nights.


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25 Feb 2012, 1:01 pm

I don't think female Aspies necessarily have it harder as Aspies, but I think it's harder to raise awareness about Asperger's in females, and drill it into society that females don't always have emotional or manipulative motives behind everything, and can be just like male Aspies but get misconstrued simply for being female.


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Sickpuppies124
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25 Feb 2012, 1:09 pm

Both. Autism is a pain in the ass to deal with if you don't have any practical talents that your good at.



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25 Feb 2012, 1:20 pm

Last time I checked, people around the world aren't identical so who's to decides on who has it harder?

We don't even have to face the same because not all woman and all men around the world are treated in the same certain ways.

Might be autism affecting reasoning a little... but just because we experience certain things with specific people and their expectations around us doesn't mean other autistic people elsewhere must have experienced the same or even something very similar.

Experiences are different for different people in the same place and it can be different for different people in different places. (And then us autistic people don't all come from the same generation/era even!) Don't tell me that chaos is a great basis for coming up with even remotely accurate generalisations about the "mysterious" spectrum of autism and gender bias across all kinds of cultures and over the span of the past 60-70 years or so. That's a manifest of fuzziness in terms of objective clarity.


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25 Feb 2012, 1:24 pm

Here's what I've noticed:

Aspie men lash out at NT women, aspie women team up with NT women to thumb their noses and ridicule aspie men(because they see such men as being low status and female aspies also want high status men too).



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25 Feb 2012, 1:34 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
AspieRogue wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
Well, generally speaking, men aren't oppressed by sexism and women are, so, autistic women end up facing both sexism and ableism, whereas autistic men end up facing ableism.



:lmao:



Disabled men are treated worse than disabled women. Because men, at least here in the US, are expected to be independent and self-sufficient. And as I said before, society is more sympathetic to women with problems and quite often there are independent men willing to support them.


Or take advantage just to get in their pants for a couple nights.


There are still men who like to be the white knight. I don't understand the desire, but they still exist.



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25 Feb 2012, 1:37 pm

AspieRogue wrote:
Here's what I've noticed:

Aspie men lash out at NT women, aspie women team up with NT women to thumb their noses and ridicule aspie men(because they see such men as being low status and female aspies also want high status men too).


Well clearly that is not the case with them all, as I would never want to team up with people to ridicule anyone and am not very intrested in high status men.


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25 Feb 2012, 1:51 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
AspieRogue wrote:
Here's what I've noticed:

Aspie men lash out at NT women, aspie women team up with NT women to thumb their noses and ridicule aspie men(because they see such men as being low status and female aspies also want high status men too).


Well clearly that is not the case with them all, as I would never want to team up with people to ridicule anyone and am not very intrested in high status men.



I know....I should've used the quantifier "many"; because otherwise it's interpreted as a universal statement.



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25 Feb 2012, 2:23 pm

Men are faced with tougher standards and expectations, and live in a more violent world.

Women are more easily taken advantage of, and the potential for sexual abuse is higher.

They mostly face a different set of problems, and I don't know if they can really be compared to judge which is worse, but as far as the literal potential for survival goes, women have the edge, as they are more likely to receive care, or simply be taken in by a man. Whether or not their life will be much fun in that situation is another matter, but they'll survive.