Do aspie males have a harder time than aspie females ?

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Malcolm_Scipo
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27 May 2005, 10:49 am

Sean wrote:
This thread was pointless when it was started and has only become more so. Neither have lives that are easier than the other. Ragardless of being AS male or AS female, the world wants clones and we're not it.

I agree with you. And now for shameless advertising:
http://www.bertisevil.tv/


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autti34
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27 May 2005, 2:37 pm

Tally wrote:
I read that females are generally better at learning social skills. This could explain why more males than females are diagnosed as AS, because the signs in girls/women are not so noticeable. I'm not sure how true this is, but it would mean that it's easier for females.

i think it harder to be a girl with autism .becuse were suoped to no social things better and be good at small talk .not me .dateing can be a real pain in the butt those im lucky right now to be with someone who exceptes me the way i am .my social skills are more around 3 to 5 years of age they are helping me w/that .he wittenes to my meltdowns :? . anyways that what i think


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Malcolm_Scipo
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28 May 2005, 8:23 am

Sean wrote:
This thread was pointless when it was started and has only become more so. Neither have lives that are easier than the other. Ragardless of being AS male or AS female, the world wants clones and we're not it.


_________________
THOUGHT IT WAS THE END.
THOUGHT IT WAS THE 4TH OF JULY.
I WOKE UP AND THEN I REALISED,
I WAS NOT WHAT I HAD ALWAYS TRIED TO EMULATE.
INSTEAD A SHADOW OF FORMER GLORY.
AND THEN I CRIED.


danlo
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28 May 2005, 1:04 pm

I get the impression that most of the girls take this way too personally, and have difficulty separating the point of this thread with believing that we are disregarding their problems, and that they don't really matter. Try taking this from a distanced and impassionate point of view. We aren't trying to belittle your experiences.
I don't believe that AS girls and guys act any different in comparable ways to one another, but the POINT is that society makes excuses for girl's behaviors that aren't typical girlish behaviors. I have yet to find that such excuses are extended to males (my experience). While most of you believe you don't have empathy, which is complete BS, it is expected and assumed that you do and that you are emotionally fragile. Guys, on the other hand, are supposed to be masochistic and be emotionally barren. It is these assumptions/expectations that underline the social behaviors towards the sexes. The female set of expectations lends towards a gentler attitude, such as opening doors for women, offering seats, offering to lend a hand, old fashioned courtesies and the like. In this age of 'awareness', many bad behaviors are often assigned to "oh, she's just having her time of month". This excuse-making is why AS females often slip under the radar more than men. Not because their AS gives them less problems.



Malcolm_Scipo
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28 May 2005, 3:24 pm

Here here.


_________________
THOUGHT IT WAS THE END.
THOUGHT IT WAS THE 4TH OF JULY.
I WOKE UP AND THEN I REALISED,
I WAS NOT WHAT I HAD ALWAYS TRIED TO EMULATE.
INSTEAD A SHADOW OF FORMER GLORY.
AND THEN I CRIED.


Torak
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28 May 2005, 5:09 pm

Aspie males have a hard time because it is a social norm that men are expected to make overt, active moves when courting and social difficulties make this very difficult. I am theorising to an extent, for reasons which I will explain below.

Females make more covert, passive moves.

I am not a female so I am unable to comment on aspie female problems with this. Any feedback appreciated.

I'm commenting from a slightly detached point of view because, acknowledging my own tainted viewpoint as a victim of sexual abuse, I have no desire to get involved in a relationship for the foreseeable future.

But from what I have seen both parties are attempting to handle, on a more active and logical basis, something which is instinctive to NT's and does not lend itself naturally to logic or reason unless one party has an ulterior motive.

It seems both parties will struggle to adapt to the role that society expects them to take.

Again, this is simply my opinion and limited by my lack of experience r.e. women and bad experience r.e. abuse, and I am quite ready to admit that the whole subject of relationships is totally alien to me from an emotional point of view (I have had counselling but the damage is done).

My own attitude is that I am what I am and if I am not happy with myself how can I possibly be happy with someone else or be capable of making them happy? It would not be fair on her or on me.

I've got off the point of the debate now, so I'll give the answer "I have no idea! I'm even more baffled now than before!" :?



Sean
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29 May 2005, 2:35 am

Is there any objective evidence to show that one sex has more trouble in social situations than the other or is more aware of their social deficiencies?



Malcolm_Scipo
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29 May 2005, 2:40 am

No.


_________________
THOUGHT IT WAS THE END.
THOUGHT IT WAS THE 4TH OF JULY.
I WOKE UP AND THEN I REALISED,
I WAS NOT WHAT I HAD ALWAYS TRIED TO EMULATE.
INSTEAD A SHADOW OF FORMER GLORY.
AND THEN I CRIED.


Malcolm_Scipo
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29 May 2005, 2:41 am

No.


_________________
THOUGHT IT WAS THE END.
THOUGHT IT WAS THE 4TH OF JULY.
I WOKE UP AND THEN I REALISED,
I WAS NOT WHAT I HAD ALWAYS TRIED TO EMULATE.
INSTEAD A SHADOW OF FORMER GLORY.
AND THEN I CRIED.


autti34
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29 May 2005, 9:41 am

im connfused reding some off the responces


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danlo
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29 May 2005, 10:11 am

Sean wrote:
Is there any objective evidence to show that one sex has more trouble in social situations than the other or is more aware of their social deficiencies?

You'll note that I said not that they have more or less trouble, but their deficiencies are excused away. Tony Atwood said some things similar as to why the ratio for male diagnosis far exceeds women diagnosis. Its not that they have less trouble, but that their troubles are attributed to other things and excused.



Malcolm_Scipo
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30 May 2005, 7:12 am

Interesting.......


_________________
THOUGHT IT WAS THE END.
THOUGHT IT WAS THE 4TH OF JULY.
I WOKE UP AND THEN I REALISED,
I WAS NOT WHAT I HAD ALWAYS TRIED TO EMULATE.
INSTEAD A SHADOW OF FORMER GLORY.
AND THEN I CRIED.


cin
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31 May 2005, 2:56 pm

Malcolm_Scipo wrote:
So what? Aspies are less likely to commit crimes. Anyway, I believe girls with AS may have it slightly easier as more men will be interested in them than girls in men with AS.


um.... that doesn't make it easier. it just makes it easier to be victimized.



cin
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31 May 2005, 2:59 pm

as for things being more "excusable" from females than males, that's just plain wrong.

women are expected to make themselves fit in. when you can't you're just screwed. and the names women are called when they behave aspie are a lot nastier and a lot less socially OK than the names men are called... seems like people expect a lot of social ineptitude from men and forgive it.

i'd suspect it's a grass is always greener situation, tho. life is hard for everyone.



Malcolm_Scipo
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31 May 2005, 3:03 pm

Far more boys are bullied at my school.... Oh well. Who cares when both genders have hard times?


_________________
THOUGHT IT WAS THE END.
THOUGHT IT WAS THE 4TH OF JULY.
I WOKE UP AND THEN I REALISED,
I WAS NOT WHAT I HAD ALWAYS TRIED TO EMULATE.
INSTEAD A SHADOW OF FORMER GLORY.
AND THEN I CRIED.


pizzaboss
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31 May 2005, 3:33 pm

very true, both genders have problems.