20 Mar 2012, 9:37 am
BruceCM wrote:
Great! I'm in too many other forums to dedicate much time to this one. Feel free to use the email buttons if you want to chat more, it'd be easier. Or PMs, if you prefer. Otherwise, I'm probably out of this thread, as it seems done & best wishes with it all. 
Thanks a lot!
20 Mar 2012, 10:30 am
rebbieh wrote:
Halligeninseln wrote:
Hej! Jag visste inte att du är svensk. Varifran komma du i Sverige? Jag var lärare i Malmö under tre ar vid slutet av attitalet. Var en sköna tid för mig. Etc etc. (My keyboard can't write Swedish properly).
The psychiatrist said "Wie soll ich das wissen? Warum hat sie (ie my GP) Sie zu MIR geschickt?". Which means more or less the same as what I wrote. I didn't bother to translate the exact words in my post, choosing instead to convey the overall message of the half-hour interview I had with her. That was after I had shown her a sheet of paper on which I had described the current state of things regarding my search for a diagnosis. It was a horrible experience because she sat there exuding self-confidence and I felt strongly that she had contempt and distaste for my life history while I explained things like stimming, special interests, social isolation, chaotic work history, social overload problems etc etc, She had a picture of her two young children on her desk which I felt may be OK for a business person to have on their desk but not for a psychiatrist, who is dealing with people who quite possibly DON'T have a happy family situation and quite possibly aren't functioning successfully in society, otherwise why would they be seeing a psychiatrist? At the end of the interview she did offer me an "Überweisung" for psychotherapy (I think one gets eight sessions, if you can actually find a therapist, which one usually can't) with the proviso that they wouldn't be able to tell me either if I had AS and that to be accepted for therapy I would need to show a willingness to change, which misses the point completely because what I was looking for was a professional opinion and not to be therapised at my age (I'm fifty-eight). I could write on and on and on about this topic so I'll end the post here.
The psychiatrist said "Wie soll ich das wissen? Warum hat sie (ie my GP) Sie zu MIR geschickt?". Which means more or less the same as what I wrote. I didn't bother to translate the exact words in my post, choosing instead to convey the overall message of the half-hour interview I had with her. That was after I had shown her a sheet of paper on which I had described the current state of things regarding my search for a diagnosis. It was a horrible experience because she sat there exuding self-confidence and I felt strongly that she had contempt and distaste for my life history while I explained things like stimming, special interests, social isolation, chaotic work history, social overload problems etc etc, She had a picture of her two young children on her desk which I felt may be OK for a business person to have on their desk but not for a psychiatrist, who is dealing with people who quite possibly DON'T have a happy family situation and quite possibly aren't functioning successfully in society, otherwise why would they be seeing a psychiatrist? At the end of the interview she did offer me an "Überweisung" for psychotherapy (I think one gets eight sessions, if you can actually find a therapist, which one usually can't) with the proviso that they wouldn't be able to tell me either if I had AS and that to be accepted for therapy I would need to show a willingness to change, which misses the point completely because what I was looking for was a professional opinion and not to be therapised at my age (I'm fifty-eight). I could write on and on and on about this topic so I'll end the post here.
Oh, kan du prata svenska? Jag kommer ifrån Borås (det ligger nära Göteborg). Vad var du lärare i när du jobbade i Malmö?
Anyway, that doesn't sound great. Before I started to read stuff in this forum and discuss things I thought going to a psychologist was something good and that most people have good experiences from doing so. I guess I was quite naive.
Jag var lärare i det engelska spraket. Den sista gangen jag pratade svenska är 22 ar sedan
. Tyvarr är mina kunskaper i det svenska spraket ganska rostig nu. För 22 ar sedan var de inte daliga. I hope that wasn't too ungrammatical.
About the psychiatrist: she asked me what concrete problems I wanted help with, because I don't think medical people are interested in giving diagnoses except where it is relevant to some kind of sickness and cure. I suppose that is fair enough. I can't remember what exactly you have written in this thread up to now, but do you actually need HELP from a professional or are you just seeking self-knowledge? I think the psychiatrist was right in a way because I have learned in the course of my life that I have certain limits socially and am able to live within them so they don't really create problems. What I mean is that I spend most of my time alone but have a girlfriend and a few hours work a week so everything is ok. The question WHY that's about all I have been able to cope with socially only matters to myself and not from a treatment standpoint. When I was much younger and coming up against my limits all the time it was a different question. So unless you feel yourself to be not coping in some way maybe a diagnosis is out of place. By the time I came to see the psychiatrist I had already come to that conclusion anyway. For example, today I'm just sitting here on my own and I won't see anyone at all until I give an English lesson on Thursday afternoon. If I had to interact with someone for more than about 10 minutes in a social way I'd get exhausted and want to get away, but since I don't have to it's not a problem. If I felt bad about being like this it would be a problem too, but since I accept it it's not. My girlfriend accepts it too. She just tells me I'm autistic
.
20 Mar 2012, 10:52 am
Halligeninseln wrote:
rebbieh wrote:
Halligeninseln wrote:
Hej! Jag visste inte att du är svensk. Varifran komma du i Sverige? Jag var lärare i Malmö under tre ar vid slutet av attitalet. Var en sköna tid för mig. Etc etc. (My keyboard can't write Swedish properly).
The psychiatrist said "Wie soll ich das wissen? Warum hat sie (ie my GP) Sie zu MIR geschickt?". Which means more or less the same as what I wrote. I didn't bother to translate the exact words in my post, choosing instead to convey the overall message of the half-hour interview I had with her. That was after I had shown her a sheet of paper on which I had described the current state of things regarding my search for a diagnosis. It was a horrible experience because she sat there exuding self-confidence and I felt strongly that she had contempt and distaste for my life history while I explained things like stimming, special interests, social isolation, chaotic work history, social overload problems etc etc, She had a picture of her two young children on her desk which I felt may be OK for a business person to have on their desk but not for a psychiatrist, who is dealing with people who quite possibly DON'T have a happy family situation and quite possibly aren't functioning successfully in society, otherwise why would they be seeing a psychiatrist? At the end of the interview she did offer me an "Überweisung" for psychotherapy (I think one gets eight sessions, if you can actually find a therapist, which one usually can't) with the proviso that they wouldn't be able to tell me either if I had AS and that to be accepted for therapy I would need to show a willingness to change, which misses the point completely because what I was looking for was a professional opinion and not to be therapised at my age (I'm fifty-eight). I could write on and on and on about this topic so I'll end the post here.
The psychiatrist said "Wie soll ich das wissen? Warum hat sie (ie my GP) Sie zu MIR geschickt?". Which means more or less the same as what I wrote. I didn't bother to translate the exact words in my post, choosing instead to convey the overall message of the half-hour interview I had with her. That was after I had shown her a sheet of paper on which I had described the current state of things regarding my search for a diagnosis. It was a horrible experience because she sat there exuding self-confidence and I felt strongly that she had contempt and distaste for my life history while I explained things like stimming, special interests, social isolation, chaotic work history, social overload problems etc etc, She had a picture of her two young children on her desk which I felt may be OK for a business person to have on their desk but not for a psychiatrist, who is dealing with people who quite possibly DON'T have a happy family situation and quite possibly aren't functioning successfully in society, otherwise why would they be seeing a psychiatrist? At the end of the interview she did offer me an "Überweisung" for psychotherapy (I think one gets eight sessions, if you can actually find a therapist, which one usually can't) with the proviso that they wouldn't be able to tell me either if I had AS and that to be accepted for therapy I would need to show a willingness to change, which misses the point completely because what I was looking for was a professional opinion and not to be therapised at my age (I'm fifty-eight). I could write on and on and on about this topic so I'll end the post here.
Oh, kan du prata svenska? Jag kommer ifrån Borås (det ligger nära Göteborg). Vad var du lärare i när du jobbade i Malmö?
Anyway, that doesn't sound great. Before I started to read stuff in this forum and discuss things I thought going to a psychologist was something good and that most people have good experiences from doing so. I guess I was quite naive.
Jag var lärare i det engelska spraket. Den sista gangen jag pratade svenska är 22 ar sedan
. Tyvarr är mina kunskaper i det svenska spraket ganska rostig nu. För 22 ar sedan var de inte daliga. I hope that wasn't too ungrammatical.About the psychiatrist: she asked me what concrete problems I wanted help with, because I don't think medical people are interested in giving diagnoses except where it is relevant to some kind of sickness and cure. I suppose that is fair enough. I can't remember what exactly you have written in this thread up to now, but do you actually need HELP from a professional or are you just seeking self-knowledge? I think the psychiatrist was right in a way because I have learned in the course of my life that I have certain limits socially and am able to live within them so they don't really create problems. What I mean is that I spend most of my time alone but have a girlfriend and a few hours work a week so everything is ok. The question WHY that's about all I have been able to cope with socially only matters to myself and not from a treatment standpoint. When I was much younger and coming up against my limits all the time it was a different question. So unless you feel yourself to be not coping in some way maybe a diagnosis is out of place. By the time I came to see the psychiatrist I had already come to that conclusion anyway. For example, today I'm just sitting here on my own and I won't see anyone at all until I give an English lesson on Thursday afternoon. If I had to interact with someone for more than about 10 minutes in a social way I'd get exhausted and want to get away, but since I don't have to it's not a problem. If I felt bad about being like this it would be a problem too, but since I accept it it's not. My girlfriend accepts it too. She just tells me I'm autistic
.Well, I don't need help. Maybe socially. But I can cope with life. It's just that I feel really angry and frustrated a lot of the time because I fail socially (when it comes to meeting new people etc) and because I feel kind of left out. Like the odd one out. I have a few friends and I have a boyfriend but I don't like having to be angry and always feeling different. And I don't know why. That's why I'm even thinking about all of this. I have figured out that I probably have AS or have many of the traits but I guess I'm just "seeking self-knowledge" like you said. Confirmation and an explanation, you know.
20 Mar 2012, 4:09 pm
rebbieh wrote:
Question is, what is "a significant effect" ? I mean, how much do you have to think of/do something before it has a significant effect on your life? 
That is a very good question. If it is a real problem in your life then it is significant. For me, having to check I have locked the door a couple of times isn't really a problem. I might get an odd look if someone is picking me up and I have to get back out of their car to check the door but it doesn't really affect my life. Some people with OCD have to go through elaborate rituals just to function. That is a significant problem.
Quote:
I have figured out that I probably have AS or have many of the traits but I guess I'm just "seeking self-knowledge" like you said. Confirmation and an explanation, you know.
Indeed. Hopefully it will help you understand yourself a bit better. Some things you can work on improving and some you just have to accept. Either way it helps to understand what is going on.
20 Mar 2012, 4:31 pm
20 Mar 2012, 5:21 pm
20 Mar 2012, 5:25 pm
Halligeninseln wrote:
Reply to rebbieh's last post:
I think it's the same for me. Looking for confirmation. A diagnosis requires a medically relevant functional disorder I suppose.
As regards dysfunction in social situations and needing help I don't now have the negative emotional reactions I had earlier in life, when I would come away from social events feeling devastated and get severely depressed due to obsessive thoughts about social failures. I can remember what it used to feel like in a group situation. It was as if everybody else was so spontaneous and flowing and connected with each other whereas I was always struggling to get out of my own head and connect with them, so that instead of saying anything I would just worry about why I was such a terrible person who couldn't be spontaneous and warm and group oriented like that. Maybe a lot of people feel like that, though. Nowadays at my girlfriend's family gatherings people just accept that I sit there without saying anything and don't find it odd any more. She just puts it down to aspergers. In fact she's the one who keeps the question of AS alive by telling me all the time that I have it, although I quite possibly don't.
Sorry, going off at a tangent there. What I wanted to say before I went off at a tangent was that the depression caused by social failure would be a concrete problem that a doctor would be supposed to treat and if the social failure was due to AS then an AS diagnosis would be relevant. But if one is just a bit odd and maybe lives in a lighthouse doing maths on one's own and can't tie one's own shoelaces that wouldn't be a reason for a diagnosis even if the underlying cause was AS.
Another reason for wanting a diagnosis: When I was a young adult I sought and received medical help for social isolation and inability to form relationships but that was before anyone knew about AS. I suppose nowadays that would be one of the things a therapist would or should look into. I kind of feel that I need a retrospective diagnosis for very autistic-looking things in childhood too. So even if there are no acute problems in the present a person can still want a diagnosis for past crises/symptoms etc. simply because at that time AS wasn't a possible diagnosis and so has never been ruled out.
Sorry for rambling. Just thinking out loud. I doubt if what I've written adds much to the discussion.
I think it's the same for me. Looking for confirmation. A diagnosis requires a medically relevant functional disorder I suppose.
As regards dysfunction in social situations and needing help I don't now have the negative emotional reactions I had earlier in life, when I would come away from social events feeling devastated and get severely depressed due to obsessive thoughts about social failures. I can remember what it used to feel like in a group situation. It was as if everybody else was so spontaneous and flowing and connected with each other whereas I was always struggling to get out of my own head and connect with them, so that instead of saying anything I would just worry about why I was such a terrible person who couldn't be spontaneous and warm and group oriented like that. Maybe a lot of people feel like that, though. Nowadays at my girlfriend's family gatherings people just accept that I sit there without saying anything and don't find it odd any more. She just puts it down to aspergers. In fact she's the one who keeps the question of AS alive by telling me all the time that I have it, although I quite possibly don't.
Sorry, going off at a tangent there. What I wanted to say before I went off at a tangent was that the depression caused by social failure would be a concrete problem that a doctor would be supposed to treat and if the social failure was due to AS then an AS diagnosis would be relevant. But if one is just a bit odd and maybe lives in a lighthouse doing maths on one's own and can't tie one's own shoelaces that wouldn't be a reason for a diagnosis even if the underlying cause was AS.
Another reason for wanting a diagnosis: When I was a young adult I sought and received medical help for social isolation and inability to form relationships but that was before anyone knew about AS. I suppose nowadays that would be one of the things a therapist would or should look into. I kind of feel that I need a retrospective diagnosis for very autistic-looking things in childhood too. So even if there are no acute problems in the present a person can still want a diagnosis for past crises/symptoms etc. simply because at that time AS wasn't a possible diagnosis and so has never been ruled out.
Sorry for rambling. Just thinking out loud. I doubt if what I've written adds much to the discussion.
Yeah, I do that too. When I'm in a group of strangers I sit quietly and since I don't know what to say or how to act or how to show the correct emotions I just sit there and think about what a social failure I am. That's tough and it can certainly make me feel really sad sometimes.
I'm glad it's better for you at family gatherings nowadays. Must be nice not having to think too much about it
20 Mar 2012, 5:37 pm
The 'correct' emotions? Why bother? You won't make friends that way! If it's all just an act, what is the point? When people do find out, which they will, what then? Anybody who likes the acted version might not like the real one! Last post from me, I thought this was settled.
20 Mar 2012, 6:35 pm
BruceCM wrote:
The 'correct' emotions? Why bother? You won't make friends that way! If it's all just an act, what is the point? When people do find out, which they will, what then? Anybody who likes the acted version might not like the real one! Last post from me, I thought this was settled.
Never mind
20 Mar 2012, 7:29 pm
21 Mar 2012, 4:39 am
Might as well post here about my anxieties, then. To keep it brief, those are about what I have been clearly told, many times, relating to 'social rules'. Bizarrely, nobody seems able to make up their minds for a few seconds even as to whether you are supposed to go by those or not! Without writing a very thick book on the subject, however, I can't explain that, which is a large part of the problem, now. Just ranting, I guess. 
