I hate the word "please"

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i had a boss who never said "please" and i found her obnoxious. she just assumed i would do her high and mighty bidding without being treated respectfully.

i stayed over with my grandma when i was about 7. she told my mom she had never been "pleased and thankyou'd" so much in her life. i'm sure in my clueless aspieness i overdid it, but that's better than the opposite.

Actually, Teen Titans GO is better. Just my opinion.

And as such, moving on to the topic:



There is nothing to require anyone to say anything. Regardless of where you want the peas to be passed, different places do things differently. Words will come and go. What is used to replace an offending term today, becomes the offending term tomorrow.

And, when I have been in a position of managing a project, when I stop saying 'please' it's the definite sign to stop screwing around.
When you are in the middle of any cultural norm it's up to us to work with them or not.

In the work place, it's up to us to notify or not. If they are notified, then they can make additional adjustments. But, I really doubt they would change the way common words of politeness are used.

Try to think of it this way: You are trying to ban the use of something used to convey positive connotations. How far do you think that will go?

Anything positive can be used to harm anybody. It's the person using them, not the words.

"Would you mind" sounds too posh, the best formula is "Can you".
For example, "Can you give the peas?" sounds better than "Would you mind giving me the peas?"

Even here the debate about which words and how they are taken is a debatable issue. One set is too 'posh', another set is a mask for demands, another is habit......

There is and never will be a way of free speech that can accommodate this. To accomplish this would be to try to control thought and speech.

People may like this, or that, but not everybody will agree, and it will change region to region, country to country, culture to culture.

Some cultures have multiple ways of saying a lot of things, but no direct way to say some things like "I love you" in a romantic sense.

To state a preference is one thing. To expect others to go along with it is unrealistic.

Why not just drop all politeness? Seriously.

Because that suits you and a very, very small section of the populace.

Whatever you do or don't like doesn't matter to the world. The world operates on it's own terms. Either work within those terms, or not, your choice.

Which now begs the question, are we in this thread to vent about things we don't like? Or are we actually trying to decide which way is better?

If you're venting, then complain all you want. Give me a complete thread on things that bug me but really doesn't matter and I can vent with the best of them.

But, if you're trying to convince yourself, or others, that actually measuring up to society's rules and comport ourselves in that manner is not right, it's really moot.

"please" is a word i am used to hearing, and when i do not hear it, i start to think ill of the person who is soliciting my service, and that usually leads to complications, so it is better for me to hear the word "please" than to not hear it.

"please" is a word that serves as a lubricant to make more slippery my automatic resistance to whatever i see as a new problem.

Astute observation.

Complaining that you don't like the rules of politeness because it would suit you to be impolite is like complaining because public transport runs on a schedule that has nothing to do with your specific needs. You can rage against it and demand that the bus give you door to door service and be on call, but it's not going to happen. If you actually want to get somewhere by bus, you need to use the timetable and plan around it.

If you want to have positive interactions with others, better learn basic politeness.

Basic politeness rules are easy to follow, but social interaction is much more complex as it involves very subtle cues. Being unable to handle these cues means you are completely lost.

That is a false equivalency in that you can listen to cues given to you verbally. You can respond in basic rules.

people have to fit with me. i do not have to fit with them. they want to be in my company so they have to fit with me. otherwise they will not be accepted into my company.
it is as simple as that and it is not against the law to be so .....whatever

You are absolutely correct. And, may you find those very few people who will ever fit. But, if you want to actually be in the world and have some success, then good luck.

The key word there is "want". If you don't want to be in society and just give up, then good luck with that.

I tried to fit in and simply couldn't. I gave up. What else was I supposed to do?

i have enough friends to do me. they all fit in with me. there are 5 of them. i like them. beyond that i have no concern

How would I or anybody here know what you should do? We are not you.



Then you should be a happy camper.