Asperger to be sent to jail for 70 years - Pentagon

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One thing in common in that book of Jewish mythology and poetry and all those other traditions from other cultures.

The aliens used to be around all the time, getting involved in human affairs. It was fairly routine. But nowadays they don't show up too often except for selectively abducting whackjobs.

Unless you're a mormon, of course, where they got a guy who talks to god all the time and god always tells him whatever happens to be fashionable this week on the political right.

Back in Bible times, prophets were always pissing off the rich and powerful, but god switched sides.

Actually, in mormon theology, god's literally an extraterrestrial, since he used to be a regular human being on some other planet, but since he was such a good mormon there, he got promoted to god. The missionaries sometimes forget to mention this.

But I better shut up about that, since if I don't pretend I think the mormon church is wonderful, somebody who figured out how to grow tits might claim they're being abused and the feminists will punish me by beating up my daughters again.

So assuming Jesus doesn't actually sneak into polling places to vote Republican, how come the aliens used to come around all the time but now they hardly ever do?

One possibility comes to mind. They set us up to be an improv comedy show and now they're just watching.