What does eye contact actually do to you?

Post Reply New Topic

Ahhhh. I considered 'no reaction' to be something in a way.

But I now also see why nothing can be considered nothing too. If that makes sense to anybody but me now haha


Then I guess I'll elaborate on when it did something to me:

I gave no eye-contact until a few years ago because I didn't know. Then I learnt about autism and later AS and started trying to give eye-contact. I felt grossed out by eyes somehow.

Even when they were pretty, had pretty colours for example, my brain announced that it was gross. I don't know why. It was just as if I was looking at something really disgusting and ugly, even when I found the colours and shape to be pretty. Strange?

Occasionally I still think so, when I think about eyes and eye-contact consciously. Most of the time though now, I don't have any reaction to eye-contact that I'd be aware of.

My eyes are the window to my being.. so I only give eye contact with those I trust unles I realy have to... most people get a bit fraked out when I use it though.

I find that too sometimes. I either have to look or think mainly.

I can manage a little bit of eye contact, like look up and then quickly down again,
but prolonged eye contact makes me dizzy and makes my stomach turn and everything gets a bit wavy around me, like I have to hold on to something if I'm standing.

At one point when I was sixteen I read somewhere that people like eye contact as it make them feel you're really taking in what they're saying to you (and thus you're more attractive in a mental sense), so I tried it out, but in the end the wavy/dizzy/flippy stuff wasn't worth it.

Yes. that makes sense : )

It kills my ability to focus on what the other person is actually saying. If I'm making eye contact, I'm not listening; I just think that the person's eyes look cool.

I guess cringe would be the closest of the options. I feel sorta invaded by the person I am making the eye contact with. i am very fortunate in that my closest friends don't make eye contact either.

For me, I'd say "It depends." When I'm with people I know or am comfortable with, it's not an issue for me. However, I can be easily distracted by sounds so I wonder sometimes if they feel I'm ignoring them when I look away for the source of the sound. Sometimes I also worry I give too much eye contact because I'm trying to take in everything they say.

Eye contact with people I don't know tends to make me self-conscious, so my gaze tends to dart around somewhat. Sometimes when I'm looking around (I like to take in what's around me) I'll make eye contact with someone unintentionally and I instinctively look away. Most of the time, though, it's not really an issue.

i voted "nothing" but then i thought about it. eye contact does not affect me much, but it does a bit in some ways.

firstly, i do not seek to look at peoples eyes because there is nothing there that adds to the information they are telling me. people know i am listening to them without me looking at their eyes.

the people i have known for a long time would get freaked out if i suddenly started to gaze at their eyes while i was talking (or if they were talking).
it would be totally out of character. they like me to be the way i am.

but new people who have never met me before possibly think something about why i do not look at their eyes.

if i am in conversation and someone demands for me to look at them (they mean their eyes), i try, but it feels like i am looking at sunlight or something and i start to blink rapidly and my eyes start to feel sore and dry very quickly. i guess i do not know what i am supposed to see there. (police pulling me over sometimes demand i look at their eyes)

--------------------------------------

not related to any of the above is that i went to my local corner shop (it is not that close (about 5 mins drive(but it is closer than woolworths and i did not need to go there))) tonight as i do about 4 nights per week.

there is a girl there who is the only person in the shop and she is at the checkout.
she always is very pleasant and asks how i am.
i always say "good" and wait for her to ring my stuff up and bag it and then i pay and i put the money on the counter and she picks it up and and wishes me a good night.

i have noticed out the "corner" of my eye that her face is very happy and she looks at me maybe as if she wants me to look back at her face and eyes.
tonight i did for a little bit (about 3 seconds).

she seemed to suddenly get much friendlier as i walked out.

i hope that when i go there next, she does not expect me to be different than i always am. i do not know why she got happier when i looked at her, and whatever reason it was must be incorrect because i did not change my thoughts in any way as i looked at her eyes. she must have imagined something and i am not good at handling peoples imaginations.

so that is another reason i do not like eye contact. it is because when i give some eye contact, sometimes they react too much and i do not know how to proceed with that. i do not want to be rude to anyone.

but generally, i never think to look at peoples eyes because i have never benefitted from it, and it is not wired into my "reward" system.

Neither to me. I haven't got any problems with eye contact.

Though I remember that I as a kid asked my mother why she looked at me when she talked to me / why you were supposed to look at the one you talked to. It was not because I found it unpleasant, just unnecessary - why look at each other when you can hear what is said, you don't listen with the eyes after all?
But later I understood why, and it became natural. (BTW don't remember what my mother answered anyway. )
On the other hand, I tend not to notice or be bothered when it's another one that doesn't make eye contact with me. Maybe a kind of aspie thing.

I can do it but it makes it much harder for me to concentrate on what I'm trying to say. So, I tend to look away when talking but look at the person when they're talking and it's not my turn to speak.

All I can tell you is that it's too intense and generates anxiety, so I guess I'll pick fear.

Also, I can't understand what someone is saying as well when looking at them. I can't formulate my thoughts as well when looking at them. I do pretty good eye contact though. I just force myself to suffer through it.

I look in the eyes less when I'm talking than when the other person is talking.

Eye fix topic

For me, it is my looking that has people fearful, perhaps due to my stare. However, I practice the three second rule, nod my head and look somewhere else. I have disliked looking at men's eyes, as they have taken it the wrong way, and I would rather not explain anything.

Indeed.

It makes me awkward and fearful.
Too much from me or them? Creepy. Not enough? Shifty. And catch someone's eye and freak, looking away quickly? Very cringe inducing. I ignore the strangers approaching me self consciously until we are actually about to pass one another, give them a quick look then ignore them again. It's cumbersome, but I don't know what else to do.

Sometimes I'll ignore someone or alternatively I'll get caught appearing to stare, and it's a very weird moment. Happened today at work when I was retuning for another load of books to shelve and someone else was near my line of sight. I think I may return to always looking at my feet now.

I agree with a lot of things here.

I can make quick eye contact, but mainly focus on the mouth, nose, eyebrows and such. I try to stay animated or moving a little bit (like I'm thinking about what they're saying) so they don't notice I'm not looking at them.

But when I do... I can't think. Like a deer caught in headlights.... My visual flow of thoughts stop and whirl around the person's face--their eyes... and my thoughts come to a crashing halt. It does feel a little like vertigo, or a sudden free-fall jump. But i don't get nauseous... I just forget where I am in conversation and am usually rambling about until I regain my bearings.

I can, however, make great eye contact when I am pissed off and yelling at someone.

Also, with people I love. I enjoy putting my head close to theirs and staring into their eyes from that distance.

IDK.