Hearing things wrong...

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My list of things I misheard as something funny:

1. My neighbor is a former monk.
I heard "My neighbor is a former moth".

2. Remain seated for now.
I heard "And read the bible as well".

3. I had my best friend over.
I heard "I plowed my best friend under".

4. It has great aesthetic beauty.
I heard "It has great anesthetic meat".

Yes, the words I hear are not necessarily the words that are spoken, and frequently I have to suppress a laugh when my mind scrambles up a word that I know is so off the wall that it can't possibly belong in the conversation. Many times, though, I'm not aware that I'm hearing the words incorrectly and won't discover it until someone makes a remark that I'm not paying attention or that I'm trying to change the subject.