16 Dec 2009, 11:18 am
Klom, I noticed nobody replied to your post so I decided to bump a somewhat old thread because I can relate to some of your issues. Perhaps you will be notified by email or something. Note that I have been diagnosed with semantic pragmatic disorder, not Asperger's Syndrome. A large part of your problems I personally would just put down to eccentricity rather than a specific diagnosis. Note that I am no psychologist and that I would recommend you take this reply as a suggestion, not so much a diagnosis. I would suggest you look into semantic pragmatic disorder just to see what it is and whether you feel you can identify it. It is not necessarily you and a lot of the criteria for it you have not mentioned. Please take what I say with a pinch of salt basically.
Klom wrote:
Okay, I'll join in on this thread for you to evaluate me. I am going to see a doctor when my teacher gets around to do it, but I would be happy to see what you guys think.
Issues:
Extreme forgetfulness. I forget jackets, keys, whatever all over. I can forget that I am holding an object if my mind wanders, and then go search for it.
This kind of thing happens to me all the time. I have lost expensive things such as laptops etc. This way.
Clumsiness. Always been clumsy. Bumping into things and dropping things. I was really bad in my dancing classes. I couldn't replicate all those movements. Let alone remember them.
I can be and I can't be. I have rubbish hand-eye co-ordination which means I find it difficult to catch, play darts effectively, things like this. On the other hand maybe the issue is just because I haven't tried to hone in on these skills. I also have difficulty with dancing but I am fairly athletic and I have been told many times that I make a good gymnast by sports teachers, etc. I also do snowboarding, surfing, other 'extreme' sports. I usually walk in an s-shape when I am daydreaming though, wandering from one side of the corridor to the other. This can be a little dangerous when walking on a pavement right next to a busy road!
Initially bad social skills. I was pretty geeky before, and I still have certain issues. I can talk about relationship emotions. My logical mind shuts down I'm just quiet. Eventually I speak complete bull****. I would say and do the wrong things, and I still do it a lot. I just don't do it as often and care so much about it. That way I've handled this pretty well.
I have bad social skills full stop. Most of what I say is completely nonsense as well. I will talk about the same random nonsense for 5 mins. Sometimes I actually just don't talk to people at all because I know I have nothing real to talk about and don't wish to embarass myself. People will think it is because I am shy but little do they know...Eventually I try to talk to people because I have a strong desire to be more sociable and make more friends but it never works and I can't help but get the impression people do not like me and I pick up and suggestions that they do not really want me to hang around them. I always feel like I am being clingy when I knock about with people. Not to go off on a tangent or anything I am just trying to explain my exact problems to you to see if it is something that you can relate to. I say and do the wrong things a fair bit myself. The thing is I believe myself to have an average or above average ability to understand about social conventions unlike someone with Asperger's Syndrome. I understand for instance that if a woman asks you if she looks fat she is not looking for an honest opinion (just as an example). The thing is I often know as I am saying something if it is the wrong thing or I realise straight afterwards its the wrong thing but it is not something I can correct because it is sometimes hard to think of the right thing. Also as part of my attempt to be sociable I will say the wrong thing anyway because I am just trying to say something even if it is not what it is I am expected to say. Not sure if that makes much sense. One friend has said I can be like a bit of a dork or something when it comes to people but I don't know whether it's a word that best suits my personality. Or maybe it is.
School problems due to not doing my homework. 'Nuff said. I didn't do it. It could possibly be because of executive dysfunction. I just forget it. And when I start, my mind just wanders!
Not really sure if this has to do with anything other than just being plain lazy but I can get pretty similar about all of this. My mind wanders all the time as well - that could be relevant to some sort of disorder or SPD, even. I have heard people with AS tend to be pretty one track minded though.
School problems due to not being able to get up in the morning.
Last year my dad woke me up every day. Which lead to exessive daytime fatigue. In the nights I would lie awake, thinking or read about my interests. I was nicknamed for my sleepiness at elementary school.
Interesting enough this more or less describes me as well. But I don't think it has anything to do with any disorder. I don't lie awake at night very often, just have extreme difficulty waking up. How often do you lie awake? Do you possible have insomnia (if you simply can't get to sleep). Again don't take my suggestion too seriously or anything.
Depression attacks(?) for a day or so at a time - I got this a couple of times. Not anymore, LUCKILY! It feels as if all the
happiness in the world ceases to enter my mind, I am just a shell of terror! Monthy Python's Meaning of Life made me depressed. Drugs were the only way out. Thought about going around with a couple of emergency valium just in case.. At the age of like 16-17. No good!
I can't relate to this actually. I don't think it would have anything to do with AS though.
Depressive periods. I have had a couple of existential depressions. Feels HORRIBLE. Not as bad as the depression attacks, but lasted longer.
Again cannot relate
Paranoia for diseases. I was completely and utterly sure that I had mad cow disease when I was about 12. I thought that I wouldn't be 13. I remember lying in my bed cold-sweating and being terrified of this. A couple of years earlier, a teacher told us that we'd get aids if we had sex. Retrospectively I think that he must've been kidding(young, joking type of guy). I got terrified. After all I had masturbated, which causes the same mechanisms in the body as sex.. Which leads me to my next point:
The paranoia I don't feel I relate to but the misunderstanding of your teacher's meaning is something I can. This actually has to do with auditory processing disorder(which is a part of both SPD and AS). It can be difficult to understand what somebody means when they are talking a lot. The vaster amount of information you are trying to process and the more people talking in theback ground the more increasingly difficult it becomes. It can be mistaken for deafness and I, like many others with SPD, was tested for a hearing loss at an early age, but found to have normal hearing.
I am extremely secretive about certain things. I think it is because I don't want other people to worry, or think badly of me. I have never told anybody of this paranoia. Luckily, it's gone now. There are other topics I won't tell anybody about either (my interest in dating/relationship-stuff for example)
Yes I can be quite secretive actually and worried if I divulge too much into personal information it may come back on me an unpleasant way. but whether there is a diagnosis that fits this or whether it is just simply paranoia I don't know.
I absolutely HATE noisy places. My former job was hell. I dislike shopping malls. At first I get nervous and stressed, then I get burned out.
This is something that doesn't really bother me actually but I have heard a lot of people with both AS (and possibly SPD) have these issues.
The positive things in my life I possibly attribute to AS
I get extremely absorbed in things. I had an interest in stones when I was a kid. Knew the names of the different kinds and could sit around looking at them and searching for pretty ones for hours. (Luckily
) I'm no longer interested in stones, but my intense and strange interests continue. Things as drugs, nutrition, singing technique, science and so forth has been longer term intense(/consuming) interests. I also have short term intense interests such as web programming, C++, japanese, spanish, computer games. I play for maaaany hours and can wait to play more, so I play, play, play,/read, read, read.... And onto another strange thing: I just quit. (The short term interests)
Wow I totally relate to the short term interest thing. I get very interested in things and actually get quite good at them but then just quit just like that. Part of the reason is though is that sometimes I have so many things that I'm interested in I do have to drop some of them but sometimes it is just because I get bored.
People consider me to be smart.
I have strong emotional responses to smells and sounds. I have a certain degree of synesthesia. I see colors and shapes when I hear music and smell things.
Synthaesia is a seperate condition from any diagnosis actually. As for strong emotional responses not sure if thats me or not. Sometimes I react strongly to a loud unpleasant sound without actually meaning to. My friend once sneezed so loudly and I shouted 'Aaah' because it took me by surprise. People who sneak up on me and say boo often find the same result.
So what is your conviction. These are the issues I have/have had. I'm not thinking in terms of AS now, to get me out of that self-diagnostic head-space.
I have no conviction for you. In my opinion it would be hard to tell what you have even if I were some sort of professional because this is the internet and I have no idea of knowing how accurate your description of yourself is (you may not have intentionally been misleading but you may have subconsciously exaggerated your difficulties because you believe that there is something 'wrong' with you. You may also have missed points that could give a clearer indication as to a specific diagnosis.) I have suggested you look into semantic pragmatic disorder just because some of the traits you have described are similar to my own behaviour but this could just be an eccentric personality thing. Read this; http://www.hyperlexia.org/sp1.html - it has a good description about the disorder. see if you can relate to it. It might be worth going to see a doctor but remember a proper diagnosis could take 6 months and you would have to see a psychologist or psychiatrist or someone for tests. It will probably be expensive as well if you don't have a free national health service like I do. Only really consider this if it is something that really effects your life. I hope the information i have given you only brings you help. I would also ask that you do not overread into this; many people convince themselves that they have some sort of disorder after reading information online when really they are just eccentric characters.
The main reason why I'd like a diagnosis is to get teachers to understand me. But ****! Can't they understand my issues (sensory and executive) without me having to get a diagnosis. It would alse ease my mind to know what caused this.. even though the diagnosis is just symptomatic and I really wouldn't learn more about me from it.
Do you feel have learning difficulties associated with SPD, e.g. auditory processing disorder, hyperlexia? If so perhaps you could get an assessment from an educational psychologist that proves you have these and that you need time to process information. You could tell your teachers that you have this and probably have SPD (if this turns out to be the case) and it may force them to understand but keep in mind that some teachers, even if you have a known diagnosis, are just too conventional in their ideas and just not willing to accept things like learning difficulties or to try and accomodate to them, unfortunately.
Thanks for reading. x)
PS: I am also chronically late. Another important thing to note is that my secrecy kept me from telling this to the shrinks I've seen. I can have mental conversations where I tell them all these things, but I can not seem to make myself actually do it. I also forget to bring it up. I really hate those one-on-one conversations with authority people too(shrinks, teachers, doctors). I can't find anywhere to focus and I get lost in my own thoughts and can't really focus on what they're saying.
Not opening up to people (mainly people who are close to you in your life or professionals) has been an issue I have had and have had to learn to work around it. It is mainly an issue of secrecy and embarassment. I would not recommend you open up too much to people not so close to you as it can be dangerous for certain people to have knowledge of information to personal. I hate one-on-one conversations with authority people as well. I have had to develop coping strategies. I just dislike being asked personal questions and hate having to answer them.
PSPS: I used to separate my time into interest-intense asocial periods and social periods, when I would be with friends. I don't have the option to do this now, as I live at my school.
Issues:
Extreme forgetfulness. I forget jackets, keys, whatever all over. I can forget that I am holding an object if my mind wanders, and then go search for it.
This kind of thing happens to me all the time. I have lost expensive things such as laptops etc. This way.
Clumsiness. Always been clumsy. Bumping into things and dropping things. I was really bad in my dancing classes. I couldn't replicate all those movements. Let alone remember them.
I can be and I can't be. I have rubbish hand-eye co-ordination which means I find it difficult to catch, play darts effectively, things like this. On the other hand maybe the issue is just because I haven't tried to hone in on these skills. I also have difficulty with dancing but I am fairly athletic and I have been told many times that I make a good gymnast by sports teachers, etc. I also do snowboarding, surfing, other 'extreme' sports. I usually walk in an s-shape when I am daydreaming though, wandering from one side of the corridor to the other. This can be a little dangerous when walking on a pavement right next to a busy road!
Initially bad social skills. I was pretty geeky before, and I still have certain issues. I can talk about relationship emotions. My logical mind shuts down I'm just quiet. Eventually I speak complete bull****. I would say and do the wrong things, and I still do it a lot. I just don't do it as often and care so much about it. That way I've handled this pretty well.
I have bad social skills full stop. Most of what I say is completely nonsense as well. I will talk about the same random nonsense for 5 mins. Sometimes I actually just don't talk to people at all because I know I have nothing real to talk about and don't wish to embarass myself. People will think it is because I am shy but little do they know...Eventually I try to talk to people because I have a strong desire to be more sociable and make more friends but it never works and I can't help but get the impression people do not like me and I pick up and suggestions that they do not really want me to hang around them. I always feel like I am being clingy when I knock about with people. Not to go off on a tangent or anything I am just trying to explain my exact problems to you to see if it is something that you can relate to. I say and do the wrong things a fair bit myself. The thing is I believe myself to have an average or above average ability to understand about social conventions unlike someone with Asperger's Syndrome. I understand for instance that if a woman asks you if she looks fat she is not looking for an honest opinion (just as an example). The thing is I often know as I am saying something if it is the wrong thing or I realise straight afterwards its the wrong thing but it is not something I can correct because it is sometimes hard to think of the right thing. Also as part of my attempt to be sociable I will say the wrong thing anyway because I am just trying to say something even if it is not what it is I am expected to say. Not sure if that makes much sense. One friend has said I can be like a bit of a dork or something when it comes to people but I don't know whether it's a word that best suits my personality. Or maybe it is.
School problems due to not doing my homework. 'Nuff said. I didn't do it. It could possibly be because of executive dysfunction. I just forget it. And when I start, my mind just wanders!
Not really sure if this has to do with anything other than just being plain lazy but I can get pretty similar about all of this. My mind wanders all the time as well - that could be relevant to some sort of disorder or SPD, even. I have heard people with AS tend to be pretty one track minded though.
School problems due to not being able to get up in the morning.
Last year my dad woke me up every day. Which lead to exessive daytime fatigue. In the nights I would lie awake, thinking or read about my interests. I was nicknamed for my sleepiness at elementary school.
Interesting enough this more or less describes me as well. But I don't think it has anything to do with any disorder. I don't lie awake at night very often, just have extreme difficulty waking up. How often do you lie awake? Do you possible have insomnia (if you simply can't get to sleep). Again don't take my suggestion too seriously or anything.
Depression attacks(?) for a day or so at a time - I got this a couple of times. Not anymore, LUCKILY! It feels as if all the
happiness in the world ceases to enter my mind, I am just a shell of terror! Monthy Python's Meaning of Life made me depressed. Drugs were the only way out. Thought about going around with a couple of emergency valium just in case.. At the age of like 16-17. No good!
I can't relate to this actually. I don't think it would have anything to do with AS though.
Depressive periods. I have had a couple of existential depressions. Feels HORRIBLE. Not as bad as the depression attacks, but lasted longer.
Again cannot relate
Paranoia for diseases. I was completely and utterly sure that I had mad cow disease when I was about 12. I thought that I wouldn't be 13. I remember lying in my bed cold-sweating and being terrified of this. A couple of years earlier, a teacher told us that we'd get aids if we had sex. Retrospectively I think that he must've been kidding(young, joking type of guy). I got terrified. After all I had masturbated, which causes the same mechanisms in the body as sex.. Which leads me to my next point:
The paranoia I don't feel I relate to but the misunderstanding of your teacher's meaning is something I can. This actually has to do with auditory processing disorder(which is a part of both SPD and AS). It can be difficult to understand what somebody means when they are talking a lot. The vaster amount of information you are trying to process and the more people talking in theback ground the more increasingly difficult it becomes. It can be mistaken for deafness and I, like many others with SPD, was tested for a hearing loss at an early age, but found to have normal hearing.
I am extremely secretive about certain things. I think it is because I don't want other people to worry, or think badly of me. I have never told anybody of this paranoia. Luckily, it's gone now. There are other topics I won't tell anybody about either (my interest in dating/relationship-stuff for example)
Yes I can be quite secretive actually and worried if I divulge too much into personal information it may come back on me an unpleasant way. but whether there is a diagnosis that fits this or whether it is just simply paranoia I don't know.
I absolutely HATE noisy places. My former job was hell. I dislike shopping malls. At first I get nervous and stressed, then I get burned out.
This is something that doesn't really bother me actually but I have heard a lot of people with both AS (and possibly SPD) have these issues.
The positive things in my life I possibly attribute to AS
I get extremely absorbed in things. I had an interest in stones when I was a kid. Knew the names of the different kinds and could sit around looking at them and searching for pretty ones for hours. (Luckily
) I'm no longer interested in stones, but my intense and strange interests continue. Things as drugs, nutrition, singing technique, science and so forth has been longer term intense(/consuming) interests. I also have short term intense interests such as web programming, C++, japanese, spanish, computer games. I play for maaaany hours and can wait to play more, so I play, play, play,/read, read, read.... And onto another strange thing: I just quit. (The short term interests)Wow I totally relate to the short term interest thing. I get very interested in things and actually get quite good at them but then just quit just like that. Part of the reason is though is that sometimes I have so many things that I'm interested in I do have to drop some of them but sometimes it is just because I get bored.
People consider me to be smart.
I have strong emotional responses to smells and sounds. I have a certain degree of synesthesia. I see colors and shapes when I hear music and smell things.
Synthaesia is a seperate condition from any diagnosis actually. As for strong emotional responses not sure if thats me or not. Sometimes I react strongly to a loud unpleasant sound without actually meaning to. My friend once sneezed so loudly and I shouted 'Aaah' because it took me by surprise. People who sneak up on me and say boo often find the same result.
So what is your conviction. These are the issues I have/have had. I'm not thinking in terms of AS now, to get me out of that self-diagnostic head-space.
I have no conviction for you. In my opinion it would be hard to tell what you have even if I were some sort of professional because this is the internet and I have no idea of knowing how accurate your description of yourself is (you may not have intentionally been misleading but you may have subconsciously exaggerated your difficulties because you believe that there is something 'wrong' with you. You may also have missed points that could give a clearer indication as to a specific diagnosis.) I have suggested you look into semantic pragmatic disorder just because some of the traits you have described are similar to my own behaviour but this could just be an eccentric personality thing. Read this; http://www.hyperlexia.org/sp1.html - it has a good description about the disorder. see if you can relate to it. It might be worth going to see a doctor but remember a proper diagnosis could take 6 months and you would have to see a psychologist or psychiatrist or someone for tests. It will probably be expensive as well if you don't have a free national health service like I do. Only really consider this if it is something that really effects your life. I hope the information i have given you only brings you help. I would also ask that you do not overread into this; many people convince themselves that they have some sort of disorder after reading information online when really they are just eccentric characters.
The main reason why I'd like a diagnosis is to get teachers to understand me. But ****! Can't they understand my issues (sensory and executive) without me having to get a diagnosis. It would alse ease my mind to know what caused this.. even though the diagnosis is just symptomatic and I really wouldn't learn more about me from it.
Do you feel have learning difficulties associated with SPD, e.g. auditory processing disorder, hyperlexia? If so perhaps you could get an assessment from an educational psychologist that proves you have these and that you need time to process information. You could tell your teachers that you have this and probably have SPD (if this turns out to be the case) and it may force them to understand but keep in mind that some teachers, even if you have a known diagnosis, are just too conventional in their ideas and just not willing to accept things like learning difficulties or to try and accomodate to them, unfortunately.
Thanks for reading. x)
PS: I am also chronically late. Another important thing to note is that my secrecy kept me from telling this to the shrinks I've seen. I can have mental conversations where I tell them all these things, but I can not seem to make myself actually do it. I also forget to bring it up. I really hate those one-on-one conversations with authority people too(shrinks, teachers, doctors). I can't find anywhere to focus and I get lost in my own thoughts and can't really focus on what they're saying.
Not opening up to people (mainly people who are close to you in your life or professionals) has been an issue I have had and have had to learn to work around it. It is mainly an issue of secrecy and embarassment. I would not recommend you open up too much to people not so close to you as it can be dangerous for certain people to have knowledge of information to personal. I hate one-on-one conversations with authority people as well. I have had to develop coping strategies. I just dislike being asked personal questions and hate having to answer them.
PSPS: I used to separate my time into interest-intense asocial periods and social periods, when I would be with friends. I don't have the option to do this now, as I live at my school.
16 Dec 2009, 1:22 pm
