Hector wrote:
Just flat-out "ending" a friendship is a really uncomfortable thing to have to put up with and should generally be avoided. Drifting apart is fine, telling people "it's over" is generally not. The only exception is if your "friend" poses a serious threat to your well-being, e.g. they put you in severe pressure to take hard drugs, or they beat you.
A lot of other people like to say things and make drama. You don't have to, and that's good, but you're actually creating more drama than you need in whole-heartedly shunning friendship over something small.
Just one month shy of three years ago, somebody from this website had decided to flat out end his relationship with me. He told me that it was over, that the bus had stopped. (I was really obsessed with Routemasters back in those days). ThatI was being unresponsive to the extreamley blunt PM that he sent me. (I don't respond to such bluntness). That it was over and than he swuggested the many things that I could do to improve myself, such as seeing a shrink and taking social skills training. I went into a downward spiral into a black area. I've started to wear leather and started spiking my hair up. I've turned against everything that I believe in, which is all of this in a nutshell. (The 60s, The Kinks. It's all about Swinging London, Carnaby Street and Routemasters!). That guy had the nerve to tell me that the Punk Rocker thing was due to a personality disorder and that it wasn't really me, and to see a shrink to get it sorted out. He also said that he was not implying that I be normal. (That was the thing that made me turn against the high and mighty ways of mainstream society). I went from being a society girl who liked the 60s, to being a bitter and cynical punk. The worse part is that this guy had the nerve to flame me on the message boards, and he implied that I was a spastic freak, back in the very late May of 2007, my first year of blackness and punkishness. In the UK, spastic is a really bad synonym for ret*d.
I'm in a much better place, now. If you could actually see me, you'd see this Mod who's built the same way that Mick Avory was, sitting behind those drums, in that black and white avatar from that picture, that was taken in early 1965. I got rid of the glasses that I didn't even need, in the first place, and I'm listening to The Kinks and the other British performers from that time. I'm the tomboyish society girl who's back into the 60s, like I was before that all happened.
That's why I agree that you don't end a friendship with anybody, in the manner that was mentioned and highlighted above, because you'll just never know how sensitive the person on the other side of the screen or phone line might be. This guy chose the wrong person to end a friendship with.
I wish that I could just go back to 07, 08 and a good chunk of 09, and change the way that I've reacted, and just be myself, as I am, now. The Punk Rocker thing didn't work for me, from the beginning and I was too blind to see that.
What's done is done.
No more looking back.
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The Family Schlager
21 Dec 2009, 9:33 am
