Private life: Why do people get upset when you don't divulge

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when I was single people used to ask me about relationships,then when I got married, they asked me about having kids, it never ends.
People are nosy and no matter what you do you are never gonna keep them happy.
By the way I just had my first baby and people are already asking me if I'm gonna have more.

Yeah, what's with that? People did that to me, too. I was still physically exhausted and traumatized by the first pregnancy/childbirth, and wondering if my infant would ever get the hang of nursing, or learn to sleep like every other baby. Not to mention the fact that we lived in a 900 square foot apartment, and there wouldn't have been space for a second kid. (Not that our new house is much bigger, at 1200 sq feet.) I can't imagine why people would even consider the possibility that I'd be thinking of getting pregnant again. I eventually did get pregnant again, but not until my first was three years old.

I hope you are enjoying your new baby.

sometimes when people asked me about my personal life, I thought back and realized they told me something about their intimate life and me, not giving a hoot, just turned it into to talk compost but they wanted me to reciprocate with telling about some of my intimate life. When I didn't they felt cheated, like I had something on them and I left them hanging.

I don't think a lot of people have he same feelings of privacy some of the rest of us do.

Well, whatever they think, they should keep it to themselves. I'\e had to deal with enough backstabbing relatives and co-workers that lead to me not trusting anyone. It also seems to me that most people can't keep the confidential info of another purpose for the life of them. I've known people who I've said private things to in my younger years who literally told other people.....right in front of me too! I would never imagine divulging something that another person wants to be kept confidential. Apparently I was like this with people's secrets as a child as well. My mom swears that she would tell me confidential things and I would never tell anyone. I'm still like that.

Here is what I don't like:


People ask me a question, I answer it. I ask them the same question back, they say it's personal.

Okay, if some things are personal, why ask other people about it if you don't want to answer it yourself?

It be like me going around asking someone if they have miscarried if I don't want to answer it myself. They could ask me the same question back.

I never understood why some people do this.

Sometimes I wonder if keeping things confidential might have something to do with a person's education level. I've known gossipy educated people too, but it seems that in academia they don't get very far. The top dogs can usually keep secrets.......perhaps that's why they got to be top dogs and the gossipy ones relegated to the realm of the TA for eternity. How can you trust a gossipy person to not divulge details about the department's finances and the politics of recruiting new professors, etc., not to mention the sensitive info of students who may come to you with their personal problems.
I imagine that in order to become top dog in the business world, you also have to follow a similar rule.

ive had some guy ask me one right after the other, where do you live, how far is it, what rounte you take, whats your address and what type of stuff do you have. Withiut taking abreatdth, needless to say I didnt answer any of them

UGH. I know, I hate when they ask me about relationship stuff.
Unfortunately/fortunatelyI have never had a boyfriend or anything like that (unfortunately because sometimes I felt lonely when I see other couples, but fortunately because I don't think Id be able to handle it, or I know it would only be temporary) but people have always asked me who I liked, or who I thought was cute.
The first time I actually told someone, they told everyone in school, and the person I liked then started avoiding me. And the first time I told somebody was actually also the last time I told somebody... Since I have a horrible habit of being attracted to someone who is either really popular and all when I am a loser or someone who is the "loser" and I am one of the average people...
Also when people ask me what my interests are... and I am forced to lie... since they would about 90% of the time find my interests to be odd or unusual for someone my age and gender.

Back when I was single and never had a boyfriend before, people kept asking me why don't I have a boyfriend because I was pretty. I never wanted to say it was because I have Asperger's and I knew that was the main reason why but instead I said it was because I'm shy to meet people and not one man asked me out or wanted me when I was in school. That was true.

This seems to be true. Also, higher educated people seems less motivated to divulge things about themselves, presumably because they know better that such things can be used against them. I wouldn't know about most of my professors whether they're married or not, or what their political or religious views are, though we do talk "shop" a lot.

That and intimate details = intimate relationship.

You're comfortable divulging details to someone you have a close relationship with. So, if you won't tell them, you are saying that they aren't close enough to you that you want them knowing such details about you.

They get offended because maybe they feel they should be closer to you and you just made it clear that you don't regard them as such.

Some people are quite nosey and feel they need to know everything about someone else's business. I never enquired about someone's relationship status/sexuality when I was in school/college/work. I only tended to find out they were with someone if said person came along to a social event or was mentioned in casual conversation.

Extended family members/friends of the family can be the worst for asking, or psychiatrist/psychologist type people. For others, I think asking may come out of their own insecurities. I don't like being put in the spotlight when it comes to this subject.

I think generally it just boils down to you're not giving them the information they want and they are upset they are not getting what they want.