The Greatest Freakout Ever.

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I agree with you!! ! Bullying is not something to be tolerated even in mild form. I think if I had kids I wouldn't even let them use mild put downs like loser or eejit. Then again, I am very sensitive.

Well, I definitely try to discourage it but it is hard when it is going non-stop. As a parent, you definitely have to pick your battles. I always try to deter it into something positive.

I won't allow it to go on non-stop, and try not to really distinguish between the 2 children, mainly because even though my son is autistic, he starts a lot of the stuff or keeps it going purposefully.

It's kind of like... well, if I am around someone for a long period of time, after a while everything gets on my nerves that they do... and after a while, I will comment or say things about it, to let them know it's annoying. Well, with the kids, they can't just move into another house, or walk off out the door to get away from it for a while. They are quite literally stuck with one another for a long time, so the bickering back and forth could simply be that one isn't intentionally doing a thing at all to bother the other, but the other is just annoyed so it turns into an instant fight.

When we go places, for the most part it stops. It gets them out, gives them more stuff to focus on rather than nit picking at one another or getting one another riled up out of pure boredom.

Now, if my daughter was actually bullying... or my son was bullying-like put downs and all that stuff... As soon as name calling is introduced, they are both in trouble usually (because of course it goes back and forth as soon as it happens), or hitting or anything of that nature starts up, mommy won't put up with that... and it's definitely a big no-no to do it to other people... basically that kind of stuff stays in the house and doesn't go far beyond that at all, and in the house, I'm constantly trying to introduce new ideas of things they could do separately or together to keep it at a minimum... but that only works to some extent. It's still almost non-stop even from separate rooms. "Mom! She is making a noise while playing her game in her room that is bothering me!" (while making super loud screeching noises when he is playing his own game at the same time).

But the other stuff... is just them being stuck with one another and getting frustrated or just looking for reasons to be annoyed or annoying.

Does that make sense?

By the way, I'm sorry if I hit a nerve with my post-I didn't mean it in the sense of like "well, kids will be kids-they can do whatever", but more of... there is only so much of it that you can stop, some of it is going to keep on just because they are constantly together in the same house. In my house, if I literally stepped into every single argument they have over things, they would both be grounded until they are 18, haha.

But I can also tell when one of them is doing something that is genuinely causing a lot of distress and always step in and try to redirect it... and if that doesn't work, I separate them. But as you can see from my example above, even separating them doesn't help it much a lot of the time, because they are looking for reasons to be mad at one another.

Yeah it does. It sounds like you're saying the things they do for themselves the other sibling might find annoying vs him or her doing it just to upset their sibling because they know it bothers them.

What I did to my brother was deliberate. I would just show him his cat with my doll clothes on him just to upset him than me just dressing him and not showing it to him. The first time I did it was unintentional because I put the dress on his cat and I carried him around and my little brother saw it and got upset. At first I didn't do it to upset him and then after a few times I just decided to start upsetting him by showing him his cat with my doll dress on him. My friend would come over and bring in Tiger (my brother's cat) so I would put the dress on him and I would go down to the basement or go outside to look for my brother calling him and saying I dressed his cat again. I just thought it was silly about him getting so upset and I didn't think it was a big deal so I teased him about it.

Yep, lol. My son will do things to his sister just because he knows it bothers her. I think that is out of boredom, or he just enjoys her reactions so much that it's almost impulsive. Sometimes I take it very seriously (depending on what he is doing), and sometimes I have to blow it off, because while he might be bothering her, she will over react JUST to get him into trouble.

So I have to gauge very carefully what I decide to get involved in, and what I do not, because if I go stop it every single time, she is getting rewarded for throwing a huge fit just to see him get into trouble, and if I don't intervene at times, then he is being allowed to do something that is... well, while it wouldn't be considered "torture", to most, that is the only word I can think of to really describe what it is in a way. Not the cruel kind, but the "I'm gonna do this so I can laugh at you" kind.

...and the same way vice versa.

But I think, because that is how siblings tend to be to one another, that is where the whole "normal behavior" idea comes into play. Except... for some they are a lot more lenient on their definition of it than others. It's definitely a typical thing to happen between siblings, but it definitely shouldn't just be allowed to go on non-stop. I completely agree with you there.