can aspies be good at social relations sometimes?

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“I’m not particularly into small talk.”

(said matter-of-factly, or with a light touch, either way, and probably other good possibilities as well)

Johan, I compliment you on your business. Now, with employees, most like a boss who’s straightforward and who tells them what’s expected.

Customers and clients, too. Now there is an added aspect with some clients. I know with my own experience, say when I’m a customer at a cell phone place, I like employees who can go medium in-depth on what I’m interested in, as part of our conversation, and I also often like if the employee tells a little interesting something about their life. I realize that’s personal. I don’t always get that. And so, if the employee acts in a more formal manner and thus communicates to me that they’d like to keep it more formal, I try and respect that. That’s okay, too. So perhaps you could communicate that medium level of formality to clients?

And that one occasion where you got anxious . . . okay, so the client noticed and asked if the project was too big. Fine, so be it.

I wonder if you could view it like a round of poker? For example, if you misplay the flop, that becomes part of the feel and texture of the hand, and you can still play the turn well. The turn becomes a new situation to be taken on its own terms.


“Big? Yes, it is a big project. But it’s not too big.”


At this point, there’s a chance that they too will recover and appreciate your recovery. But even if they did say something about you looking anxious, you could say . . .


“But I think anxious in a good way. Yeah, I think I’m looking forward to it. Let me give you a call in a day or two . . . ” (whatever your normal time frame is)

Asperger syndrome is part of who we are.

But anxiety, on the question of being anxious, there are some good medications for that. (And, as with anything, it helps to have a doctor you feel you can talk with. I understand that not every medication works for every patient.)

I agree with a lot of what's already been said.

I'm not good at social relations, but I can act like I am for short amounts of time. I've been a talented mimicker since I was a toddler. But it falls apart as soon as my energy runs out.

I wouldn't say I have 'social skills'... I'd say I have 'acting skills.'

"I kind of like to do my own projects."

That is, I'm asking why we can't do measured disclosure?

It takes time and practice, but yes, they definitely can. I was actually a bit of a social butterfly in High School and still frequently hang out with large varied groups of people. It's just something to have to be willing to do, and something you're interested enough in to try at.

I'm good at social relations, when I'm with the right people. I have no trouble socializing with my friends. I have trouble talking to my parents, a lot of the time. I don't really deal with authourity figures, very well, unless they happen to be my boss or supervisor.