I need advice about my son

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Hi!

I would have a brief meeting with the coach. A person who is too competitive, too pushy, individualistic and unsympathetic might not be the best suit.

GL

Oooh. Good point. Agreed, meet with the coaches.

It doesn't matter how good you are as long as you enjoy the sport. I loved playing soccer even though I wasn't very good at it. I always involved myself in the kick-abouts at school or in the local park in spite of everyone taking the mick. I did the best I could with my limited ability and, with a bit of hard work, managed to make the school team on a few occasions.

If your son enjoys the sport, he should reach for the stars. He has nothing to lose and everything to gain.

It matters how good you are if the other kids pick on you for it. Otherwise, sure, I agree; it doesn't matter how good you are if you're having fun. Is why I play racquetball (otherwise known as "chasing a little blue ball around a court and occasionally making contact with a racket).

All of you have been wonderful here. Thank you for the great advice. I am deeply moved here because this involves my son, and you have taken time to help us. The decision is now to let him play regular little league. Our sign-up is tomorrow morning. My wife did say that the mother of the other AS son said that you are allowed to switch from regular little league---if fact this mother did that with her son. He started on regular, had trouble, and he moved. So that is a relief knowing that we can do this. I feel nervous, but at the same time, I think it will be good for him. He probably does need this contact. At school he is in smaller group settings, speech class for speech problems (he is improving a lot), and HOSTS for reading development. Again, thank you all very much---you have helped tremendously.

Dear Glider, I don't think you'll regret your decision to put him in the regular league, especially at such a young age where differences in athletic abilities are relatively minor. I think the metric should be "did you have fun?" and take it from there. I can relate about being nervous, as I agonize over every decision regarding my children. But I have found that they are quite resilient and capable of making good decisions. And, if I may offer some advice, put on your glove and go have a catch with your son every day...or as often as possible. In the long run, I think it is the quality time you spend with him that will matter the most. Have fun!

I can recall my own experience in that....

I remember little league in 4th grade. I was the worst on the team, a bit clumsy, not all that sociable, embarrassed, nervous. But that's just the way it works when you're a bit different. The next time I was involved in sports was in high school - track, cross-country, which isn't very team oriented and is very basic and solo, and soccer, which I had no prior experience, and was very team oriented. Like little league, I was possibly the worst on the team in soccer, and again didn't exactly fit in. It was a big nerve wracking, but was purely my choice, there.

However despite the downsides, if it were not for times like those, I feel I might have developed even slower, socially. I feel now that it might have been a necessary discomfort to experience in order to grow, and learn. If not for those associations, I do not think I'd have the perspective I do now. Today, my social lag is imperceptible. (though, perhaps I'm just lucky...?)

There is one question that comes to my mind though -
My ability to comprehend the situations, dynamics, or cause/effect relationships grew over time. My ability to figure out how to spot my mistakes and misunderstandings increased in my 20's, while my ability to put A & B together (socially) was significantly lower when I was much younger, and all the way up to 18.
That would indicate, then, that experiencing stressful events early on might not yield nearly so many returns compared to what understanding one could gain later in life. So then, is it worth going through that when you're young if there's no guarantee that it did that much?
To that, I'm not sure.

However, either way, you cannot shield your kids from the realities of the world: If they're different, if they're clumsy, if they're not as good at certain things, then it is VERY natural that others would pick up on, and react to that. Perhaps that fact of life is an important thing learn.
Maybe, maybe not, I don't know.

*edit, oh dang, didn't see the second page. Good luck, glider!

Well...again thank you to all that offered your advice. We have registered for little league. My decision was to do as most of you said---regular little league. Five minutes before I left the house to register him, he acted like he didn't want to play ball. I talked to him and he agreed he did want to play.

I said to him that we're putting him on the regular little league team with your friend. He asked about there being two types of teams and that he had already been talking to the other kid that's on the Challenger League. I told him the Challenger League has some kids on it in wheelchairs---I explained a bit about it expecting him to immediately say he wouldn't want to be on that team. But he said, "That's the team I want to be on." I said your friend is on the regular league, and he said he wanted to be on the one with the friend on the Challenger League. Again I explained about the kids on the league and that some would be in wheelchairs and stuff---and still, he said that was the one he wanted to be on. So I called my wife who was at an appointment and told her what he said. She said it made her happy because she was pulling for that league anyway. And that surprised me because I thought she was against that league.

I want all of you to know that I took your advice and intended to put him on the regular team, but he asked to be on the Challenger League. In my approach to talking to him, I did it in a way that I thought would sway him toward the regular league, but he clearly wanted the Challenger League. Though I didn't know it, he had already talked to this other kid about that league and knew quite a bit about it. I guess I underestimated how much he knows on certain things. I hope it all works out well for him. While I was at the sign-up (I got there at the beginning of it), there were a few parents there to sign their kids up. The most popular sign-up seemed to be the Challenger League. I heard one mother say she was doing it because her kid had some cognitive issues. It is really a popular league here. As part of the Challenger League, one parent has to be on the field with their child at all times. So I signed myself up for that, and got a form for my wife too. I talked to the guy over it---his son has PDD-NOS, and I feel like it is going to work out well for us.

Again thank you for taking the time to read my posts and offer your advice. You don't know how much I appreciate that. I still think the exposure would have been nice for him, but he is around kids all day at school anyway even though he is often in smaller group environments. When I see him at school, he is almost always around a lot of other kids. The school has worked with him a lot since Kindergarten on social skills and stuff. He is making great strides.

Haha-how they surprise us. While you're trying to figure it out, there he is, scoping out the options on his own, too. lol.

Well, many grats on all of this news! I hope it all goes well for you!

Good luck with it Glider. I hope he enjoys it and I feel fairly certain -given the level of care and attention and love you extend to your son - that if he needs to change to the other team later on down the track, his parents will be ready and willing to implement that course of actions.

Thank you for your support. You're right Anxiety25, they can surprise us. Hi Millie, good to hear from you again. I hope he enjoys it too, and if there needs to be a change later on, we will embrace it. After talking with the guy over the program, I feel really confident about the league.

I'm surprised that your son doesn't know he is challenged if he is diagnosed with AS.

But if this is the case then perhaps it is better for him to find out for himself which baseball league he prefers.

As he doesn't know he is challenged, he is likely to choose regular Little League.

It that doesn't work out, he has another option to fall back on.

Good luck and Happy Chinese New Year