I don't like being led on!

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I'm not saying you should be getting it on with multiple people at the same time, that can definitely result in some hurt feelings as well as having some health risks these days. Although lots of people have been there done that in their early years.

The reason for parallel dating is that it gives you an opportunity to evaluate multiple candidates to a degree you probably can't achieve through postal or online communication. There's no way that can measure up to actually going out to dinner and spending time with a person a couple times a week for a month or more. I guess the flip side of that coin is that people with AS tend to say more online, but then, sometimes nothing much really needs to be said, it's just being there that matters. If you're dating serially and commit too quickly you can end up spending a year in an unfulfilling relationship before you go through the headache and heartache of actually ending it. If you spend a year on and a year off, you can blow a decade on five people. Personally, I prefer to find the *one* *right* *person*. I guess it seems counterintuitive on some level.

Damn, I didn't like to think this was the case. That sucks.

Bit of a quantum leap for my thinking too. I can see the advantage of the parallel method, but surely the huge fly in the ointment here is that for the vast majority, there's simply no opportunity to line up that number of dates. Especially for Aspies. At the peak of my sexual attractiveness, I only managed to date about 3 girls in the same week, and even that was rare, and I was in a very lucky situation, living in a shared house with lots of friendly people passing through.

For neurotypicals, I'm sure that an actual date beats the online interaction method for testing compatibility - after all, you're looking for somebody to be with, not somebody to write to. And it's so easy to hide your flaws with writing. But an Aspie might well be more easily misjudged if it's face-to-face.

I learnt this from Gossip Girl.
I still think it counts as cheating though.
I don't know any NT's that do it.

I have to be totally honest here, I haven't done it since I was like 19 years old. But I think there's a serious danger in committing too fast. People are ninjas when it comes to hiding their flaws for the first couple months (I've actually heard 5 is pretty typical)... possibly not as true with AS, not sure. I dated someone who didn't want to make a decision for about the first 6 weeks after I first met her, she was perfectly clear that she was going out to dinner with at least one other guy. As long as it's just hanging out and talking and doesn't really go further than that, and everybody is honest about what they're doing I don't think it's cheating. I had conversations with my friends about it and they pretty much agreed its normal. One you start making out etc, you're going to have to make a decision soon though.

Sometimes it's hard not to just put everything you've got into it right away though

I agree that it's normal. I even did it once. I was dating two people at one time. I've done some serial dating too. I get scared of people really fast. I don't plan to just go on one date with them, but it happens sometimes. Once this guy I met texted me 40 times before we even had our first date. Needless to say, that date didn't happen. I don't think that's unreasonable though.

Some good points there. Probably explains why I've found it so difficult to keep a sense of perspective when there's only been the one potential partner. Not impossible, especially with experience, but definitely not easy, and if the partner is also dating only you (I'd have hated to date one who wasn't reciprocating my premature fidelity), they tend to take it as an insult - "Why is he so matter-of-fact about us? Why doesn't he care?"

Hmmm......there used to be an American phrase "going steady" - suggesting that there was indeed a normal first phase when it was acceptable to date others at will. Only when it had been agreed to go steady would the couple then feel bound to stop dating others. I strongly suspect you're right, though it goes royally against the grain in my case. If only people could be relied upon to lay off the sex for long enough to make a healthy choice, it might be workable. Maybe the Victorians were right to use chaperones - because without them, it's nearly always going to get sexual too early, and then of course the bonding is going to lock in before it has any right to.