Is there anyone else out there...

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I'd wager that some of us have been treated badly enough to warrant the opinion, though not as a blanket statement. But definitely as a precaution.

I've been treated badly by Autistics more times than I care to remeber. perhaps I should approach them with caution from now on.

I don't know why I'm so offended by this, but I am.

There are some that have been bullied by NT's so severely that they think every NT is out to get them. I have been bullied too and continue to be but I'm not going to treat every NT as though they are bullies. My friends are NT's and I find it ridiculous to even separate myself so much from them by calling them NT.
I say NT a lot.
There are nasty people out there that happen to be NT, but not every NT is going to be like that. My friends have had some pretty nasty friends. I choose to avoid them.

In case you are still reading this thread:

I can relate to what you are saying. I don't have PTSD but I am also laid back. I don't care what people think, I don't worry about myself or if I am doing anything wrong. I play it by ear. I am not unhappy about my childhood or how people have treated me in the past. I do get upset by how I get treated but I get over it.

I used to be upset about having AS but I have learned to embrace it and accept the positives it's given me. But I feel those gifts are useless because they are not going to give me a career.

I don't like having anxiety or a learning disability but I live with it and don't get all upset about having them and hating myself for it and being so negative about it. I still wish I didn't have it because then school would have been much easier for me and I would have gone to college and I would have had a successful life. For anxiety, I wish I didn't have that because I feel my life would be easier too and it wouldn't stop me from doing things. I am always afraid to do things because of my anxiety.

There were times in my adult life where I wish I didn't have AS because I figured dating would have been easier and I wouldn't be so stuck in my shell and finding it stressful to leave my house to go out and do things. I was able to leave my house to go to work or when I wanted to go to my parents or if I wanted to go to Missoula or Kalispell (two other towns). But I was so isolated, there was no way I could get men and I just preferred to be home. Also when flexibility was hard for me, that's when I'd wished I didn't have it.

I am. Yes, thank you. I only wanted to find someone that was a bit similar.
I've completely given up on dating. Well, sort of. I think it could work if I told them that I had AS and if they left me after that then that would be that. Dating seems like too much stress anyway.
My chosen career paths never seemed to go anywhere. There was the dream to work at IBM that never happened. The workload for an IT course was just a bit much. My concert photography, spanning 5 or 6 years was successful as a hobby, but never for paid employment. I wanted to do promotional photos but my social awkwardness got in the way of that. I was lucky enough to get work retouching photos though, and really all I want to do is work and prove myself, even if that means quitting concert photography.
There are times when I can get stressed and worry but I find reading a book or watching a movie makes me forget about my problems.

I don't think that all NTs are the enemy. If someone is not nice, all I have learned is that one person is not nice. I do not expect everyone in their "category" to share all their personality characteristics.
I don't write long essays on socialising as it is not all that interesting to me.

Only a few; you'll notice that most of the people who replied here said they didn't think that NTs were the enemy. This kind of thing happens with any minority that is subject to a large amount of prejudice and mistreatment--a subgroup of that minority will become paranoid, and another subgroup will take refuge in reverse prejudice. If you've ever studied the history of the civil rights movement, you'll see similar tendencies. Only once acceptance increases do those subgroups shrink, their members joining the majority that wants peaceful coexistence.

Last edited by Callista on 05 Mar 2010, 11:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Me too.
I did exaggerate quite a lot about the writing essay part. Did anyone notice that or take what I said literally?

Aspies are a subgroup of society? Mmmmmmmaybe, I don't know about that. Maybe here in this forum yes, but in the real world? I don't think so, most people don't know what Asperger's Syndrome is let alone have a prejudice against it.

I do know (from personal experience) that Aspies do have this issue where they expect NTs to instinctively know their special needs and requirements and get very upset when we don't cater to them. NTs can treat Aspies like they would any other person and they Aspie can come out feeling bullied. I don't know why people with Asperger's seem to have this sense of entitlement, but it's definitely there. Sometimes I feel like Aspies want all NTs to coddle them and wrap them up in cotton wool, treat them like children, but at the same time revere them and put them on a pedastal. I don't understand it to be honest. But I'm not worried about it, I learned a long time ago with Autism, it is what it is. Take it or take it. There's no leaving anything behind.

I can understand prejudice against Lower Functioning Autistics because of the 'retardation' stigma, but it would not be hard at all for Aspies to avoid this stigma through their words and action (lower functioing autistics don't have this luxury).

Last edited by KoS on 06 Mar 2010, 12:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

I didn't know what you were talking about. I figured you meant aspies who talk about socializing and stuff.

Actually it can be a lot worse for people with AS because they are put into mainstream schools and seen as 'normal' when there are certain things about them that are seen as odd and makes them easy targets for bullies. And it continues into their adult life at work or in relationships. They are also sensitive and still have autistic traits, just not as severe. But that does not mean they are not impairing.

I can see where you are coming from. You have had experience with low functioning autistics, and usually people with LF's in their family think that people with AS have it easy. They don't. They are more likely to suffer from anxiety, depression and commit suicide.

Words and actions
Let me just describe my words and action.
I have a speech impairment. While I can speak I often cannot get a complete sentence out without fault. I stutter and stammer and get words mixed up. It's hard to explain things to people because those thoughts in your head come out completely different. People often take what I say the wrong way.
People with AS develop a lot of social anxiety because when they can't think of anything to say when trying to talk to somebody.

And people do know what Asperger's syndrome is. They may think we're all geeks with social problems but they know what it is. And people with AS still get called ret*d.

I do find that I get upset with people who treat me normal when they get annoyed with my AS symptoms. We are wired differently so we react to things differently. A lot of people think that I want sympathy, but no, I want them to realise that I am different. And I'm not as mild as some on here. I don't have a high IQ or great memory. I have massive executive dysfunction, which means it takes me a long time to get things done. It could be seen as lazy, but the thing is I want to get things done.

I know what you're saying and I agree completely. Along with my 2 LFA brothers, I have a little sister with AS, I guess it is on the severe side. She has all those problems you mentioned, especially the anxiety, it is really out of control.

And you are also right about me thinking that people with AS having it a bit easier because of my LFA brothers, you can probably guess that I have spent most of my life sticking up for them when people make fun of them. I've not had to do this for my sister yet.

And I think we were also at an advantage with her AS because of our brothers. Before she started school she was very aware she would be seen as different, at the time she thought people would see her the same way they see our brothers and make fun of her the same way. We decided at the time that because she had the ability to explain to the other kids about herself (unlike the boys) she should do so, and we designed a proper sounding little miniature speech and she would rattle it off if anyone questioned her. But I see now that this likely worked for us because of our unique situation. Thought I do think more Aspies could put something similar into practice.

And, NTs do realise Aspies are different, they just don't care. They treat them like they would any other human being, and lets not forget, that is what society teaches us to do. Treat everyone equally in spite of their problems. NTs turn on people when people start demanding too much of them. Aspies DEMAND that we be understanding of their issues and DEMAND that we cater to their special needs. And that doesn't fly for people who know nothing or very little abou as, and the demanding Aspie is promptly rejected. They would do the same to an NT person making the same demands. If an NT came up to and said "We are this way, so you must do this and this and this so I can be ok" and Aspie would reject that person because they would be unable to cater to the NTs needs (which is actually how society seems to be for Aspies sometimes anyway), it is all a complete lack of understanding and misguided expectations from both sides.

A miniature speech? That sounds like a good idea. Your sister was a lot more ready to be seen as different than many of us here. For me my eldest siblings were as my mum put it 'big personalities' and my sister closest to my age wasn't as much but she was still social, and she was very bossy to me. She often said I was adopted and ret*d, used to kick me under the table and do all sorts of nice stuff like that. I was seen as the shy youngest sister. I didn't say a peep to those that weren't in my family. People thought I was deaf.
Every time I've tried to explain that I had AS it never seemed to come out right. I suppose when you start to speak to other people from 14 year of age it's a bit hard to get your words out right.


Also true. Could because we are seen as more normal, though our brains do work a different way and our behavior is seen as odd. We're usually though of as eccentric than disabled.
I always thought that if I explained things that people would be a bit easier on you. But it seems that NT's think they are doing something nice by treating you like you're normal.
The thing is with me I like to talk about AS, and I've found a few NT's that are willing to listen. But before that it was very difficult to keep my thoughts to myself.

This is where I truly feel for Aspies, not only my own sister, but all those affected. The one area where everyone with AS seems to falter in conversation, the inability to not talk about what they want due to other peoples lack of interest.

It is so painful to watch, especially with kids. There may be a group of kids with an AS child among them, they might be talking about a subject that the AS kid is interested in, but then as conversation flows, the subject naturally shifts, and everyone picks up on it.....except the AS kid, he keeps trying to talk about the one subject even though everyone else has moved on, the other kids get frustrated and annoyed, and they don't understand why this other kid is 'being weird' and not going with the conversational flow, and they eventually reject him. They are too young to understand that the AS kid needs to be told that the subject has changed (and even if they do, it usually not in a nice way). And I can only imagine if you were interested in talking about AS it would annoy people even more because, as it is the condition that affects YOU, constantly bringing it up makes you look self-absorbed, which Aspies tend to be anyway (not on purpose, I think AS brains just bounce all information back and relates it only to that individual, like someone will say "I have a new car, it's a toyota" an NT might say "Oh wow, good for you what model Toyota is it?" but an Aspie might say "I wanted to get a new car soon" instead of showing interest in the other person, they relate the information back to their own situation - NTs HATE IT! Because they do not understand.)

Wow, sorry for the segue. This forum is cool, lots to think about!

By the way, we're the same age and live in the same state! Kinda cool!

I've been there many times where people don't seem interested in what I'm talking about. I meet a lot of bands (I'm a concert photographer) and for some reason early in my career I made friends with bands. One band member wants to meet me so I think 'hell, all band members should meet me.' I try to keep conversation topics to just music and the usual small talk (weather/news) with them. I have in the past talked about a lot of garbage in front of them. That was before I was diagnosed, but I became aware that they just weren't interested. I keep my special interests to myself now, especially those really immature ones like my favorite cartoon show. And the fact that my newest interest is lobotomy, well, that's not going to be a good topic starter at my friends' upcoming wedding reception.
It's also reversed too - we aren't interested in what NT's talk about. I can recall almost falling asleep when people were talking about other people that I didn't know.
The thing with a conversation that someone with AS can actually join in on, it takes them awhile to come up with something to say, so when the conversation has moved they try to bring it back. I often wonder weather I should just interrupt people to get a word in edge wise or just not say a thing? I don't want to be seen as rude so I choose the latter.
I've been told by someone that didn't particularly like me that 'the world doesn't revolve around you.' It kind of does, because I relate everything back to myself. I don't want to be self centered but sometimes I just am.

Really? I had no idea you were Australian. I hope you stay at this forum and learn a thing or two about us. There are a few LFA's and HFA's that post here.

I'm going to PM you now, hope that's ok!