No Problem with Eye Contact?
Great technique for encouraging eye contact, I must say.
Though I have a severely AS son for whom that would work really well. About the only time he will spontaneously make steady eye contact is in that very situation.
He would have given her his "angry evil stare!"
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I just see eyes. I like the way eyes look and I always have. As a kid I used to doodle them all the time. The first thing I notice about people is their eyes. Maybe liking the way the look is why I keep looking at them?
I think I do stare. I've noticed myself doing that. I'm not sure how I am supposed to look at people to be honest. I mean, when do you look and when do you look away?
Last edited by Kiseki on 30 Jun 2010, 9:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I just see eyes. I like the way eyes look and I always have. As a kid I used to doodle them all the time. The first thing I notice about people is their eyes. Maybe liking the way the look is why I keep looking at them?
I think I do stare. I've noticed myself doing that. I'm not sure how I am supposed to look at people to be honest. I mean, when do you look and when do you look away?
I notice eyes also (thought it was funny that you said you'd draw them - I do the same thing and always have). I have never had issues with making eye contact. I do remind myself however when talking to more than one person that I must make eye contact with each person as equally as possible to avoid appearing rude.
My son has good eye contact but I know it's not what it's "supposed" to be. Because it's significantly better than other children with Autism though, many people have trouble believing that's what's going on with him.
Glad I found this thread.
I don't look at eyes when I talk to someone, I look at their mouth. My Austistic son now does eye contact because since he was 10 months old and wouldn't look into my eyes when I talked to him, I would tell him to look at peoples faces when they talk to you, so now he does mouth contact as well.
I also would not look into people's eyes when I was a kid and my mom forced me to by holding my head and saying LOOK AT ME! I don't do that to my son, but my husband does it to him, and I have asked him to not get in his face like that, that it intimidates him, just ask him to look at your eyes and he will...
AshtonWA
Aspergers Mom with 2 Autistic Sons
The concept of "impairment of eye contact" doesn't necessarily mean having *just* having issues with making eye contact at all. There are some people on the spectrum who have no problem making eye contact, except their problem is that they make *too much* eye contact.
The "normal" method of using eye contact is to look into someone's eyes for a few seconds at a time, then looking away for a seconds or so before resuming eye contact. Rinse and repeat. Usually people will give others that small "break" in eye contact because otherwise it gets too intense.
You may notice the expression, to "stare down" at someone - using too much eye contact can be perceived as aggressive and/or challenging.
Humans aren't the only ones who dislike too much eye contact. Dogs have similar issues. Stare down at a dog you're not familiar with and more often than not, they will be very displeased.
Staring into someone's eyes without any breaks would, therefore, be considered a "marked impairment", if you're not doing it to deliberately challenge or antagonise someone.
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The "normal" method of using eye contact is to look into someone's eyes for a few seconds at a time, then looking away for a seconds or so before resuming eye contact. Rinse and repeat. Usually people will give others that small "break" in eye contact because otherwise it gets too intense.
You may notice the expression, to "stare down" at someone - using too much eye contact can be perceived as aggressive and/or challenging.
Humans aren't the only ones who dislike too much eye contact. Dogs have similar issues. Stare down at a dog you're not familiar with and more often than not, they will be very displeased.
Staring into someone's eyes without any breaks would, therefore, be considered a "marked impairment", if you're not doing it to deliberately challenge or antagonise someone.
I think this may actually be the problem that I have. I stare at people when I speak to them. I really don't get why you are supposed to look away or when and how. How does one do that naturally?
The "normal" method of using eye contact is to look into someone's eyes for a few seconds at a time, then looking away for a seconds or so before resuming eye contact. Rinse and repeat. Usually people will give others that small "break" in eye contact because otherwise it gets too intense.
You may notice the expression, to "stare down" at someone - using too much eye contact can be perceived as aggressive and/or challenging.
Humans aren't the only ones who dislike too much eye contact. Dogs have similar issues. Stare down at a dog you're not familiar with and more often than not, they will be very displeased.
Staring into someone's eyes without any breaks would, therefore, be considered a "marked impairment", if you're not doing it to deliberately challenge or antagonise someone.
I think this may actually be the problem that I have. I stare at people when I speak to them. I really don't get why you are supposed to look away or when and how. How does one do that naturally?
This may sound crazy, but watch what a dog does. Eye contact is important to their social structure and too much is bad because it's considered a challenge. They'll make it and break it periodically as well. The only dog that will consistently maintain eye contact or stare is the alpha.
Hmm, I never really paid attention to that before. Is it natural within people to look away? I mean does it occur naturally or is something one has to tell themselves to do?
I really don't know the answer to that question. I'll have to ask someone. I would image it's something more natural. I never realized how unusual the amount of thought I put into having and maintaining a conversation was until I started talk with my son's speech pathologist.
AFAIK, the "making and breaking" of eye contact is fairly "natural" for those not on the spectrum. I don't think most people are generally aware of themselves doing it, unless you point it out to them.
Generally, non-ASD people view eye contact as a way of touching, and maintaining base with someone during the course of a conversation. It's to show that they are listening and paying attention in a friendly way.
If this doesn't come naturally, then it will have to be a learned skill. I tend to remind myself to cycle through the eye contact/break/eye contact phase when I can. Another tactic is to look at a person's forehead or lips, which gives the impression that you are looking at someone.
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Said the apple to the orange,
"Oh, I wanted you to come
Close to me and
Kiss me to the core."
Think you're ASD? Get thee to a professional!
Sedaka
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Eye contact is only easy for me if I'm extremely pissed at the person and am actively yelling.
Other than that, I bounce around and try to keep checking in with the eyes.
Oh... it also doesn't seem to be an issue if my face is extremely close to the other person's face ie--touching foreheads ect.
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