Do people not believe you have AS?

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I've had professionals tell me I probably had it, as well as professionals that declared I was just 'painfully shy'.

I've never been officially diagnosed, and am not sure I should seek a diagnosis. Partly, this is due to no support. Particularly from my husband. He has major trust issues when it comes to 'head doctors' and insists 'everyone has AS tendencies'. Nevermind that there's a very good possibility he's got AS.

I have a couple friends that have been officially diagnosed, and they have no doubt I have it. I still find myself going back and forth, though. Some days I'm convinced I'm an Aspie, and other days I'm convinced I'm just obsessing over it to the point of emulating some of the traits.

Today, I'm about in the middle.

Is this no one believing you have it something American?

Here in the Netherlands people take the disorder serious, and healthcare professionals don't call you names when you want to get an assessment, they take you seriously.

I had 5 co workers remark to me after my diagnosis -"I knew you had that months ago"-must have been very obvious to them.

I have people tell me that I am over it now.

That is too funny. People pressurize you into being as normal as you can be in subtle ways and then tell you that you are now normal.

On the one hand, I am flattered that I can act normal so well

On the other hand, my brain still works in the same way, I still have most of the same struggles, though some are much less than they were and my life still has the outcome of so many of us with Asperger's/ Generally: not having reached anywhere near my full potential, too much inner confusion and pain related to social things

The response that I get from people, is that I must have gotten over it, or that they wouldn't have known. Another thing that they tell me, is my personal favourite, "You don't seem autistic." Other than that, I do have the Dx.

First off, I'm not diagnosed.

When I first found out about AS over 4 years ago, I told a few people close to me about my deep suspicions. One was my SO, who I had to explain it to. (I asked him recently if he still believed it and he said yes, not that he has anybody to compare me to, other than what he's seen in the movies. "Adam" in particular had a few very familiar moments for him.)

The second was a long time friend, and she didn't doubt it at all, in fact she said she always suspected I was at least PDD-NOS. She works in a children's hospital and sees a lot of kids, including those on the spectrum.

The third was my physiotherapist. It just came out. She is a Craniosacral Therapist and deliberately tried to get me talking about my life and feelings, much like a psychiatrist would. She even got me to open up about the abuse I suffered at the hands of my Dad, which no one has really been able to do before. She believed I'm on the spectrum, however, I couldn't tell if she was just trying to appease me. I don't know why that thought came to me - as it's hard for me to know when this is actually happening but the question still remains. She always approached her patients positively, and I don't ever recall her uttering any invalidating comments.

The 4th I told was my oldest sister over the phone. I said, "autism" (not Asperger's), like I usually do. I told her I believed wholeheartedly I was on the spectrum and that I felt there was many autistic traits going through the family (BAP). She agreed, but she never actually said anything regarding myself having "full blown" autism. For one thing, she has some issues with labels. But overall, it seems she can see it. She can see traits in herself. She asked me who I thought had the most autistic traits...I answered myself, but she said our mom, which is the side of the family I suspected as having the most traits. Her answer threw me a bit because while our mother's a "loner" and not much of a social being, I'm the one who stimmed like mad, and had special interests, etc., on top of being socially clueless.  However, I also see some traits of autism, ADHD and mood disorders on my Dad's side. My parents were just entering middle age when I was conceived, my father being the older of the two. Autism is more likely when the father is older, plus there's all those traits between them that combined could have made for an autism spectrum kid, which I believe happened. I grew up in the 70's and 80's so there was no AS diagnosis to be had. I was a mystery to everyone around me, as a kid especially.

I've never discussed it with my parents. My second oldest sister, who I mentioned it to later, acts like she didn't hear it or my comments on ADHD and/or bipolar II/cyclothymia as a possibility for some family members (herself included: she has a ton of issues that started in her developing years). Mom did say to me when I was a teen that she suspected me to be schizotypal or schizoid (I can't remember which "schizo-"disorder she said exactly). Now she acts like it didn't mean anything when she said it, like every thing's hunky dory now. My relationship with my Dad is a little better, but strained because he can be such an inconsiderate and narcissistic S.O.B. He was the one who constantly asked in an accusatory tone "What is WRONG with you!?" or "Why are you so scared of people!?", amongst other things. I'll leave it at that and just say he didn't help in these matters growing up.

In general, the people I've told IRL believe I'm on the spectrum. The rest would rather not talk about it (family members). Back in the '89, before anyone in the general population knew of AS, I had said to an artist who had an autistic son, "I think I'm a little autistic". He didn't believe it, because he was going on his son, who was LFA.

The right diagnosis is like somebody identifying a tool, so that you can find the correct manual for it and instructions for using it. If the diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome fits, and helps to find relevant support, then I think most people would accept it.

Most people believe my AS when I tell them, but they don't come up with that themselves. Former professionals used to be convinced I was "just behaviorally distiurbed" until I got an official diagnosis from anothe rprofessional.