Odd topic: feeling distance toward your own name

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I also feel detached from my name. Sure, Shelby is a nice name, but when I tell people my name, half of the people that I tell it to, repeat, "Sholby". No! Not Sholby, Shelby!

I never had a problem with Richard, but it does get rather annoying when people mispronounce my last name.

Reading your childhood stories, I've just remembered, that for a while I was working in a candy factory when I was about 16-17 every night to get some funds for a decent road bike, and during the day I was attending school. Anyhow, we were there with my cousin and many others, and once two older ladies were saying loud "Bob! Hey Bob! Booob!". My cousin suddenly nudged me, and asked if I can't hear that they are calling me... And I was totally lost, I heard what they were yelling, but I just could not pair the name Bob with myself. It was just so alien...

(no, I'm not Bob, by the way)

I like my surname, 'tis very Norfolky

YES. All of what you described, general feelings of depersonalization but also not identifying with my OWN NAME.

Always. I used to call myself all kinds of different names in my mind as a kid, not intentionally, I just had a roster of 3 or 4 names in constant rotation that I would refer to myself as. I think it has to do with thinking in the third person, feelings of depersonalization, etc, but that is also linked to ASDs.

one of my special interests is surnames, i have a dictionary of english surname's

A name is an identification label. If you don't like your name then change it.

ruveyn

I feel distant towards the use of my "Sunday name" (i.e. the full form of my forename). My parents always used the full form and I took to the short form as a way of establishing my identity when I was a young teenager. I was basically saying "I am not quite what my parents wanted me to be." It was also the full-length name my mum used when she was about to rebuke me, so all in all I just grew to dislike it. These days I still prefer the short form, it's more human, friendly and familiar. The long form now reminds me of filling in forms and similar tedious drudgery. A couple of girlfriends insisted on using the long form and it didn't help to endear me to them. But more recently a lady used it in an ironic, humorous kind of way, and I found it as funny as she did. Just don't use it seriously and you'll be fine, it seems.

I hated my name as a kid. It never felt like mine and kids always called me a boy because 'it's a boy's name!' I even went so far as to convince my mom it would be in my best interest to change it legally, but my psychologist said something about being concerned I would develop a split personality. (which is absurd) So... I stayed Dawn.

These days, I'm neutral when it comes to my name. To me, it really doesn't matter what it is. As long as I know you're speaking to me I'm okay with it.

Just don't call me Donkey. That was something a bully did in middle school.

I can relate quite directly to what you said. I find it hard to pronounce my first name and much prefer my last name. If possible I have people refer to me by my surname, in fact. If someone asks my name often I introduce myself with words like "Surname Janzen" or something of that nature. And as for the original question, I don't feel any connection with my name, but I didn't realize I was supposed to, so its hard to answer that.

This is a very interesting topic, and I think the "name" phenomenon is related to the problem with not feeling like the image in the mirror is really "you". I had both of these problems for much of my life, as well as a horror of listening to my own voice on a tape recorder or answering machine. There is actually nothing wrong with my name, and I don't "dislike" it; I think, throughout most of my life, I didn't feel like it was "me". I've finally slowly gotten used to it, I guess by the simple fact that I've lived with this name, and this face, for a while now. (Still not used to my voice though).

But here's another interesting question: for much of my life, the only way I could think of "myself" was by pretending I was another person. If I had any daydreams about myself, I had to insert this other person, rather than myself as I am; it's like I just couldn't accept myself. For instance, as a child I "was" a gypsy girl, a little Sioux Indian boy, a pharaoh of Egypt, etc. When I was a teenager (after pretending I was Elton John for awhile)- I would take the appearances of various attractive, obscure actresses, add a name and a personality that I liked and pretend that was "me". I usually didn't try to look like these people in real life, I just imagined, in my head, that I WAS them. I did these things well into my 20's. As I said, I finally grew accustomed to myself as is- took long enough though. Did anyone else do anything like this???