Why are people so phony? Why do people mislead you?

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Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 121,237
Location: In my own little country

23 Jul 2010, 8:10 am

I've just gotten rid of a phony girl. It's taken a couple of months to realize, that she was never a good friend, to begin with.

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LittleTigger
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Joined: 5 Nov 2009
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 814

23 Jul 2010, 10:34 am

Poppycocteau wrote:

Quote:

Plastic people strike again. Dam!

I hate plastics.

I have taken to "testing" people before
I get to trust them one little pinch.

If I can't scare them off, then they are
worthy otherwise stuffem.

. . . You 'test' them? I am interested to hear how this is done.

It has become unintentional now, I guess I just
cut it all loose and not hold much back, I
lost the power to hold these things back
and I just be the little kid I always have
been, I will burp, hock and spit. or tell my
stupid fart and burp and boogar jokes,
or have Teletubbies on tv if they insist
on coming to my home or loud blasting
heavmyetal music playing (instead of the
usual country music they always eems to listen to)
sorry I just got coconutted on it and I
cood not stand the depression it causes
me anymore to keep from swallowing poison.
it ias a very negative effecto on me.

Usually I scare off the Chronically Normal
and I am rid of their stupidity forever,
but the ones that are stubborn or brave
enuf to hang around and won't quit on me,
usually ended up being my good buddies.

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When society stops expecting
too much from me, I will
stop disappointing them.

League_Girl
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23 Jul 2010, 11:29 am

Countess wrote:

johnnydangerous wrote:

Oh Im not even talking about dating, though. Im talking just hanging out and trying to make friends with people. But the same concept applies. This woman is already married. But I just thought shed make a good friend. Baically, I bought into her BS compliments, her BS assurance of how great I was. Only for her to show me how great I was by not showing up for a friendly get-together. When push came to shove her true colors were revealed.

Guess Im not even worthy of spending an hour or so with just to eat a meal and talk. She lives right near where we were to meet, yetI had to drive an hour. And she doesnt show, or even give an explanation as to why. Figures.

I daydream sometimes of just having lunch and talking to some of these people. Just talking and having friends. Can you believe this? These are my "fantasies"...I dont dream of being rich, or to date a supermodel...my dreams are to just sit down and talk to some of these people...but Im not good enough for that. So it'll have to staya dream.

You said she's married. Did it ever occur to you that maybe she couldn't meet up with you because of her spouse? If I told my husband I was going to have coffee alone with a male co-worker he would flip out. I wouldn't blame him either - that's how most affairs start.

There are plenty of people out there who are worth your time. They're just very very hard to find sometimes. I feel for you. I have been living in a different state for nine years and have made two friends who regularly drop off the face of the earth on me. It's very depressing, but it's temporary. I often daydream about having a few female friends to have coffee with or just go see a movie or some such.

It's not that you aren't good enough either - you just haven't met the right people.

If I were the co worker, I would have just gone into work the next day and explain why I didn't show up and apologize for it.

Countess
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23 Jul 2010, 12:49 pm

League_Girl wrote:

Countess wrote:

johnnydangerous wrote:

If I were the co worker, I would have just gone into work the next day and explain why I didn't show up and apologize for it.

I would too, but I have had people be exceptionally inconsiderate before and offer no explanation for their behavior. So I just avoid them. Sometimes people will offer a reason after time has passed. I've learned never to trust those types either. They usually do things like that because of some other reason that they're not going to divulge.

People (like food) come in all different flavors. Many of those flavors are very unappealing, but you won't know until you try them. And if they do taste bad, you're already stuck with that flavor memory. But, I digress...

tomboy4good
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23 Jul 2010, 7:28 pm

johnnydangerous wrote:

Everytime I think I found someone I can trust, they prove me wrong. People whom I know, they let me down. Why do people pretend to be interested in you? Why do they pretend to like you, say great things about you, but when you ask them to get a cup of coffee as a friend after work they either make up some horrible excuse not to, or agree to go only to not show up, or otherwise blow you off?

Then these are the same people who later ask "why dont you try to get to know people a little better? Socialize more?"...Umm...did you forget the last time I tried to socialize WITH YOU you blew me off?

I guess they mean I should try to socialzie with OTHER people because they of course, are too good for me. f***ing liars. f***ing phonies. I'm sick of this sh**. I wanna put a gun in my mouth and blow the f***ing trigger. I trust noone. NOONE. They are ALL f***ing liars.

I am my only friend and I will f***ing DIE ALONE but I'm not putting my heart into anyone anymore. People ENJOY hurting me. f**k this sh**.

Yeah buddy, I feel your pain! Just when I think I've found someone whom I can trust, they stab me in the back. Life sucks! I wish I had some good news for ya, but alas, I don't.

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If I do something right, no one remembers. If I do something
wrong, no one forgets.

Aspie Score: 173/200, NT score 31/200: very likely an Aspie
5/18/11: New Aspie test: 72/72
DX: Anxiety plus ADHD/Aspergers: inconclusive

liveandletdie
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23 Jul 2010, 7:47 pm

I just think NT's tend to be a series of masks, which is because they tend to follow a crowd- it's only natural to blend in whether that is seeming as normal as possible or following a very strange fad like girl pants on guys...or nose/lip rings...no problem with the rings but the girl pants on guys.....bugs me.

Also I will add that I did find some good friends in high school...

I liked to lift weights and they did as well, that is how we became friends.
Also they had the same religious views but the lifting and bond came before finding out about that and only drew us closer.

While NT's don't get as obsessive as we do in terms of interests, there are those who put some time into it- best to find some with similar interests and if they aren't there give it time I'm sure they'll come.

With that said, I rarely see them currently and though I say it's too much on my plate atm it's really just because they require so much time.....time that i'd rather not be waisting.

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