Does rejection "eat you up"?

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Oh, yes. It happens often. I wonder, when it happens, because I understand in the same time in my mind, that there is no real reason to feel pain. But I still feel this, sometimes even on small and unimportant things. If somebody promises to call me or write a mail, and don;t do this, this is really a hell. Or when the last word in a conversation in the chat is my, and not "good by" it's also bad. It means for me, that someone didn't want to speak more with me..
Do you have any ideas, what to do with memory? What to do with old memories, that make pain again and again and look like a barrier between me and the future?

Yeah it does, and all the a**holes who don't have social problems who tell me s**t like "STOP CARING WHAT PEOPLE THINK BLAH BLAH BLAH" Make me feel even worse, because they have no f*****g clue what its like.

I sometimes think about the times I was socially rejected, and want to kill myself. I think about my family who can't possibly understand and close friends that I do have and how I wouldn't be able to bring it on them if I did. Whatever though, I probably will someday.

I smoke weed or take pills. There's nothing you can do, you can't even forget them. Though if you want a future, and want to make it you just have to ignore them or take anything you think as rejection with apathy.

If you have more confidence, it may increase your social standing and you probably wont get rejected. Most people in College are pretty welcoming, as long as you can have conversations with people or keep one going. Getting comfortable having conversations with people comes with practice, and with that you will be better accepted.

I try to do this (I mean apathy, not smoking or pills). As one of my friends said, the saying "Time is best healer" is wrong. Time doesn't heal anything. You can only try to cover your memories with another, and another, and more.
But this defense is very thin. An old song, a smell, some assotiation - and it blows up in my head again. After a few time I can calm and forget this all till next time, but it hurts.
I like good conversations, and I think I have lots of good conversations, but the problem is, that "small" things, like unexpected (by me) interruption of conversation hurts me sometimes as strong as "big" rejections, that I have very rare.

You will be hurt less by bad memories if you have more successful memories. The thing I'm trying to get at is, depression breeds failure and success breeds success. The more depressed you are over social failings the more likely they will happen.

What exactly do you mean by unexpected interruptions of conversation?

I mean, for example, when the topic was changed, but I didn't finished what I planned to say. Or when there are speaking more than two persons, and somebody overtakes the initiative and turns me into listener.
But it can be also unintentionally: when somebody forgets to answer my sms or ring back.. maybe simply doesn't have time, but it makes me angry, I interpret it subconsciously as rejection.

About memory. I have strong associative memory. It is good for study or for writing poems, but it has a dark side too.
Usually this feelings we speak about aren't long. It's like prick of a needle. Sometimes very thick needle. Sometimes very thick needle in the heart.

It used to, but now it indirectly makes me stronger.

You need to relax sweetie topics change in the flow of conversation, usually to a memory triggered in someone or whatever thoughts they currently have. Sometimes a**holes like to appear socially outgoing by not standing there in the background even if you are having a good conversation.

Hi, I'm the person that started this thread. I've been told that some of it's in my head. Do you believe there's any truth to this? I sometimes feel ignored, but someone suggested maybe I give off the impression of indifference or disliking the other person.