08 Sep 2010, 6:23 pm
08 Sep 2010, 7:00 pm
nova2012 wrote:
Invader wrote:
I've only ever fallen for the "my friend is selling that thing you're after, give me the money and I'll go over to his place and buy it for you". It's a simple one but the way I fell for it was strange. I didn't entirely believe that the person would come back but I had no idea how to refuse without violating some perceived social boundary or something. Maybe AS had something to do with the awkwardness I felt in just saying "no, I don't believe you". It was only a small amount of money, so stupidly enough I just came to the decision that it would be easier to just take the risk of letting him go "buy" the thing from his friend, instead of burning out the circuits in my brain by trying to figure out how I was supposed to handle this kind of social interaction.
Needless to say, I have never fallen for it again. Well, I never really "fell for it" the first time, I just thought the risk was a better option than the tangled social mess, but ever since then I have simply said "no, it's alright, I don't really need it" whether it shows a blatant lack of trust or not. It seems like the obvious choice now, but hindsight is 20/20. This kind of response to friendly offers probably does some harm in relationships to honest people, if they do indeed exist, but oh well.
Needless to say, I have never fallen for it again. Well, I never really "fell for it" the first time, I just thought the risk was a better option than the tangled social mess, but ever since then I have simply said "no, it's alright, I don't really need it" whether it shows a blatant lack of trust or not. It seems like the obvious choice now, but hindsight is 20/20. This kind of response to friendly offers probably does some harm in relationships to honest people, if they do indeed exist, but oh well.
How do you respond when a homeless dude asks you for money on the street? If you've ever worked, walked, or lived in a city, you know this is pretty common.
This isn't quite the same because it doesn't involve bringing distrust out into the open in an existing social relationship. But, to answer anyway, I stay far away from them because I know it will be awkward, and as much as I'd like to help them I simply can't afford to throw money away like that over every passing emotional response. It's more complicated trying to distance yourself from people you're already in regular contact with, but what must be done must be done.
sartresue wrote:
Invader wrote:
[I wonder if you would have gotten along so well if he had been honest about his destination and job, whether or not a friendship would have developed etc. The things which people would like to believe, which make them vulnerable to such deception, are often just as interesting as the wild schemes which are dreamed up to take advantage of the preferential desire to believe in such things.
I've only ever fallen for the "my friend is selling that thing you're after, give me the money and I'll go over to his place and buy it for you". It's a simple one but the way I fell for it was strange. I didn't entirely believe that the person would come back but I had no idea how to refuse without violating some perceived social boundary or something. Maybe AS had something to do with the awkwardness I felt in just saying "no, I don't believe you". It was only a small amount of money, so stupidly enough I just came to the decision that it would be easier to just take the risk of letting him go "buy" the thing from his friend, instead of burning out the circuits in my brain by trying to figure out how I was supposed to handle this kind of social interaction.
Needless to say, I have never fallen for it again. Well, I never really "fell for it" the first time, I just thought the risk was a better option than the tangled social mess, but ever since then I have simply said "no, it's alright, I don't really need it" whether it shows a blatant lack of trust or not. It seems like the obvious choice now, but hindsight is 20/20. This kind of response to friendly offers probably does some harm in relationships to honest people, if they do indeed exist, but oh well.
I've only ever fallen for the "my friend is selling that thing you're after, give me the money and I'll go over to his place and buy it for you". It's a simple one but the way I fell for it was strange. I didn't entirely believe that the person would come back but I had no idea how to refuse without violating some perceived social boundary or something. Maybe AS had something to do with the awkwardness I felt in just saying "no, I don't believe you". It was only a small amount of money, so stupidly enough I just came to the decision that it would be easier to just take the risk of letting him go "buy" the thing from his friend, instead of burning out the circuits in my brain by trying to figure out how I was supposed to handle this kind of social interaction.
Needless to say, I have never fallen for it again. Well, I never really "fell for it" the first time, I just thought the risk was a better option than the tangled social mess, but ever since then I have simply said "no, it's alright, I don't really need it" whether it shows a blatant lack of trust or not. It seems like the obvious choice now, but hindsight is 20/20. This kind of response to friendly offers probably does some harm in relationships to honest people, if they do indeed exist, but oh well.
Bold analysis topic
You put into words what had happened to me many, many years ago, more than once. I had no idea how to explain why I went along with it. Thank you.
At my age (finally) I do not fall for such thinly disguised mini-scams. I am sorry it happened to you, but at least you know now.
I also find it very confusing trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do when I know someone is lying to me, in general, scam or no scam. You'd think it should be pretty straightforward, but for some reason it isn't. Just saying "you're lying" opens a whole can of rotten worms, and not saying anything usually means you have to end up getting into an even worse mess by going along with their lies.
I hadn't even considered that this problem might have been related to AS, until now. I suppose it's unlikely that doctors are going to test for the ability to deal with liars, NTs in general seem to be fond of lies and probably wouldn't be open about their level of skill in that area, or even admit to the apparent importance of such skills in society.
It makes things complicated while doing university papers, I can tell you that for free. The amount of lies and falsehoods which they expect you to recite back to them is astounding and quite difficult at times.
09 Sep 2010, 3:29 am
09 Sep 2010, 5:55 pm
