Can you manipuate people?

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Well, we are talking about psychological manipulation here so here is a description on Wikipedia (link!).

The positive variant of it, even though it still can be used for manipulative purposes:



I ocassionly use my social influence to get things done at people, I'd be a good manipulator if my principals weren't in the way . Can do 1 and 2 - 3 on the other hand is a bridge to far.

Not really. It is against my disposition in that I operate at face value. If I want something I either ask for it or I obtain it myself. I have no reason to try to manipulate.

I have thought about this question before. I just don't think I would be able to do it. And if I did it I don't think I would be good at it. The other people would figure out what I was doing and beat me at it.

It requires too much understanding of people. I also think it would be a big waste of time anyway. I wouldn't want to do it either because it is underhand and cruel.

@dreamwalker. No I didnt aim anything, Im just not covinced about your statement, it generalizes and doesnt build on facts.
When Im with my aspie friends, we dont need anything "appropriate" to say, but we can have very deep and interesting conversations, also about personal stuff and psycology, we can also laugh a lot (thats the main thing we are doing) and we have a good understanding of the social situation between us, without having to adapt to rules.

Sorry, I have no time to write more right now, its a very interesting thread anyway.
And no bad feelings please ! !

@ Maje: I was refering to manipulation in this way. Making someone believe something is "lying" to me.

"Real manipulation" in my understanding is making people do/don't do something according to your wishes without them realising. This usually requires you to know their wishes, believes, hopes, fears etc as well as the effect that certain situations have for them, so that you can apply to this.
What you described in your post doesn't need too much of insight into peoples minds, just a general idea of how people think.

Yes. I am very observant about people and I am good at finding out what people's buttons are and pushing them. I am also good at figuring out what they want to hear. Also, I keep my ears open and my mouth shut. You learn a lot that way that you can use to your advantage.

Let me preface by saying people who do not understand the book think it is horrible (they are naive at best), but if you want to learn about timeless social dynamics, perceived and real control and manipulation, read Machiavelli. Start with the Prince and then read the Discorsi. Then after Machiavelli, read Plunkitt of Tammany Hall

It is well worth you time. Can you tell I study and teach political theory?

I'm not good at manipulating people, even though I'm not morally opposed to it.

But by the same token, they are not good at manipulating me, either. I take anything anyone says to me and automatically analyze it logically. I do this without really trying, it's just natural for me. Subtle praise or insults are interpreted as being "True" or "False" and lack an emotional component. If the person doing it was expecting me to be upset or pleased, they're out of luck. Instead I'll automatically begin to discuss the veracity of their statements. Because of this I've been called "the most stubborn person alive" despite the fact that I'm not especially stubborn out of any emotional need to be stubborn; I just won't accept statements that are untrue, though you can change my mind through logical argument.

Ive actually been able to do it. Gotta analyze the persons habits and mannerisms in order to overcome the social issues.

Same here. I have a conscious desire and intent to *not* manipulate people, yet I often choose my own actions based on how I already know the other person is going to act ... and sometimes I will do things in ways I believe will assure the other person does *not* do anything he or she would not normally do as an act of his or her own will ... but then even that occasionally seems manipulative since it can leave the other person in a position of having to consciously make a decision about something rather than just "going with the flow" somewhat mindlessly (as usual).

The old movie "The Earthling" comes to mind here, where the old man very consciously manipulated the youg boy into learning things he (the boy) needed to survive ... and did he really do that for the boy's survival or just to put his own mind at ease, or a little of both?

To deny manipulation is to deny our common need for and affect upon each other.

Manipulation seems to be nothing more than a form of persuasive behavior which could indicates to the person attempted to being manipulated to be convinced that she/he should do something. However, there are people that sociopaths would rarely target if ever such as certain schizoid individuals, least persuasive kind of people,and some people who knows that they are manipulative meaning they won't care for what they have to say. Sociopaths would most likely target the ones who they can feel as they can manipulate and they wouldn't go for the ones which are literally impossible or serves no purpose to achieving their goals.

It's eat or be eaten. Abandon the slave morals, you'll be happier without them. The whole North American LIFESTYLE is morally wrong and hurts countless people all around the world.
Morals are subjective anyway, if you eat meat then that is sickeningly "morally" wrong. Morals are an illusion created from strong emotional response.



If that's what you believe then it will become true. You are setting up dangerous psychological barriers.

I have been told that I can be manipulative, but usually it's when I've been trying to avoid a confrontation over something. If I really set out to try and manipulate someone into doing something I want, I'm usually so bad at it that the entire attempt is painful.

Just as with lying, I can, depending on how I plan it out.

I only lie or manipulate if it's for the good of myself and everyone else. For example, like not letting my parents know about my wandering mind, and the religious beliefs that come as a result of it - they're just naturally people who are quick to judge and argue. Knowing about it hurts them because they fear (for some reason?) that me being "wrong" will doom me somehow, stressing them. I don't even need to get into the psychological scars that happen when I tell the truth for them. Both sides get hurt. It's always for the good of everyone, in most cases.

I also did this a lot when I had to lie about a few other things in the past. If the truth ever came out, it would be worse.

It's not fun and it's painful, though.

Morality? I don't even know the definition of the word to me. I just do whatever I can to prevent anything bad happening to anyone - and in some cases me, though I'm less caring towards whether I get hurt or not. Whatever I can do to prevent the tears of living beings.

That's a fantastic quote right there.

No, I cannot, even if I wanted to (which I don't). Manipulation involves being charming and having enough understanding of other people to say things that will have the desired effect on them.

Unless you mean physical manipulation of their limbs and/or spine, in which case, I suppose I could if they would let me but I don't know if it would end well.

Commercials manipulate. Manipulation can be when somebody convince you about a way of thinking or gives you an opinion, and it can only work on people who agree before they think for them selves, or: who doesnt have any opinions about the theme, and therefore need time to think about it. I belong to the last group, but I have grown up and decided for myself that I dont want to waste my time on something thats irrelevant for me, so Its hard to manipulate me now. I have a big lack of opinions on every corner, and that makes it interesting to me. Why is it even relevant to consider if something if more cool than another thing?
If somebody sais that its ridiculous to do/say/wear something now, I just think: aha, so now I know how this person thinks, but I wont answer, cause I am not agreeing and its way out of my field of interest to discuss.

But what I mean is, that I can have a lot of fun with it, because I think its the top of stupidity to have a big meaning about a very unimportant theme, and that is funny if you have somebody that understands the humor!

Last edited by Maje on 06 Nov 2010, 11:56 am, edited 1 time in total.