Keeping your special interest under control?

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I agree that I need focus and structure, and don't intend to live this way forever.

The main problem, over anything, preventing me from getting a job is that I immediately stand out to my co-workers no matter what I'm doing for a job. I had a job doing shipping and receiving where I overheard the two bosses say they only were keeping me there so my brother didn't quit.

I'm at a point in my life where I realize people talk about people, but I can't deal with that type of daily putdown. I improved my body language, eye contact, posture, etc., so when I'm out in public, the average joe doesn't notice me for a bad reason...but as soon as someone sees me for more than a second, if they are judgmental, they are quick to make fun of me because they notice I'm "different" and awkward.

If I had to deal with that type of harassment daily, I'd likely end up in a hospital even with the medicine.

That being said, my parents are moving within the next year or two to a quiet area, where I should be able to find a job just working at a not-so-busy used bookstore or something.

The main thing with me is that I'm wasting my talent as a musician, not even playing my instruments at home, let alone persuing a new band. When I'm in a band, I'm happy, but it's a lot like going to the gym or finding a date...the hardest part is getting yourself to do it.

My special interests are pretty harmless but pointless and time consuming. Personally I like reading maps and writing lists. I also feel a sense of fulfillment from picking lint off clothing.

I know a lot of people with ADD and depression. It's easy for me to fall into depression too. Sometimes I can tell when I'm seriously lacking in dopamine.
Best advice I can give is read about CBT. I use it for anxiety but depression is covered too.

I think the special interests I need to keep to myself are my obsessions with The Master from Doctor Who and Uranium (or any nuclear weapon). Talking about being Master of the Universe and threatening to destroy Earth with a Neutron bomb gets some, uhh, weird reactions.
It's quite strange though. I'm usually a placid person yet I have a soft spot for tyrants and nuclear weapons.

It takes a lot of hard work. I'm ready to give up. I shouldn't censor myself just because of one person.

Kinks Kinks Kinks Kinks

My current interest (computers) i've had for about ten years, and it's been of use for myself and others, so I've never really had to control this interest, especially in later years. I've learned pretty much everything there is to know about them, meaning I can fix about 99% of the computers I get to fix. The really magical part is telling a computer to do something, which is why I like to learn different programming languages as well.

One thing holds me back, though. I suck at telling how my programs work... for me it's like riding a bike. You just do it without knowing how or why you do it really...

The first real special interest I had was a split between geography and politics. At the time I could tell the capital of nearly every country on the planet and their respective prime ministers/dictators/kings and queens. This changed into dinosaurs when I was about 5 or 6. this held up for a year more or less and I changed my view to astronomy along with the particle physics needed to understand how much of it worked. When I was about 9 or 10, it changed to human antonomy and medicine, but when I got to the point of being able to tell that it's never lupus, I turned to the ancient Egypt, especially their religion and their gods. In the end I found my place with computers, and knowing it was actually a useful interest, I kept going

Uh I lived on my own with depression. I just lived through it and I still went to work and everything. So for a while I never understood why people got lazy during their depression and refusing to go to work. Then I got told about how chemical imbalance is different than environmental depression. Mine was just caused by my ex and then I was happier when I wasn't with him anymore and it was also caused by being single and hating where I lived. When I was with my ex, I was starting to get dumb at work and spacing out what people were telling me and I was getting forgetful and I got told that's depression. I learned gosh no wonder people with it can't keep a job and why they get fired. But luckily my boss was patient and when I dumped him, she said she knew I'd get smart. But I still worked despite that depression. I always saw myself as strong and not letting things stop me like depression. Same as when I went to work upset because I had hit my dog with my car but I got sent home. I bet most people would have just stayed home after hitting their dog because they be too worried so they'd call in sick.

But with AS and ADD for me, I can still keep working and keep a job. Man everything about me must be mild and I am always getting through things and being tough. But yet when I was 16, my depression was known to be moderate and I didn't know it was that bad. I still went to school and did my normal things and it didn't stop me from showering or anything. I didn't have a job then of course because I was only 16 and they don't need to be working unless they want to make more money and be saving up for college.

I never found out how bad my ADD is so I always assume mild since I don't feel effected by it and I sometimes wonder if I was one of those kids misdiagnosed in the 90's. After all it was over diagnosed then and they may have mistaken my AS traits and sensory issues as ADD. Even ADHD was suspected for me but I never got diagnosed with it. Just ADD. At least they were that smart.

I find as one interest bomes stronger, the other ones get to be put on the back-burner, for a while, at least. But they never really disappear, for me.

+1000

I had to learn to keep my special interests under control when I was a teenager. My aunt was the one who taught me how to 'read' people and what cues to look for such as looking away or that awkward silence after I say something to know that I should probably change the topic now. Also, she helped me try and follow the thread of conversation, though, admittedly it's still difficult especially if the topic changes frequently or there are several going at once. My aunt also likened special interests to web-pages: There's the main page (current special interest) and then links within that (topics related to said special interest) to explore. At the time, my interest was the life and presidency of John F. Kennedy and so she helped me learn about related things such as US government, the Cold War, 1960's culture, etc.

I still use these tactics and it tends to work. Though I totally had an awkward moment last night with friends when I made a remark related to my current interest and everyone was like, "Huh?" and I felt like a dork, but then my friends told me, "Hey don't feel like a dork, everyone has those moments." Which brings up a point: Having a good support system is crucial for dealing with special interests and getting them under control.

The ironic thing is, when I'm out in public, I think about women less (and rarely see a woman I'd be excited to sleep with, let alone want to date)...but all the other problems of being an Aspie take shape. When I'm home, my mind is just madly obsessed with women...everything about them. So it's a catch-22.

I made the choice that dealing with the thinking about women obsession is the better option than being in public, getting made fun of, feeling uncomfortable and bored.

There is medicine my doctor said for obsessive interests called anaphranil, but the number one side effect is suicidal thoughts for people with depression, and that's the last thing I need.

Your doctor is wrong. Anafranil is an OCD medication (the first OCD medication, actually). It won't work for your AS obsessiveness, most likely. I have both OCD (pure obsessional kind) and AS. I've been on Anafranil, my miracle drug for OCD, for two years now, and my special interests are just as intense as they always have been. Whatever biochemically causes AS special interests and their obsessiveness, it clearly is a different biochemical cause than OCD obsessiveness.

As for controlling one's special interests, I see no need to do so unless you are so wrapped up in your special interests that you are neglecting school and/or work. I embrace my special interests. I love having them, and it makes having AS fun. I'm with PunkyKat and CockneyRebel in that I will never give up my special interests, and I don't care who thinks I'm weird because of them.
-OddDuckNash99-

This is Mike, he wants to know why you want me to stop loving him and his kind.

If lions can love meerkats, why can't autistic people?




"Compare the what?"

Last edited by PunkyKat on 25 Nov 2010, 12:56 am, edited 1 time in total.

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It's a good thing I live in Texas, and not Kansas because I would be public enemy number one.

I wonder if the person who stole this one had AS but I really think it was a dare. The zoo director is the real idot. If I was going to steal a meerkat from a zoo, I would have a carefully planned stragety. I've considered jumping barriers in meerkat exhibits to play with them but if I was going to steal one, I'd steal them all. Why didn't they have a cover over the cage in the first palce to prevent birds of prey from taking them?

I'm considering moving to the UK or South Africa where it is legal to keep them as pets. Don't try and convince me on what horrible pets they make. Someone tell Jack and Millia's owners what horrible pets they are. Their owner admits they are nippy and agressive to people who they don't know but that's just one of the things that makes them so appealing to me. I was obsessed with meerkats YEARS before Meerkat Manor and Compare the Meerkat isn't even aired in my country. I would be more qualified to care for a meerkat than any zoo because I know so much about them. I'd naturaly have more than one and if I did only have one it would be with me constantly. Why do pet tigers and such seem so much more happy than ones in zoos? The two meerkats at the zoo in Cincinati haven't been there very long and they are already begining to develop phycosis. Anyway, I know I could care for a meerkat of my own for the rest of it's life. I plan to become a vet and be a meerkat expert and zoos all over the world will be lining up to have me treat their meerkats. I could never do that if I actualy let people tell me I couldn't be obsessed with meerkats anymore. It's that simple[i]s[/i