Autism breakdowns, what has helped you get over them?

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My whole life, I've had quite a few periods where I've just shut down completely. My former psychiatrist diagnosed me with Major Depression/Recurring Episodes. Now I'm starting to think that I have been shutting down because the stress of trying to charge through everything no matter how much anxiety I'm feeling. Then stomach problems, insomnia, moodiness, til finally I'm spending lots of time"in my happy place." (spacing out on the computer,not talking if I don't have to)

Co-occuring depression and AS, or depression because of AS? The chicken and the egg.

Not sure if I have any good advice yet.

haha I know what you mean, I think its AS that triggers it for me personally. Like when I am very sick, like really feverish with a flu or something my AS seems to wither away and die, and i feel clarity and I feel no longer on edge, and although I am sick, there's this relief, this breathe, and if thats how NT's feel, I can see why they get depressed less often.

That said I do love my AS for many reasons, *reassures her pet AS* its ok AS mommy still loves u,

Wow, Brown06, Grad school is definitely not an ideal place for a breakdown And btw, I think Temple Grandin actually took some time off (like a semester or something) during her master's program because she was stressing out a lot and a stats class pushed her over the edge. I think she wrote about it in her biography.... oh dang.... I feel like a NERD for knowing that....

ANYHOO... first of all, congrats for making it into grad school That's said from someone who just completed her master's I had a mini-breakdown my 1st year of grad school. Adjusting to the workload is intense PLUS I had a less-than-ideal roommate situation PLUS I was trying to help my mom deal with some stuff on her end PLUS I was dealing with some complicated grief issues PLUS some other adjustment issues. Unfortunately, I did not handle things very well and ended up with some pretty major self-injury issues.

Here's what currently helps me now and if I could go back, here's what I would tell myself:

1. Make sure you have a good support system that understands / is knowledgeable about autism and who you can lean on.
2. Low dose anti-depressants really do work. I take zoloft 25mg / day and it really helps anxiety.
3. You might do well taking some time off or reducing your schedule to just process through this whole diagnosis process. Yes, it does really make you shift the way you think about yourself, especially if you're achievement focused (happened to me). Getting a counselor - also who knows about autism - helps. I kinda grilled mine about things before I started working with her. Also, it's good you're working with the resources on campus so they can (hopefully) work with your professors. Yeah, it's odd that your school of ed isn't taking your dx seriously. Maybe they still see you as different than their research subjects because you're in grad school and you're expected to fulfill the role of researcher instead of subject.
4. Ok - this is my current special interest coming out - but I'd encourage you to read more about Temple Grandin and/or other people on the spectrum that HAVE made it through stuff like grad school and/or getting a career. Knowing someone else made it and has dealt with the same challenges you have is really freeing. It shows that God has a plan and purpose for your life regardless of your limitations.
5. And I don't know what you do spiritually, but I prayed a lot

Hope that helps! Good luck with grad school!

Don't worry about your achievements. Whatever happens happens, worrying about it isn't going to help. Rather focus on relaxing and getting rid of the stress, reevaluate what you're spending your time & effort on. It's not the end of the world, you don't need As to be happy

I had a breakdown a few years ago, which led to dropping out of school & getting diagnosed. I've since started studying and am looking at living by myself, but most importantly I have a much clearer view of what I will and won't do. I've found better ways to deal with things, learned to be content with myself instead of constantly pushing myself to be something else. Health & happiness is more important than achievement.

thanks so much for that. I know I thought seeing Temple Grandin's movie would make me feel better about myself the way Aspergirls did, all it did was make me think WTF how does SHE do it and shes clearly much worse than I am??

Like all the humiliation and the alienation and the hostility she faced, she went back each day for more punishment, I wouldve shriveled up and died.

So it just made me feel kinda worse about myself.


I wish i had faith, if I prayed I'd just be fooling myself and it would make me realize how dire things are and i'd be back at stage 1, panic.

I have tried to be as clear with everyone in my dept about my dx, I am willing to write up a 200 page report about it if it will help, too many times in the past I have tried to suck it up and deal with it, and all that does is leave me sobbing in a corner while people treat me like s**t bc they assume I am just lazy and indifferent.

So I have taken the stance that if I am paying 50k a year, these jerks can suck it up and deal with my dx for 2 years, because its MY education,I am paying a fortune for it and its MINE to get and MINE to oversee and MINE to make sure it works for ME. No one else has a say in that, unless my professors sign for my loans, they can forget about trying to control how I go about my grad degree

Yeah im not so concerned about another degree, I am concerned about investing so much money and finding myself buried in loans for a degree i never got, therefore not eligible to get the job I was supposed to get that forgives all my loans. I feel like if i fail here I will end up drowning in a sea of debt and eating nothing but dented cans of corn pudding