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When people make you feel like you have a choice.

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missykrissy
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06 Dec 2010, 10:29 pm

pensieve wrote:
missykrissy wrote:
you should be on something to help control your seizures. that being said, you are 24 years old and would probably be happier about where your life is going if you did gain some independance. there is no reason to relie on mom to make your doctors appointments for you or to drive you there. her responsibility for you ended when you became an adult at 18. i understand that it's a big step but working towards independance is probably a good goal to set. if you don't like the doctor she picked then find your own. if you don't want to use her medicaid card, then go on disability and get your own. as for other people not 'caring' or 'wanting to help' you probably look scary to them while you are going through your meltdown and they don't want to intrude on you and have you take it out on them or make things worse for you.

When I was 18 I didn't even know how to catch a bus or read a timetable.
I am on disability but I'm not sure if that's enough.
I can't just go to the doctor's office. It's a 2 hour walk. I don't even know if a bus stops near there. Taxi's are too damn expensive in my town.
And I've said it again and again when I'm near a lot of people my mental functioning decreases. That can at times include speech and almost always includes motor skills.


you could always set it as a long term goal. i didn't mean do it right away. it's something to work towards. it's important to have goals so you know what you are working towards and can figure out what steps(baby-steps maybe?) to take to get there. there must be bus schedules available online or in the phone book so you can figure out what bus to go on when you get to the terminal and which stop to get off at. maybe have someone else go with you if you feel it would be safer but still be more independant from your mother.



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06 Dec 2010, 10:32 pm

missykrissy wrote:
pensieve wrote:
missykrissy wrote:
you should be on something to help control your seizures. that being said, you are 24 years old and would probably be happier about where your life is going if you did gain some independance. there is no reason to relie on mom to make your doctors appointments for you or to drive you there. her responsibility for you ended when you became an adult at 18. i understand that it's a big step but working towards independance is probably a good goal to set. if you don't like the doctor she picked then find your own. if you don't want to use her medicaid card, then go on disability and get your own. as for other people not 'caring' or 'wanting to help' you probably look scary to them while you are going through your meltdown and they don't want to intrude on you and have you take it out on them or make things worse for you.

When I was 18 I didn't even know how to catch a bus or read a timetable.
I am on disability but I'm not sure if that's enough.
I can't just go to the doctor's office. It's a 2 hour walk. I don't even know if a bus stops near there. Taxi's are too damn expensive in my town.
And I've said it again and again when I'm near a lot of people my mental functioning decreases. That can at times include speech and almost always includes motor skills.


you could always set it as a long term goal. i didn't mean do it right away. it's something to work towards. it's important to have goals so you know what you are working towards and can figure out what steps(baby-steps maybe?) to take to get there. there must be bus schedules available online or in the phone book so you can figure out what bus to go on when you get to the terminal and which stop to get off at. maybe have someone else go with you if you feel it would be safer but still be more independant from your mother.


are you ignoring the part about there people people on the bus? also it's spelled independent not independant



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06 Dec 2010, 10:36 pm

Hello pensieve :)

I am sorry about your mom's reaction, it seems it is often the people closest to us (i.e. closest as in family or living with us) who know us the least.

It looks to me like she doesn't understand at all what you are going through. Like at the party if someone had just stayed with you and at least try to understand, it would have made it easier on you.

I was wondering, is the doctor you are talking about the same as the one who diagnosed AS?

I found this website, maybe someone there would be able to suggest a good doctor who would actually know how to help, it says they are in your area and there is phone numbers on this page, and you can also contact them by email if you prefer (infoline@autismspectrum.org.au) http://www.autismspectrum.org.au/a2i2i1 ... n-line.htm

Found this too: Autism Aspergers Advocacy Australia
email: cnvnr@a4.org.au


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07 Dec 2010, 12:04 am

missykrissy wrote:
pensieve wrote:
missykrissy wrote:
you should be on something to help control your seizures. that being said, you are 24 years old and would probably be happier about where your life is going if you did gain some independance. there is no reason to relie on mom to make your doctors appointments for you or to drive you there. her responsibility for you ended when you became an adult at 18. i understand that it's a big step but working towards independance is probably a good goal to set. if you don't like the doctor she picked then find your own. if you don't want to use her medicaid card, then go on disability and get your own. as for other people not 'caring' or 'wanting to help' you probably look scary to them while you are going through your meltdown and they don't want to intrude on you and have you take it out on them or make things worse for you.

When I was 18 I didn't even know how to catch a bus or read a timetable.
I am on disability but I'm not sure if that's enough.
I can't just go to the doctor's office. It's a 2 hour walk. I don't even know if a bus stops near there. Taxi's are too damn expensive in my town.
And I've said it again and again when I'm near a lot of people my mental functioning decreases. That can at times include speech and almost always includes motor skills.


you could always set it as a long term goal. i didn't mean do it right away. it's something to work towards. it's important to have goals so you know what you are working towards and can figure out what steps(baby-steps maybe?) to take to get there. there must be bus schedules available online or in the phone book so you can figure out what bus to go on when you get to the terminal and which stop to get off at. maybe have someone else go with you if you feel it would be safer but still be more independant from your mother.

I have caught the bus before. Hate them. Yes, I could plan it all but I think I'll just get my mum to take me. It's a simple 10 minute drive and she likes my doctor.
I do have goals but they've all fallen apart. I was doing good trying to get a job but then it never worked out. And I'm talking years and years of disappointment. I suppose if I do get that job interview I'm waiting for and get a job things would get a little bit better.
I think I'm a little independent from my mum. She's gone away for up to three weeks and I've had to cook for myself. She's not cooked me a meal in awhile so I have to do that. And I have to keep the house clean. I used to always go to the city for concerts but it all got too stressful. I definitely don't want to give that up but if I get worse I may have to.
Shadi2 wrote:
Hello pensieve :)

I am sorry about your mom's reaction, it seems it is often the people closest to us (i.e. closest as in family or living with us) who know us the least.

It looks to me like she doesn't understand at all what you are going through. Like at the party if someone had just stayed with you and at least try to understand, it would have made it easier on you.

I was wondering, is the doctor you are talking about the same as the one who diagnosed AS?

I found this website, maybe someone there would be able to suggest a good doctor who would actually know how to help, it says they are in your area and there is phone numbers on this page, and you can also contact them by email if you prefer (infoline@autismspectrum.org.au) http://www.autismspectrum.org.au/a2i2i1 ... n-line.htm

Found this too: Autism Aspergers Advocacy Australia
email: cnvnr@a4.org.au

Nope. I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist, out of town. He's hard to get to.
Thanks, I'll check out the link.


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07 Dec 2010, 12:23 am

Quote:
I was wondering, is the doctor you are talking about the same as the one who diagnosed AS?

I found this website, maybe someone there would be able to suggest a good doctor who would actually know how to help, it says they are in your area and there is phone numbers on this page, and you can also contact them by email if you prefer (infoline@autismspectrum.org.au) http://www.autismspectrum.org.au/a2i2i1 ... n-line.htm

Found this too: Autism Aspergers Advocacy Australia
email: cnvnr@a4.org.au


Quote:
Nope. I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist, out of town. He's hard to get to.
Thanks, I'll check out the link.


Sigh sorry. I kind of figured it must have been a different person because a person who is experienced with AS would know how to help more, or at least I would hope. Why do they always have to be far :(


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Shadi2
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07 Dec 2010, 12:29 am

I just thought of something else too, sometimes they have volunteers who will go pick up people and take them to the doctor, you could ask if they know people who would do that.


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07 Dec 2010, 12:46 am

Sorry to get in the middle of this but missykrissy, I think at the moment the most important for pensieve is to find someone who can help with the issues she has right now, its difficult to set an independance goal in the present situation. Also I am sure you mean well, but you are forming an opinion on what she should do based on her biological age, and I don't think you should. No offense, just my opinion.

missykrissy wrote:
pensieve wrote:
missykrissy wrote:
you should be on something to help control your seizures. that being said, you are 24 years old and would probably be happier about where your life is going if you did gain some independance. there is no reason to relie on mom to make your doctors appointments for you or to drive you there. her responsibility for you ended when you became an adult at 18. i understand that it's a big step but working towards independance is probably a good goal to set. if you don't like the doctor she picked then find your own. if you don't want to use her medicaid card, then go on disability and get your own. as for other people not 'caring' or 'wanting to help' you probably look scary to them while you are going through your meltdown and they don't want to intrude on you and have you take it out on them or make things worse for you.

When I was 18 I didn't even know how to catch a bus or read a timetable.
I am on disability but I'm not sure if that's enough.
I can't just go to the doctor's office. It's a 2 hour walk. I don't even know if a bus stops near there. Taxi's are too damn expensive in my town.
And I've said it again and again when I'm near a lot of people my mental functioning decreases. That can at times include speech and almost always includes motor skills.


you could always set it as a long term goal. i didn't mean do it right away. it's something to work towards. it's important to have goals so you know what you are working towards and can figure out what steps(baby-steps maybe?) to take to get there. there must be bus schedules available online or in the phone book so you can figure out what bus to go on when you get to the terminal and which stop to get off at. maybe have someone else go with you if you feel it would be safer but still be more independant from your mother.


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Alex_M
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07 Dec 2010, 1:19 am

I understand what it's like to get older and find it increasingly harder to deal with events like parties (it doesn't matter if the birthday person is 1 or 100 - it's still stressful for us)!

I am 25 so very close to your age and I know exactly how you feel. While my mother is well meaning, she also seems to view AS behaviour like meltdowns as a "choice". My analysis is that by this age, our parents feel we should be able to "control" these emotions. My parents are almost 60, so they come from a generation in which you would ignore your emotions and "work through them" to get ahead in life.

I believe the way most people did this was by denying the validity of their frustration/depression. This value clashes directly with the openness and candor that Gen Y is known for.

Please, understand that it is not you but the NTs who expect you to conform to the world as it is.


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07 Dec 2010, 5:39 am

There is some clinical evidence that methylphenidate may lower the convulsive threshold (that is, increase the likelihood of seizures) in patients with prior history of seizures, with prior EEG abnormalities in absence of seizures, and very rarely, in absence of history of seizures and no prior EEG evidence of seizures. Safe concomitant use of anticonvulsants and methylphenidate has not been established. In the presence of seizures, the drug should be discontinued.
( source: http://www.wellsphere.com/general-medic ... -adhd/8967 )
it can also cause episodes of chemical psychosis. like, roads out to jump on you?
i don't know how reliable that article is, but i would really be cautious with that . there is an alternative to ritaline i forgot the name of, that doesn't inrease blood pressure ( i was looking into it for my son who has cardiac problems ) wait i'll look it up:
http://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/guide/adh ... gs-therapy strattera and intuniv.
maybe you should ask about that.
about your mother's reaction welll.....she sounds a lot like mine. i want to party so well, deal with your problem silently please. it is very selfish, i knoow there is no way i can make you feel better about her attitude...but the fact that we understand that she was not acting the best she probably could or should have might make you feel less alone in this.


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07 Dec 2010, 5:55 am

ediself wrote:
There is some clinical evidence that methylphenidate may lower the convulsive threshold (that is, increase the likelihood of seizures) in patients with prior history of seizures, with prior EEG abnormalities in absence of seizures, and very rarely, in absence of history of seizures and no prior EEG evidence of seizures. Safe concomitant use of anticonvulsants and methylphenidate has not been established. In the presence of seizures, the drug should be discontinued.
( source: http://www.wellsphere.com/general-medic ... -adhd/8967 )
it can also cause episodes of chemical psychosis. like, roads out to jump on you?
i don't know how reliable that article is, but i would really be cautious with that . there is an alternative to ritaline i forgot the name of, that doesn't inrease blood pressure ( i was looking into it for my son who has cardiac problems ) wait i'll look it up:
http://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/guide/adh ... gs-therapy strattera and intuniv.
maybe you should ask about that.
about your mother's reaction welll.....she sounds a lot like mine. i want to party so well, deal with your problem silently please. it is very selfish, i knoow there is no way i can make you feel better about her attitude...but the fact that we understand that she was not acting the best she probably could or should have might make you feel less alone in this.

Hmm, Strattera is known to cause motor tics and sleep disturbances. And I have delayed sleep phase syndrome.
I have had minor seizures with shutdowns before being on Ritalin. I'm sure if I had had as many energy drinks or soft drink cans as normal people I would have still had a seizure.
I don't think it was psychosis that caused me thinking the road was going to land on me but my already poor spatial awareness which was made worse by a shutdown.


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07 Dec 2010, 7:50 am

Usually those stupid choices are, "We can go home right now, or we can stay and you can enjoy yourself!" I have qualms about being around the mainstream types of NTs, for that reason.


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missykrissy
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07 Dec 2010, 9:15 am

torako wrote:
are you ignoring the part about there people people on the bus? also it's spelled independent not independant


thank you, spelling police. god forbid someone make a spelling mistake. i figure it's good enough if you can read it, especially since i just wrote a test and a paper to get my GED instead of going to highschool where i didn't fit in and hated everyone around me. i'm a stay at home mother and i really don't need to spell everything perfectly since no one else around here knows how to read.
and no, i was not ignoring the fact that there are people on the bus. but while you are picking on my spelling i will point out that you made a massive grammar error in your post. i get that it's hard for her to be around people and that it causes problems but totally isolating oneself does not help either. there is no way to avoid situations where there are people around unless you force yourself to be housebound. that is why i suggested she bring along someone she trusts to make the trip easier/safer.



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07 Dec 2010, 2:47 pm

missykrissy wrote:
torako wrote:
are you ignoring the part about there people people on the bus? also it's spelled independent not independant


thank you, spelling police. god forbid someone make a spelling mistake. i figure it's good enough if you can read it, especially since i just wrote a test and a paper to get my GED instead of going to highschool where i didn't fit in and hated everyone around me. i'm a stay at home mother and i really don't need to spell everything perfectly since no one else around here knows how to read.
and no, i was not ignoring the fact that there are people on the bus. but while you are picking on my spelling i will point out that you made a massive grammar error in your post. i get that it's hard for her to be around people and that it causes problems but totally isolating oneself does not help either. there is no way to avoid situations where there are people around unless you force yourself to be housebound. that is why i suggested she bring along someone she trusts to make the trip easier/safer.


if no one here can read, then how the hell am i responding to you RIGHT NOW? spelling is important!
if you don't understand a person's situation, don't act like you do. neurotypicals always think they know how we feel and you DON'T. your stupid "empathy" doesn't make you superior, especially since it really only works with other neurotypicals.



missykrissy
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07 Dec 2010, 2:53 pm

torako wrote:
missykrissy wrote:
torako wrote:
are you ignoring the part about there people people on the bus? also it's spelled independent not independant


thank you, spelling police. god forbid someone make a spelling mistake. i figure it's good enough if you can read it, especially since i just wrote a test and a paper to get my GED instead of going to highschool where i didn't fit in and hated everyone around me. i'm a stay at home mother and i really don't need to spell everything perfectly since no one else around here knows how to read.
and no, i was not ignoring the fact that there are people on the bus. but while you are picking on my spelling i will point out that you made a massive grammar error in your post. i get that it's hard for her to be around people and that it causes problems but totally isolating oneself does not help either. there is no way to avoid situations where there are people around unless you force yourself to be housebound. that is why i suggested she bring along someone she trusts to make the trip easier/safer.


if no one here can read, then how the hell am i responding to you RIGHT NOW? spelling is important!
if you don't understand a person's situation, don't act like you do. neurotypicals always think they know how we feel and you DON'T. your stupid "empathy" doesn't make you superior, especially since it really only works with other neurotypicals.


if you couldn't read the word independant then how would you know i meant independent?



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07 Dec 2010, 3:15 pm

nvm ;) i got it. erased post.


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Last edited by ediself on 07 Dec 2010, 4:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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07 Dec 2010, 3:48 pm

I can do without the "You NT's" rants, thank you.


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