How do I cope with my brothers autism?

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Everyone has given me a lot to think about - thank you for your replies.

I hadn't ever considered diet as a factor, but will talk to my mother about it. She will probably, as ever, umm and arr about it and not actually do anything.

I remember being a pain at 16 but nothing like this. Hormones, school stress and playing way too many games is also a factor. Again today, I had a shower at 7:30 this morning (which was when he was planning to have one and I was not aware) and he started kicking the door and being verbally abusive, calling me selfish.

I can stay with a friend but it's only temporary.

I think your mother should take him to teraphy. Parents have a responsibilty to give their children medical help when they need it, if they don't give their children help or do something about the situation on their own, they actually harm them. A therapist would know in what way they could help him, and in that way help you. It's one thing to call the police, but another to get their children sufficient help. I hope your situation improves, and good luck with your studies and everything.

Therapy is completely useless if it's not tailored to suit a severely autistic person's level of understanding.

The part I don't get is stabbing someone.

I used to have serious problems with violence and can't imagine myself not having understanding that some autistic people can be violent. But when I was violent, and when most other autistic people I know who struggled with this were violent... it was fists, hands, headbutts, kicks, scratching with fingernails. Picking up a knife (or other pointy object) and stabbing someone with it involves cognitive and planning abilities that most autistic people I've known have no access to during times when they are going to be that violent. (Which is why I have a hard time believing it's a severity issue. You'd have to be a lot less severely affected on a cognitive level than people I'm talking about, to have access to the ability to think well enough to stab someone during times while also being severely violent.) The stabbing part strikes me as meaning something additional is going on besides autism. Because the only autistic people I've known who could think well enough to grab a knife and stab, or similar ideas, were people with something additional and very different going on than typical autism-related violence.

Regina I have had to cope with these issues for over 20 years now, so I understand what you are going through ,it is hard to keep our own feeling under control when such frightening things are happening to us, especially when we ourselves cannot see how to help someone we loved a lot ,then to try and come to terms with hating what is happening to the whole family
my daughter was the first I witnessed and I did not know then what was going on ,I had a beautiful well behaved daughter most of the time .I had always used a fruit juice but money was short for a while when my husband’s place of work went on strike. I opted for a orange fruit squash ,what I did not at first connect was her behaviour changed dramatically ,she was not in control of herself she hit me and punched her grandmother in the head for saying something to her .she kicked the glass out of the front door it was my mother that asked me what had she eaten or drank ,that might have affected her when we all realised it was the additives in the orange squash my daughter was relieved to be back to normal after stopped drinking it .I was so shock by the violence, that a additive could produce, I researched it more and was appalled that so many can cause severe behavioural problems

I have recently given a talk to mother`s who have children with Diagnosed ADHD and autism after following the diet that I asked them to try and explained it was more likely to reduced the severity of the out bursts ,I have been informed it has changed their lives completely .the saddest was the mother who told me she now loved her son again ,and was to afraid to tell me before ,that she had begun to hate him for what he had turned in to diet play the biggest roll in their behaviour ,he still has the odd outburst like in the school had rewarded him with sweets for his good behaviour ?,yes guess what the sweets they gave him some had E110,this is just one of them If you can avoid even some of the brightly coloured ones first it will he will be helped .it was also in many products including some vitamin tablets and trying to avoid gluten and wheat can also help.it might be trial and error but it is worth a try ,my sympathy Regina is with you and all your family x .hope this helps