Crying when angry or defending yourself

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It happens to me as well, and it's humiliating, because I sound like a blubbering baby who has nothing to say in his defense, when actually I do. Even if I know I'm right and have a perfectly logical argument, I can't get it out, or articulate anything for that matter. Fortunately it doesn't happen often, because I longer have to be around people who cause it to happen.

I don't think that there's ever been a time that I didn't cry while angry or defending myself.

Yes, I do it, too. Though, luckily, I have not experiendced enough stress lately (except the one time I cried because both my parents don't understand me like they should and hate each other.) I would cry when I got really angry or overwhelmed. I rarely sad cried. It was all angry crying.

Yep. I'm especially prone to crying when one-on-one with an authority figure.

I'm the same: i cry when i have to face too many authority figures at once, or when i start feeling that they have the wrong idea of me or that whatever i say, they are unable to understand my point of view ; a lot of situations that basically have the same basis. I can't postpone it without shutting down though, i become mute and get accused of not caring . It happened at school two years ago, they had the nerves to ask me if i even cared because it didn't look like it, and said "it's your son we're talking about here!", i had to force myself out of shutdown to answer ANYTHING but answering without crying means i started attacking them back.
Unreasonable authority figures i think is my biggest phobia....

I'm terrified of authority figures, especially cops. I can't watch cop shows anymore. I'm terrified I will freak out if they throw unreasonable directives at me and then get arrested. All authority figures, ie. strong personality types, make me anxious. I can control a meltdown, at work, but then cry all the way home. Same with my family, I can have an incident, get upset and then exit to hide away and cry. After one of those incidents it takes me months to even think about the person and feel safe. The thought of them makes me anxious and upset. It also carries over into the real world, the whole world is a dangerous place.

embarrassing

Oooh ooh me too! It sucks!
My parents say they were scared to talk about something I might possibly take as criticism as a child because I would get so angry.. And cry.
I get frustrated, I cry, criticised, I cry.. Authority figures.. Cry.
Any strong emotion which isn't happy, basically.

I think thats why I have a big fear of confrontation.

Although nowdays I can't seem to cry if I am sad/depressed.. Still gets me when angry or frustrated though.. Strange. If I verbally fight with someone I'll be crying at the same time lol. Its most embarrassing.

I cry often when I'm hungry, in pain, frustrated, or sick. I can't help it. It's particularly annoying when I'm in a public place. If I feel an episode coming on, I usually have to make it to a bathroom or someplace private.

It's been a long time since I had a true meltdown, though. Luckily, I tend to avoid confrontational situations and do my best to not get so overwhelmed.

One piece of advice would just be to monitor yourself closely... usually there are some warning signs before you end up feeling completely overwhelmed.

If you think the situation is getting the best of you, get up, make the hand gesture for "one minute please" (or possibly put your hand over your mouth or stomach like you're sick or you're going to throw up) and race off to the hall, bathroom, or similar private place. If you need to, express your emotions there. Pacing might help too.

In addition, I've also found that expressing "mock anger" in a mirror can also help. Like so, but more exaggerated and more comedic:
http://image.shutterstock.com/display_p ... 750892.jpg

Sometimes you end up just looking so silly that you burst into laughter. My room mate and I also used to practice silent screaming when we were feeling annoyed or frustrated. As in, screaming without much more than your breath coming out. It also looks really silly, so it might cause a similar comedy effect.

The idea being, though, is that you'll want to find someway to snap yourself out of the mood you're in. I know for me, meltdowns are caused in part by repressing emotion. So the solution for me is to express it, but not some place where it's going to get me into trouble. Find what works for you, though. If cartoon expressions don't do it, then find something that does.

I know that especially if you're in a heated argument, it may be pretty difficult to pull away from it. But pulling away might be the only way to "save face". It will also give you some time to collect yourself and formulate your argument.

Aaah I love pacing, I've recently discovered the benefits of this.. The home I am currently renting has a long thin 'patio' area.. I've become very fond of that area, I keep the middle strip of it free of objects so that I can pace back and forth while I analyse and work through things.. Its a good 12 steps long
I also write a lot when I am trying to figure out my feelings and other peoples feelings and actions.. Last weekend I did something good with someone I really shouldn't have done it with and so my pacing space has been very well used... *pace pace pace pace, write write write write, pace pace pace pace....* While I try n figure out my feelings, speculate on the feelings of others and impatiently wait out the repercussions

I used to always watch my dad pace outside while he was on the phone or something, only to realize that I do it too now. But yeah, it definitely helps.

Writing things down is always great, too. I keep telling myself I should keep a journal. I'm always studying people too. They make great research subjects.

I haven't noticed either of my parents pacing.. Apparently I picked that one up myself lol.. and the speed of my pacing is directly in proportion to my distress!
I also pace while on the phone, helps me focus on something I find unpleasant
I've written as long as I can remember, its great therapy.. Has always helped me work through difficult times, understand myself, and get things out of my head when they're swirling so much I can't think straight.
I have a possibly silly tendency to post my writings as blogs Perhaps in the hope that others can relate or something.. Had a webpage for 5 years or so which i started when I was about 15 but the hosting company shut down and I've never gotten around to getting it back up.. All seems rather immature now anyway

Always happens. I'm not very good with confrontation at all.

It's happened in a few very dry & technical work-related situations too and that's really embarrassing, but any time I'm pushed into a defensive position I rapidly get snippy and angry - and then cave in in tears. Doesn't matter if I'm right or wrong about what I'm defending - the simple act of defending it is enough.

Even if I'm trying to describe something which (to me) is profound or very beautiful/meaningful, I get part-way into it and just clog up. I'm left standing there mute, with tears streaming down my face. Also embarrassing.

Sometimes where someone has said something to me which I disagree with, I get accused of being defensive where I was just disagreeing. So then I get defensive about being "permitted" to express a disagreement - and off we go again.

Ugh. Just had this in a family confrontation. The worst part is that, although the confrontation was resolved satisfactorily, I looked like a blubbing idiot crying over a dropped ice cream instead of someone legitimately upset over a real hurt.

I guess I have to live with that.

I admit I cry a lot.

I've always been that way... and I really hate it. My mom thinks I can control it, but I really can't sometimes. I have an incident at school. I had to pick groups for "skits", and I hate picking groups because I hardly have any friends in any of my classes. My group didn't know we could have 5 people, so guess who they decided to kick out? ME. I was trying really hard to hold back tears, and the group could tell. Well, I couldn't hold them back.

Trust me, I've had wayyy too many crying incidents/meltdowns.

I learned a long time ago if I cry I get beat up or made fun of. Its not worth the aggravation to shed a tear over anything.

I wish I had that sort of mindful control over it. If I had any control over it it wouldn't be an issue, really.