Do you need a "cave" of your own to come home to?

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I partially do. My room as close to a cave as it will ever be. Maybe not exactly, one day I need to get a microwave and refrigerator up here, but other than that I've got everything I need.

Last edited by SammichEater on 17 Apr 2011, 2:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I have a room of my own at school. It's OK I guess. I tend to lose my energy while in that room for some reason.

When my boyfriend and I moved into this house, it didn't take long before we agreed that we each needed our own space - so even though we share a bedroom, livingroom, kitchen, dining area, and bathroom, we also have our own "offices" to do with and decorate how we please.

A private "cave" - a place of complete sanctuary - is oh-so-necessary in my life - his too.

Thanks for the replies, everyone! It's fun to read that I'm not the only one.

Yes, family and friends certainly do mean less alone and quiet time. For people, that trade-off is worth it. For others, maybe not so much. I live alone at college right now. I have room mates, but I can still shut and lock my door when I don't want to be bothered. I'll be happy to move away from this place, though, as we get a lot of construction going on. It feels like a war zone at times.

I'm also currently in the process of deciding if I want to move in with my boyfriend. Parts of me are a little concerned about living arrangements. I really do enjoy my alone time, and so does he. Not having a space of my own might be very frustrating. I think I may be more suited to living alone, but I won't know til I give it a try. It'll be interesting to see how it goes.

What do you mean by lose your energy? When you are there, do you feel sleepy or lack motivation?

I have an own flat with two moderately sized rooms, I spend my weekdays there after work. I like to be there, alone. Fortunately nobody tells me to remove my bikes from the flat, or what and when to do. I still have my room at my parents, I had to defend it though. When I lived there, I didn't like any 'intrusion' from my family members, especially when I tinkered with my rigs (they were more or less patient with me). The period in which I had a girlfriend I needed alone time because we did different activities in our spare time. If we had shared the same activities, we would have been more together, I think.

I don't have unexpected visitors. I deal with outside noises by changing to windows with better insulation, fitting insulation on the wall of my bedroom, and listening to music or radio.

Yes i have my room here at my parents house. I need so much alone time and personal space that i worry i can never live with someone else in a relationship. I'd say i'd need at least 6 hours a day by myself. At least.

When I get home I just want to curl up on my bed in the dark. Usually I have to help put away shopping and listen to my mum say something about something that I'm half-listening to. Her boyfriend is there keeping his distance from me. And I just want to go back into my room and lock them all out.
When the room fails I go all the way to the backyard and go inside the granny flat there. Or I turn on the TV and block all noises out.

It is mostly an exhaustion thing with me, but also the constant change has completely thrown me off my routine and I just need to spend a few moments alone to get everything back in order.

I thought I'd like to live in a cave somewhat similar to this. I'd want mine far away from the road though.

http://greenhomesforsale.com/listing.php?id=18195

This place looks seriously cool!

I live alone in a small studio apartment. In the past I've had neighbors who would knock on my door at unpredicible intervals but not now and this is much better. I have my cave. Always, when I was and am with people most of the day I need awake time to lie in the dark secure in the fact that I won't be disturbed. Sleeping time doesn't count. I'll sacrifice sleep for this time.

I live alone in a small studio apartment. In the past I've had neighbors who would knock on my door at unpredicible intervals but not now and this is much better. I have my cave. Always, when I was and am with people most of the day I need awake time to lie in the dark secure in the fact that I won't be disturbed. Sleeping time doesn't count. I'll sacrifice sleep for this time.

That looks fun! I think I'd want to have mine a little closer to civilization, though. As much as I love my alone time, I love my electronics and modern-day conveniences too.

But, they do remind me! My family and I went on a vacation and got a "tour" of one of these:
http://www.domehome.com/

Once again, I dunno if I'd want to live in one of them, but they certainly are interesting! I was also reading about these "green" houses that are essentially built into the land. Think modern-day "hobbit" homes.

Edit:
http://www.ideabounty.com/blog/post/2361/8418/
http://www.simondale.net/house/index.htm
(!)

Mine says batcave on the door.

I am still very new to the forums and to comming to the realization that I am autistic....but it's so astounding that practically every post is like a peek into my life. YES I need that cave, Im comletely fine not interfacing with people for day's, and if Im overbooked I get physically drained, if the neighbors want to talk and I've been out at dr's and doing errands and other stuff, that's it Im toast emotionally raw and very sensititve to noise and overstimulation. Im mother to four, I just lost a child who passed, so I have three kiddo's running around, making noise and this is a daily battle for me. I've found solace in the computer lately, drown out their noise with music and still want to isolate from the social aspects of family. Its way too easy to just be in that cave and I tend to make it wherever I go. I will escape into my mind and tune out the world, I supposed that is one of my stims. Not an average stim but one that i constantly do and have always done. Im so glad i found this planet, finally Im not on the wrongplanet.

Me too. I even bought myself a lap top so I would have my own computer and wouldn't have to share.

It's taken my family a long time but they do now respect my need for a quiet space and (mostly) leave me alone when requested.

I have two places. The first is my bedroom. It is in the quiet part of the house. While my wife and kids are usually in the family room on the first floor in a wing of the house, the bedrooms are on the second floor of the main house. I can meditate/relax/nap/work on the computer/etc. there. I usually put a towel over the window to block out the sunlight. The only problem I have in maintaining this environment is if the kids go to their bedrooms and begin getting on each other's nerves.

The second place is my vintage Airstream camper. I am slowly redecorating it. I want it to become the place where I can work on my writing---like a private office and retreat.

As for unexpected visitors---this is rare, but when it happens, I sometimes hide. I have three main visitors:

1. the Schwann's ice cream/food salesman---he is expected, but since he comes every two weeks, his schedule can be off so you don't know exactly when he is coming. Sometimes if I don't want to see him, my wife will take over. He is very animated and when he knocks on the door he knocks overly loud without stopping until you answer. He has always done this as a part of his humorous way. But sometimes I'm not in the mood for that.

2. our lawn man---he comes once a week to mow the grass, trim, and do landscaping. He isn't bad because he works outside, and we hand him a check. Sometimes he wants to talk.

3. a friend from an old music group I used to travel with---he stops by a couple times a year.

The only family I see (unless it is a funeral, wedding, etc.) is my immediate family or my wife's family. They are fine, and I enjoy seeing them.

Noises---ughhh. I don't like certain noises. I don't like the loud 4-wheelers that often travel the country road beside my house. I don't like the loud semi-trucks that do the gear-down braking in front of our house for the upcoming curve. I don't like the gunshots behind our house as the man makes fine adjustments at his rifle repair workshop. I don't like certain repetitive sounds. Certain commercials on TV are terrible for me---the Progressive insurance lady, the Outback steakhouse false Australian accent guy (I don't think he is Australian), etc.

When I was growing up, I actually had a cave I went to to relax and get away from it all. It is a cave on my cousin's property behind my grandparents house. Since they are deceased, I don't go there anymore. But I used to spend time back in the cave listening to the water trickle deep inside. It was very peaceful. I really miss that.