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Sweetleaf
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14 May 2011, 1:12 pm

Not really, I mean I get along fine with other rather unusual people......its just the normal people who get disturbed by anything abnormal that I tend to have the most difficulty with. But yeah I don't want to change how I interact because I don't really want much to do with people who can't just accept me as I am.



Mindslave
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14 May 2011, 1:17 pm

Every time I go out and be social, I'm quickly reminded as to why I spend most of my time as a hermit. I can only be someone I'm not for so long a period of time.



anneurysm
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14 May 2011, 1:31 pm

I would definitely like to be more social with more people who are like me. When I am with a person I really click with, I often want to spend as much time with them as possible. I have a bunch of people in my life who are like this...but could always use more. I know they're out there, which makes me more impatient to find them.

Would I like to be more social with regular old schmos? No thanks.


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Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.

This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term therapists - that I am an anxious and highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder.

My diagnoses - social anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.


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15 May 2011, 3:44 pm

No.
I have yet to fully understand why anyone would want to,seems pointless.



Supernova008
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15 May 2011, 3:54 pm

Maybe I should rephrase the question a bit. Do you want to be more sociable than just having some acquaintances?



dossa
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15 May 2011, 4:07 pm

No. I do not want to be more social than just having some acquaintances. I do have a few people I speak with in day to day life (now and then) as well as having a few people I email (now and then). I also come here in spurts. Sometimes I am fine with this level of social... other times I am overwhelmed by it and need to hide for days, weeks, or months so I can hit my inner reset button. I cannot handle any more socializing than I currently do, and sometimes I cannot handle what I already have on my plate. It is all so very overwhelming and exhausting to me... even though I do enjoy the people I interact with. Socializing is such hard work that leaves me physically and mentally exhausted. More socializing sounds like hell to me.


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fleurdelily
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15 May 2011, 4:56 pm

YES. I wish I were schizoid... then I wouldn't suffer so much, as I just wouldn't care. That is the main torture with this, I have no family support at all. I am a hermit. My husband drives for a living, and so he's gone all the time and I have 3 dogs and a cell phone and that is all. If I didn't care, then I would be just fine. But I do care, even if I don't seem like it. To not care would be bliss. I must be a mental masochist...



Kon
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15 May 2011, 7:00 pm

Not particularly. At one time when I was single it would have helped a lot to socialize a bit more, especially with some females, so I could have gotten laid more often. My hand was fun but it can get kinda boring after a while.



Cash__
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15 May 2011, 9:56 pm

Yes. I would like a real life friend of the same gender.



Verdandi
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15 May 2011, 10:04 pm

I probably talk to people for 4-5 hours/week, get one hour of therapy, and otherwise spend the rest of the time alone. Even without internet, I spend most of my time doing other things, rather than being around people.

I can handle more socializing, but I don't feel any particular need for it. I prefer to talk to people if I have a reason (discuss an interest, get transportation to the store, etc). I really don't know what my lower limit is, as I don't recall ever feeling lonely.



TTRSage
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15 May 2011, 10:34 pm

I want very much to be more sociable with selected people who understand instinctively that I still need solitude to function properly. As such, socializing with other Aspies would be the ideal situation because we would both possibly share the same wish to socialize on a limited basis while understanding ech ohter's need for solitude at other times. It is the only real answer to the loneliness that is so much a part of AS. Somewhere I have read that in many cases Aspies do want very much to be sociable but simply cannot make it work and give up as a result.



whatamess
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15 May 2011, 11:13 pm

No, I don't. I have tried that but honestly, being social where I live means putting up with idiots who think they can tell you how to live your live, what you should dress like, what you should do...and honestly, I have no tolerance for it anymore. Just had an argument with my husband because he claims that everyone thinks I'm a pain in the behind...funny, but I am very nice to everyone and always say hi, etc...but yes, if they tell me I should send my kid to school vs homeschool or if they tell me I should cook for my husband or if they tell me that I should look like a barbie everyday for my husband, I am honest and tell them it's really none of their business...which of course "NTs" see as me not having any social skills I see it as "defending myself" from the constant need of NTs where I live to tell others how to live their lives.



Verdandi
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16 May 2011, 12:38 am

To add to my previous post:

I actually find the idea of "wanting to be more social" to be pointlessly abstract. There are individual people I like talking to or would love to talk to if given the chance, but this isn't out of a general desire for sociability but because those people are interesting and I find them likable.



Verdandi
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16 May 2011, 12:39 am

Edit: Repeat post.



Last edited by Verdandi on 16 May 2011, 3:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Guilliman
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16 May 2011, 12:45 am

Yes and no. I want a few people I can feel at ease with, but mostly I really just want one friend. If possible that friend would also be a girlfriend. Someone that understands me and has no issues with who I am.

I have no need for complex social groups to be part of, but I do not like being entirely alone every single day. Practically locked in my room. No one to play games with etc (I'd love to go bowling with someone for example).. How weird is that lol



swbluto
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16 May 2011, 1:14 am

I'd rather be more likable than sociable. If I were more likable, then assumably I wouldn't piss off team-members and clients so badly to the point of essentially "failing". However, maybe I'm not likable because I'm not sociable? Then, I suppose, I want to be more sociable. :lol:

(No, not really, actually, but if it helps me in a practical way in the longterm due to gaining oft-glorified 'social skills', then I guess so. I'm not entirely convinced that it would, though.)