Do You Self Harm or Have You Self Harmed?

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(I hope this first paragraph is not too disgusting; if it is, feel free to skip it.)
It does not sound weird to me; I used to do that as well in school, with things like a paper clip, a staple, or the pin on the back of a metal button. It was only the dead outer layer of skin on my fingers about a millimeter thick that I did this with; as long as I avoided going deep enough to cause pain, the sensation worked as a stim or a way to preoccupy my mind.

I eventually stopped doing this because 1) it was too easy to accidentally hurt myself, 2) I realized I might give myself an infection, and 3) it was messing up my skin. I still bite my nails and the skin around them a lot but that's at least a more common stim even for neurotypicals.

I also used to hit myself in the head when I became angry or frustrated with myself. I have thankfully been able to stop doing that due to learning about Asperger's; understanding the reasons for my weaknesses and mistakes helps me to be more patient with myself.

I currently slap myself on the head for pleasure, scratch myself due to eczema and occasionally bang my head.

I think a lot more people do this than will admit it, but not all in the same way.
Drinking alcohol is self-harming; so is smoking tobacco; so is taking just about any drug (illicit or prescription), so is eating junk food ...
My instinctive cultural values might tempt me to reprimand cutters, slappers, etc.
but really it's no worse than what most people do to their bodies every day.

The only times I've felt compelled to injure myself physically were on a few insomnia-ridden college nights,
when I would slam my head against the wall in irrepressible exasperation, after finding no posture conducive to my needed sleep.

I used to self harm in the form of/similar to cutting. I did that when I was about 14. Sometimes I'll do something like hit my head on something or hit myself, but not often.

For a while I used to hit myself on the fat part of both thighs with a rubber mallet, whenever I felt I had screwed up at work or school or in my personal life. I guess it was a crude attempt at aversive conditioning that absolutely failed to change anything.

The "good" thing about this method is that it left no permanent marks, hurt like hell from first to last and as far as I could tell could do no lasting damage. Yes, it did leave red marks and occasional bruises, but they were all on a body part I never expose to public view, and all bruises and marks faded over time. (Perhaps I could have burst a capillary or some such thing, but never did. I'm candidly unclear what the result of that would have been.) I also never developed any of the sort of desensitization to the act I understand cutters do. IOW, I never seemed to need to do more of it to reach the same level of pain over time.

The "bad" thing about this method is that, first, it took a bit of time to finalize. I started doing it not with a mallet, but with a 16 oz. steel hammer. And did it to my stomach area. Steel is harder than rubber, stomachs are a lot more sensitive than thighs and hammers have a relatively small head, meaning a greater concentration of force with each strike...all nicely highlighted for me when I started vomiting what appeared to be pure blood shortly after starting this regime. So that method was out. Fortunately, it didn't take much additional thought to come up with the "final" method, described above. The other bad thing is that I always ran the risk of discovery. The sound of mallet on thigh is surprisingly loud, rather like tenderizing meat. Fortunately my ex-spouse never really caught on, though I know she heard me at least twice.

I stopped not because it wasn't working as I hoped in changing my behavior (even though it wasn't) but because I carried things a bit too far one day and hit myself 40 times on each thigh. I could barely walk up the cellar stairs and then involuntarily collapsed once I was in the shower. My legs literally could not hold me up. Fortunately I recovered enough to stand in five or so minutes, but figured I'd take a break from doing this.

That was about four years ago, and I'm now reconsidering. I'm not sure I will start again, but I'm not sure I won't. I am obviously such an absolute eff up that SOMETHING needs to be done. And these suckers are only a few bucks at any hardware store:



"Wherever pounding is required." Couldn't have said it better myself.

I scratch and tear at myself, particularly.my stomach, back, left side of face, anus and vagina(that's really embarrassing to say) I had a huge meltdown today, the kind where I lose all my words and feel like I'm going to vomit, I tore my anus a bit, ripped a chunk of skin off my clitoris, and scratched the crap out of everywhere on my body, I'm so embarrassed

Never self harmed here.

I self injure a lot. I do it when I get overwhelmed with feelings that I can't name. I started cutting when I was 16 after a girl at school showed me how to and it became a compulsion. Cutting, like exercise, releases endorphins. Unlike exercise, it leaves you with permanent scars on your skin. I also bang my head repetitively against a door/wall when I am stressed, hit myself on the head and bite the backs of my hands/arms. When I am not self injuring the Tourettes takes over and does it for me.

I can remember self harming since I was little. It was not uncommon for me to hit myself, bite myself, scratch myself, or bang my head against something. Usually it only happens/ed when I am extremely angry. This seemed to happen almost every time I did my math homework because I am horrible at math. It hasn't happened for a couple of weeks and last time it happened was because my computer wasn't cooperating and I was getting really angry and ended up screaming, throwing things, and probably hitting myself.

I also kinda like to see my blood. Not in a disgusting way, but blood means I am alive, so sometimes I would cut myself just to see all the blood. I actually considered becoming a doctor for awhile.

I self harmed in my teens. I did it when I had a fight with my mother or when I was being bullied (it was really bad when I was about 14.) I got suspended from school as well, when I was in Year 9, so that made me self harm. I have done it twice since then, once on my arm when I experienced more bullying and once when I had an argument with my boyfriend. However, he only knew me when the last one happened as we hadn't met when I was self harming before that, and it made him cry for five days straight so I stopped doing it for him because I didn't want to stop for myself. The scars on my arms have almost faded now, they're only slightly visible, but the ones on my hip are still quite dark. Sad reminders.

You mean abuse from other people?

For me personally, it is probably the latter suggestion. I have a difficulty in controlling, identifying, understanding, and dealing with my emotions. I also have a lot of sensory issues which I self-harm from occasionally, again not knowing how else to control/deal with them.

You forgot an "I self harm a lot" option.

I am not sure if this counts, but I have on a very few occasions harmed myself so I was excused to do something I was very much afraid of and did not want to speak and discuss it with someone. For example (I am over-allergic to muskito bites from some species which live in woods) I had myself stung dileberately so my arm would blow up and turn yellow to not have to do a camp activity.

Othewise I sometimes hurt myself to feel pain, as it fels good when I am upset by social interaction gone wrong. I ne er told anyone though. I don't want to come over as a freak or attention seeker.

I've punched myself in the face since I was a child. It doesn't happen very often. I find it hard to stop myself doing it when it does. Never been a cutter.

I used to stab my hands and wrists with pins and pens, and smash my head and fists against my wall, but I've been better for a long time

God it's so, so horrible being depressed. Those of you who are currently, hold on, and I wish you luck with getting through it.

I know of a sort of autistic self-injury. My constant stress level of sensory input is usually fine, but if something causes that stress level to increase drastically, I might hit myself or bang my head.

Talking, walking, physical and emotional feelings cannot be processed anymore and I can't do them. Pain creates one sensation I can focus on in the absolute chaos of thousand things that have overwhelmed most of my mental abilities.

Any sensation would work, really, but pain from self-injury is obviously most easily available and fittest for the task. Not saying it's particular healthy, of course. I'd rather not be hurt or kill my brain cells, actually, but it comes with getting into lots of overwhelming things.

I never had anything to do with other forms of self-injury such as cutting. Cutting requires way too many mental resources to begin with (even just getting and holding a knife or equivalent, then using it correctly).