Dark Night of the Soul

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[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wp1rL7DI_D4[/youtube]

This sounds like forced stoicism.

ruveyn

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxh-FfElY0Mhttp://[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpP4gGYuZSU[/youtube]
20,000 miles to an oasis
20,000 years will I burn
20,000 chances I wasted
Waiting for the moment to turn
I would give my life to find it
I would give it all
Catch me if I fall

Walking through the woods I have faced it
Looking for something to learn
30,000 thoughts have replaced it,
Never in my time to return
I would give my life to find it
I would give it all
Catch me if I fall

All alone
Waiting to fall

40,000 stars in the evening
Look at them fall from the sky
40,000 reasons for living
40,000 tears in your eye

I would give my life to find it
I would give it all
Catch me if I fall
Catch me if I fall

From what may anyone be saved?
Only from themselves!
That is, their individual hell.
They dig it with their own desires.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5Xl0Qry-hA[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAXaZQbym94[/youtube]

The Theory of Positive Disintegration (TPD) by Kazimierz Dąbrowski describes a theory of personality development.

Unlike mainstream psychology, Dąbrowski's theoretical framework views psychological tension and anxiety as necessary for growth. These "disintegrative" processes are therefore seen as "positive," whereas people who fail to go through positive disintegration may remain for their entire lives in a state of "primary integration." Advancing into disintegration and into the higher levels of development is predicated on having developmental potential, including overexcitabilities, above-average reactions to stimuli.

Unlike some other theories of development such as Erikson's stages of psychosocial development, it is not assumed that even a majority of people progress through all levels. TPD is not a theory of stages, and levels do not correlate with age

Me too.

Very interesting thread.
It touches something in me that I have always known to be the truth, just under my consciousness.
I have entered this dark labyrinth that is my life for a reason, a reason I will not fully understand until I am done.

Frequently, I ponder the infamous words that we're uttered at my birth "Houston, we have had a problem."
I was born the moment Apollo 13 had their accident. There they we're, 3 men stranded a quarter of a million miles from home. They had no choice but to make do with what was on board their craft, guided by a scratchy, delayed signal from the distant earth. It was by no means easy, but they got home.

I have been passing through the dark night for many years but I am now starting to come out of the other end of it.

I can remember once, during a meditation, reaching a place where everything was so beautifully serene, I was pure energy and I was connected to everything. I have never forgotten the serenity I felt in that place, a place where the ego did not exist as we know it.

It was beautiful.

The world is consumed with it's ego and the illusion of the ego that it creates for itself, but this is part of the journey it must make, for it is part of the journey on the road to knowing your true self.

I no longer need to indulge my ego most of the time (it's a work in progress). The majority of my self esteem is generated internally based on my belief that all life has value, is deserving of love and is deserving of respect, kindness and understanding. I love myself but in nurturing, non arrogant way.

What I do, I do for love.
What I do, I do for joy
What I do, I do for passion
What I do, I do out of kindness
What I do, I do for the love of god or pure unconditional love (which ever you want to call it as I like to refer to 'god' as both) and not for my own glory.

I look out into the world and I can see so much suffering that man inflicts on himself or others in the pursuit of indulging the human ego.

I am humbled, my arrogance is fading but there are still times that the darkness descends and I am pulled slightly backwards, so I am not out of the shadows just yet. I am on my way there though. I do not feel that I will spend the rest of my existence in the dark night.

I will say that my depressions did help me to grow. They helped me resolve and work through many of my issues, including those related to past abuse. I talk about them openly because it enables me to develop my own understanding and hopefully that of others, although many others think of my talking openly about them as whining. That however is not my intent. Perhaps one day I will find a way to express them that opens peoples eyes and touches the soul.

I just need to resolve this social stuff first lol. Of course the social isolation I have been experiencing could have just sent me a little bit insane!

Anyway, time to end the strange spiritual moment I had there before I scare people or the men in the white coats come and collect me. We are back on Planet earth now!

I must be because my stomach has overridden my ego and is demanding that I indulge in some food...

Trudging through the existential dribble of this theory I see what is basically dysthemia of sorts. coupled with avolition.

You might notice that our forum header (Kirtens new blog entry) mentions that it is now known to be an outdated and archaic view that bullying builds character, she's right of course, it's outdated. And the idea that these painful periods make you strongers is questionable - Infact they simply make you more vulnerable to future mental health issues.

Actually, dribble or not, the place of serenity that I found whilst meditating is a place I don't mind spending my time. I have never in my life felt inner peace quite like it.