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Is Asexuality related to Asperger's?

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CockneyRebel
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02 Aug 2011, 11:15 pm

I'm not interested in either sex and I don't care if I never have sex again.


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03 Aug 2011, 12:04 am

imbatshitcrazy wrote:
is it?


I'm not sure. I am autistic though, and I am asexual.


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nemorosa
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03 Aug 2011, 7:27 am

Life without sex would be very grey indeed. I've always had a very healthy libido but since coming off SSRI's it has gone through the roof; almost too high.

I cannot imagine feeling close attachment to someone without the sexual element. No more or less important than any other part, but it does make the whole package complete.



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03 Aug 2011, 8:45 am

Ettina wrote:
It's important to distinguish between asexuality and not having sex, by the way. Asexuality is not wanting sex - not feeling sexual desires. I know some asexuals who have had sex, either because they thought they might enjoy it, because they enjoy it for non-sexual reasons (eg being close to someone you care about) or as a favour to a person who's sexually attracted to them. And there are many people who want sex but either can't convince someone to have sex with them, or have chosen not to have sex for religious, health or other reasons.

In my case, I'm asexual and diagnosed PDD NOS (and a girl). As an experiment, I even tried rubbing my clitoris after reading that women find this sexually exciting, and it felt no different from touching any other body part. Ironically, as a 12 year old I used to think I was attracted to various boys, because no one had bothered explaining how wanting to befriend someone felt different from having a crush on them (nor did they even seem to think I could be gay, even though around 10% of the population is).


I used to do that, too. I didn't feel any different, either. That's one of the reasons I read about sex so much. To see if there was a way to make myself more normal. I would read on masturbating, and I would go about it just like it said in the books. I've never even wanted to kiss. When I read a book, and there's a scene explaining how the characters feel, it seems like...exotic metaphors. It doesn't seem to me like something that would happen in real life, but I know it does. People did think I was lesbian because I've never dated, but I don't feel attracted to women or men.


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Ettina
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03 Aug 2011, 8:53 am

Quote:
because no one had bothered explaining how wanting to befriend someone felt different from having a crush on them


OK, from what my Mom told me:

Basically, both intense friendship and a crush involve feeling a longing for the person, wanting to be with them, etc. But with a crush, you also feel pleasant feelings in your crotch when you look at them, think about them, touch them, etc. Like warmth or tingling. If you're male, you might get an erection.

Based on that description, I realized I've only ever felt friendship, not a crush.

Oh, and this study found that autistic people, especially autistic women, were significantly less likely to be heterosexual than NTs, with bisexuality and asexuality being elevated (homosexuality was about as common as in NTs).



Joe90
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03 Aug 2011, 9:58 am

I have AS, but I am not asexual, and I'm a female.

Quote:
Basically, both intense friendship and a crush involve feeling a longing for the person, wanting to be with them, etc. But with a crush, you also feel pleasant feelings in your crotch when you look at them, think about them, touch them, etc. Like warmth or tingling. If you're male, you might get an erection


I get exactly this. I have got a crush on someone, (well, a few people actually, but this one is my favourite because he likes me back), and although we haven't even got to the friendship stage yet, we do have feelings for eachother. He has held my hands briefly before when I've stood talking to him, which filled me up with emotional pleasure, and for the rest of the day I couldn't think of anything else but those 3 seconds where he held my hand. And when I think about him, I get a severe tingling in my crotch, so severe that I gave to stop breathing for a few seconds until it goes away. I also long for him to be in my bed every single night. I even panic out of desperation for him.

Also, when you have a crush, you feel really ''on top of the world'' at the slightest bit of attention they pay you. This is all definately me.


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jmnixon95
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03 Aug 2011, 12:17 pm

Not sure.
There are plenty of NT asexuals, as well as plenty of people with AS who aren't asexual.
I'm not sure about the statistics, though.



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03 Aug 2011, 12:21 pm

I think it is.

People always say people on the spectrum just feel less pressure to conform to societal norms and that's why you so many who are asexual or LGBT.

But why doesn't anyone think that it could be related to population control?

It happens in other species.

Gay penguins FTW.



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03 Aug 2011, 1:17 pm

nemorosa wrote:
Life without sex would be very grey indeed.


Not if you are asexual. :wink:


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03 Aug 2011, 1:20 pm

persian85033 wrote:
I've never even wanted to kiss.


When I was a younger teenager I wanted to know what it was like because everyone made such a big deal about it. I did not like it AT ALL, and even ended up having a MAJOR meltdown later. That was the first and last kiss I ever had at age 15. I have never wanted to do it again, and I always though "what if....I do ever get into a relationship?" (I am asexual, but wouldn't oppose a relationship). I cannot kiss, I don't really know how to do it, nor do I particularly want to.


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littlelily613
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03 Aug 2011, 1:23 pm

Ettina wrote:
Basically, both intense friendship and a crush involve feeling a longing for the person, wanting to be with them, etc. But with a crush, you also feel pleasant feelings in your crotch when you look at them, think about them, touch them, etc. Like warmth or tingling.


I suppose this is generally the case--makes sense. I had a HUGE, MASSIVE crush on someone in high school (I don't think I have ever been in love but that was likely the closest I ever got to it), and never had those feelings. I guess I was always asexual even though I didn't realize it before just recently.


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nemorosa
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03 Aug 2011, 2:03 pm

littlelily613 wrote:
nemorosa wrote:
Life without sex would be very grey indeed.


Not if you are asexual. :wink:


Well shiver me timbers and blow me down! You don't say!

Just as obvious that there is an unstated "in my opinion" when I post a comment such as above.

Honestly, this forum drives me up the wall sometimes. Every time I open my mouth people seem to think I'm attempting to speak for the whole of humanity.



littlelily613
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03 Aug 2011, 2:17 pm

nemorosa wrote:
littlelily613 wrote:
nemorosa wrote:
Life without sex would be very grey indeed.


Not if you are asexual. :wink:


Well shiver me timbers and blow me down! You don't say!

Just as obvious that there is an unstated "in my opinion" when I post a comment such as above.

Honestly, this forum drives me up the wall sometimes. Every time I open my mouth people seem to think I'm attempting to speak for the whole of humanity.


PARDON ME! It was a semi-joking comment not meant to offend. HOLY, why does EVERYONE seem to think I am trying to offend them! Sheesh!


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06 Aug 2011, 5:39 pm

I'm asexual but I don't know if there's a direct link between being asexual and having Aspergers. It does seem like there are quite a few Aspies that are asexual as well so maybe there is a link. OTOH, there are plenty of NT people who are asexual and AS people who are sexual so who knows?



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06 Aug 2011, 6:16 pm

Ettina wrote:
Quote:
because no one had bothered explaining how wanting to befriend someone felt different from having a crush on them


OK, from what my Mom told me:

Basically, both intense friendship and a crush involve feeling a longing for the person, wanting to be with them, etc. But with a crush, you also feel pleasant feelings in your crotch when you look at them, think about them, touch them, etc. Like warmth or tingling. If you're male, you might get an erection.

Based on that description, I realized I've only ever felt friendship, not a crush.

Oh, and this study found that autistic people, especially autistic women, were significantly less likely to be heterosexual than NTs, with bisexuality and asexuality being elevated (homosexuality was about as common as in NTs).


Well then, by that definition, I've never had a crush before.


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06 Aug 2011, 6:29 pm

Callista wrote:
It's not directly related, really.

I mean, most autistic people aren't asexual. Most of us are straight/bi/gay/whatever and want romance and sex.

But asexuality is more common on the spectrum than off it; maybe as much as ten times more common (10% of the autistic population versus 1% of NTs).


According to wikipedia, 20% of the general female population is asexual. If the proportions are 10 times higher in the autistic community (And in a prima facie kind of way, it is.), then that means 200% of autistic females are asexual. It's not right, but it appears to be kind of close.

Noticing that trend, I realized that autistic females probably aren't the type to pursue a romance with. Maybe the "almost autistic" or semi-autistic type...