When you need help the most, people run the other way.

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Recently, I've had a drop in visitor or two from the past, and a few emails from old friends, appearing to be WANTING TO HELP

Thing is, they want to help me to become like them, WHICH IN ACTUALITY....... DOES NOT HELP ME AT ALL.... BUT MAKE THINGS WORSE

Yeah it looks that way sometimes, though sometimes I have to wonder if I could be the one chasing them away. I mean if you display too many sympoms of depression people don't want to put up with it...

I used to be helpful, put other people ahead of my own needs. I was the kind of kid who would give up lunch money and lunch if someone really needed my money.

I have figured out that only works against me. People will use another soul mercilessly and exploit them. It's better to help people who will help me in return then to indiscriminately help whomever.

I had one friend in particular who told me if someone is nice she would take them up on it and use away. She misunderstood what I meant. All I wanted was some consideration in return which was wanting the impossible. This is the kind of person who takes and never gives. Finally I just gave up and stop being friends. Eventually, she did find a boyfriend who treated her like she did everyone else so I and another friend of hers felt somewhat vindicated.

My suggestion is don't waste your time on people like this.

Yes I wonder what I do wrong. I was sat at work fighting back tears at my desk and no-one noticed. My work colleague seconds later got a phonecall her family's cat had died, ran out and the work colleague ran out after her.
I think by the same token I don't recognise help e.g. when the same person realised it was my 30th birthday she bought cookies from the canteen. I was so caught up with everything I missed that it was a really nice gesture and she didn't have to do this.

I used to be a member of a model flying club.
I was always the sort of guy to help anyone (even a stranger) with a spare propeller or anything else that they needed.

I learned over time that I was just being taken for a mug and stopped doing it.
Over the years I must have lent half a dozen hobby subject books to "friends" and never got them back.

I learned that I actually got more respect by being harder and not so much of a soft touch.
I really am convinced that being over helpful is as bad as being (AS induced) over friendly.