I'm not stubborn. I'm just right.

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I'm wrong 9 times out of 10 when doing something. It really sucks, I have to go to class knowing that I'm going to screw up in lab no matter what. I want to drop to perfect those type of skills but cant, don't want to and dont think it would do me any good.

The thing that I'm ranting about is that they CAN'T even see that they COULD be wrong. People make mistakes. I always say "I'll forgive stupidity. I won't forgive laziness," but that doesn't mean that I won't complain about it, especially arrogant stupidity.

I'm sure I come off arrogant but I'm seriously not trying to be. I just say whatever comes to mind and have severe tunnel vision.

I think I may have a solution to this and I may be wrong. This has worked for me. My solution is to always assume you're wrong even if you think you are right. Let me try to give an example. Let's say someone says there are eight continents in the world that exist instead of seven. This is what I would say.

"I may be wrong here but I've always thought there were seven continents. This is what I've was taught in school and have read in geography books. Did I misunderstand what my schools taught me and what I read in the books? " When I have done this method so far they either show me where I am wrong or they correct their errors.

My attitude and belief is I am never correct unless proven correct.

This should be the Forum Index description of the PPR forum.

Thats how you learn, right? Its incredible how people can fight over having "right" when its impossible to find out that very moment. Thats just boring. Sometimes people can have me doubting stuff that I find out I was right about when Im online again. And mostly I never see the person again... If its not in my database, I doubt, but when I know... I just know. The possibility of making mistakes makes me open for discussion, but I feel it is often abused, because people like having right in the moment. Yes I can make surprisingly mistakes that I learn of, but the in my first post explained situation has happened a lot more often. Knowing things could be done better
Arrogance and stubbornness is part of us all and its up to ourselves how we support that way of reacting. Sometimes when Im right, and another person may feel bad about it I can ignore it so much that there is never an issue, only constructive communication. On the other hand, sometimes Im glad to put the person "in the right place". It depends: everything is relative... and so on.

By the way: the first example that I describe here, has never been returned to me when I have been wrong.

I relate.

After the others have failed, and while they're being debriefed (i.e., reamed, chewed out, reprimanded, having a new one ripped, facing the music, et cetera), I am implementing my solution. I then present the solved problem. At this point, either the big bosses ask me why I didn't offer this solution in the first place, or someone from the other group tries to take credit for it. This as changed over the years, and most of my co-workers now know to come to me first with a production or design problem. The rest don't seem to last long.

It took over ten years, but I think I've finally earned their respect.

My own group members didn't have much to do! I often worked with the motto "if you want it done right, do it yourself." So much faster, too.

Whoo boy. That sounds a lot like how I once thought. And I'll apologize right now if the OP happens to take this personally, because it isn't meant to be personal at all. In an attempt to avoid that, I'll speak only from my own perspective, and only for myself.

It took me a long time to accept this, but in my own case, though I did used to think it wasn't stubbornness, arrogance but was just me being "right." I was wrong.

I was just being stubborn. I WAS arrogant.

Years later I've come to realize and accept that being "right" isn't anywhere near as important as I used to think it was. No one is always right and everyone (sooner or later) experiences thinking and believing they are right only to eventually learn they are sometimes (if not often) just as wrong as anyone can be.

Being right is not as important as we often think it is. Being perceived by others as humble and always willing to admit that I could at any given moment be wrong, is far more important and far more valuable to myself and everyone around me. Like it or not, human beings need other human beings. Not much can be accomplished by a single human with no cooperation from any other humans. Not much of any importance. If you go through life insisting you are smarter, see things no one else can see, and are right about everything you claim to be right about, nobody wants to help you accomplish anything. Who wants to help anyone they see as arrogant and stubborn? It doesn't matter whether you really are arrogant and/or stubborn. All that matters is how you are perceived. That's what drives cooperation from others. Humility is what attracts cooperation. Humility achieves great things. Arrogantly insisting you are right only turns people off and stunts what might otherwise become great accomplishments.

Even if that gets you a poorer grade in school?

@MrXxx: But I get your point.

Eventually we are no machines and should always have a little doubt because of that.

But I disagree with this: "all that matters is how you are perceived."

I dont even understand how you make it fit to this. When it comes to facts it just doesnt matter how anything is perceived.

You're missing the point. I didn't say it was right or that I agree with it either. It's an NT rule, and it's an NT world. Understanding that, accepting it and working with it has served me a whole lot better than fighting it. Believe me. I spent most of my life fighting reality, and it got me nowhere. Accepting that which I cannot change, and working WITH it has served me far, FAR better.

You can only beat your head against a brick wall for so long. Sooner or later it'll either hurt too much and you'll try something different, or...

die.

I answered too fast. I know how you make it fit. For the same reason that I resigned and carried out the "stupid" tasks with a bad result in school group work sometimes. It still just annoys me when people have to do things in another way, even if I know better. This also happens alot because Im a woman... And I will crush that brick wall! And after I can die

Wouldn't "rude" be a better word? This thread seems a good place to be pedantic: in order to be arrogant must one arrogate something. That is, one must claim something without justification. If you are right about a question it can never be arrogant to say so.

Unless of course you mean we claim attention and sympathy without justification, then I agree. If we simply want to be right, then job done. but if we want others to acknowledge us then, as you say, we must play by their rules.

In my defence I never answer back to anyone and always agree with them. It feels like the good mannered thing to do when the alternative is an argument that cannot be won by either side. But it means they can never understand why I seem so stressed at a request I have agreed to and that seems perfectly reasonable to them.

I don't think that MrXxx is right and being that I'm always right, he must be wrong.

Yes^

The OP has discovered one of the major reasons why many Aspergians have a very hard time maintaining steady employment. One either learns to make a calm suggestion and then keep one's mouth shut (or never offer a suggestion at all if you really want to be safe), or spend a lot of time unemployed.

Even if you are absolutely certain that your method is more practical, more efficient, faster, more productive and more ethical, you must keep this in mind:

Your neurology is different than the neurology of everyone else around you.

You are seeing reality through a lens that they are not privy to. Conversely, you do not have access to their point of view, either, so you are not entirely qualified to judge whether their method is useless, or even inferior. It may be useless for you, because having a neurological disorder, you may be unable to use their method. That does not mean their method doesn't work better for them. That's why they call AS a disability.

You are not always right, nor are your ideas necessarily better for everyone concerned, no matter how perfectly obvious it may seem to you that your way is the only sane way. You see a green world, they see a red world - is the world really red or green? Who knows? But there are more of them than there are of you, so it will usually behoove you to keep your opinions to yourself if you don't want to end up homeless.