Complainers

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Agreed. I usually dont complain or express anything that Im affected by to my surroundings.

Its rather seldom, maybe I express it when I talk to a close friend, nah but wait... complaining is difficult for me.

Maybe I express it when its not superfluous?

Other emotions for example, like showing total frustration because we are going to be late, when its unchangable anyway, is also rather seldom (as good as never) for me, and thats obviously because its superfluous.

When I complain I use a much too nice voice anyway. Or if it slips out like an "annoying" complaint, I will probably correct/defuse it directly after.

Sometimes I complain simply because I am compelled by an honesty that hurts to repress.

Such as:
[quote=how i quit one job by yelling at the owner in a full dining room]
"This is the seventh time someone has fallen down these stairs that are impregnated with grease. the last time I fell down the stairs, I told you about it and you said you would do something about their condition. That was two months ago.

I just fell down them again and my back is messed up. I am leaving. Going to a doctor. Now. I don't care if there is nobody here to cook brunch for you, since you don't seem to care about the safety of your employees? Do you care about anything at all? Are you just to lazy or cheap to put up a freaking railing?

I will not be coming back to work after the hospital. Good luck with your restaurant. You are going to need it."[/i]

I would still have said that to him if he was in his office and not in front of 60 customers. The complaint was more effective with an audience though. He put a railing and some grippy treads in those stairs after I quit.

But I thought at the time that it was more important to keep people from getting hurt at work than to keep my mouth shut and keep my job.

Well for whatever its worth, sometimes if I get really overwhelmed and frusterated I do complain and it is very hard to stop....even if I am alone I will complain to myself. So as much as I would like to join the complaining about complainers party I don't think I can.

But yeah its not like I want to annoy the crap out of others, its like if I have to get the negitive energy out somehow.......lol if I don't complain then I am likely to puch a hard wall or bang my head on it, immature maybe but hey its what happens.

The Haven is an appropriate place to do it (though there are limits..). Not all complaining is bad.

In the right context it can be a good way to let off some steam. Cut them some slack!

Yeah to be honest that comment kind of made me not want to post in the Haven anymore, I already feel the need to appologize for my long posts there in general.........but if people are reading my posts not responding and just thinking 'oh what a complainer.' well kinda takes away the safety of oh a good place for threads like that. Then again I realise this is the internet so I should not care so much I actually stop posting in The Haven.

If people don't like that forum why can't they just stay out of it and not complain about the content of the posts there.

I don't know, maybe people go there expecting one thing and find something else entirely. It's not ideal but I guess that's just the way it is. You'd think people would at least have a basic respect for the place though... It's where people go when they feel vulnerable after all.

When I first started posting here, I went to The Haven expecting to find a bit more, um, practical advice. Something along the lines of: "I am having problems with "X." I've tried "a, b and c," but have not been able to make any headway on this issue. Can anyone give me suggestions on how to deal with "X?"

It quickly became apparent that this was not what went on in The Haven.

I realized that I would not be able to contribute to that forum, nor would I be able to benefit from it (at least, not then. I reserve the right to change my mind!). I also recognized, however, that others did appear to be benefiting from the type of support offered there.

I have not, nor will I ever, post anything denigrating what gets posted in The Haven. Don't let the possibility that some lurker might not see your posts as "useful" deter you. They aren't supposed to be "useful" to him. If it is of help to you, please continue to use it as you see fit. If someone else doesn't like that forum (for whatever reason), they can do what I do - stay out of it.

Major head rock

is complaining a type of bullying?

Complaining is not the same as bullying. This thread is an excellent example of complaining, even people who don't like when others complain which is evident in this thread.

STOP COMPLAINING ALREADY!! !

It could be though, right?

If complaining is a strong assertion of opinion against another person, a group of people, an animal (freaken cats), or a thing like say cold weather....

I think its a fine line at times, bullying disguised as complaining

Many here react in disgust when another WP member downgrades enties or Autism Speaks.... which is hardly a person or even a group, but more of an ideology.

Then complainer peeps need to defend their opinion or complaint, and that may require

ARGUING

the next logical progression for a complainer is to divide a community in opinion, while finding supporters who can lick their balls, and opponents who can be denigrated for disagreeing

Prolly a worst case scenario but may have some validity at times, complainers could become/be bullys

Last edited by Surfman on 24 Sep 2011, 6:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Complaining serves a purpose, bullying doesn't. Maybe if enough people complain about excessive paperwork, whomever's in charge will do something to eliminate some of it? If no one ever complained nothing would ever get better although I don't really like it when someone complains and a change is made that impedes my progress. That is when I complain about the change that was made because somebody else complained first.

I guess complaining first beats complaing last, even if my complaint is more like a suggestion, request or even a demand, maybe..."WHATEVER ANYONE SAYS DON'T YOU DARE CHANGE A THING!! !

Agreed, but dependant on the structure of the complaint.

And the complainer.... what if its someone who constantly publicly complains about everything and anything? Yet fails to go through the right channels and actually be effective, you know, just likes to complain.

Being a complainer, rather than making a complaint, is what I mean.

Some complaining is very divisive. Professional complainers may be hired to go under cover and rally the masses toward revolution. A future with less cats?

I think there are harmless complainers and complainers that do great work....... maybe have a gripe against some things that need to change

I've wondered if some media outlets embody the "professional complainer" principal. It seems like certain political commentary shows are nothing but non stop complaining. It gets to the point I refuse to watch or listen to them. Especially Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity. Those two constantly complain their entire shows. So, yes, I can understand how it can appear as redundant or fear mongering. It's redundant if one isn't susceptible to the fear mongering.

The OP has a valid point about some types of complaing - like the kind that lend a hand in recessions or failed economies. This is the kind that erodes confidence in the public which is very non productive.

However, complaining about paperwork isn't that type. Sometimes, there aren't any outlets so one has to hope the squeaky wheel gets oiled in cases like that.

'The squeaky wheel gets the worm'

oh wait....

The weirdest thing is, I complain the
loudest when nobody is Around!

I don't know why, but I beanhatch
and whinge at the wall, the door, the
empty room, etc.

And when nobody is around, I guess
I don't really want anyone to hear it
when it gets that bad or something.

I do beanhatch sometimes on a mesage
board.

Most of the time tho, I just get jammed.

I have been told that sometimes I get
stuck in a loop, or jammed instead of
asking for help.

Example:
When a door won't shut, I keep kadunking
it over and over again until I blank out and
30 minutes or more later, I wake up on the
flore.

I'm guilty of complaining out loud but I do it when I am alone too. That happens when I get very frustrated and my anxiety gets high. Now I know some people and kids in my childhood probably thought I was attention whoring and trying to get everyone to feel sorry for me or something.