I don't get understand this --"pretending"

Post Reply New Topic

I suppose if someone was forcing themselves to show empathy but they don't feel anything for the person and they are just using a script because they learned how to respond in the situation, then I might say that is faking it. But even NTs do this too I found out.


If someone isn't interested in something but they pretend to be by talking about it with the person by asking them questions about it and adding to the conversation, I'd say that be faking it and this is where I have troubles with. I can listen to the person so I suppose I could call that faking it. Unless I am curious when someone tells me something so I ask questions about it, then it's not faking it.

When my husband asks for a hug and I give it to him, I suppose that is a fake hug because I am forcing myself to do it but I am doing it for him. Same as when he wants a kiss.

I think the reason why people on the spectrum call it faking is because it doesn't feel natural to them so they have to force themselves to do it and they live by scripts to small talk and learn how to say things so it doesn't get taken the wrong way. I have had to change my communication over the years but I don't see that as faking it. I have noticed the way you say things can change the whole meaning of the sentence, especially with a word you use. Like for example, if I told a customer at work "This bathroom's closed, go somewhere else" would be rude because of the way it's said and I would sound very unfriendly and not nice. But if I said instead "This bathroom's closed, there's another one down by the daycare" and I point which direction, that sounds a lot nicer. I wouldn't call this faking it either because I was still honest but less direct because I didn't tell her to go there. I told her there was another restroom down there and she can read between the lines knowing she can go there herself because I told her there is one down there.


I also suppose that if someone were to ask you a question and you knew they only wanted to hear what they wanted to hear so you told them what they anted to hear, I would say that is faking it.


So everyone fakes things. I even pretend to get stuff just so people won't get pissed at me for not getting it. But sometimes it's hard to hide it.

i have tried pretending to be normal for most of my youth and it really made me tired and sick, the only thing good out of it is that i'm an incredible actor(which is an interest of mine)