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trying to figure the whole eye contact complication

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syrella
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10 Oct 2011, 9:58 am

ADHD here. I have trouble with eye contact when I am trying to concentrate. It is worse in group type settings. For me I think it is a problem with multitasking and concentration.


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Ellytoad
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10 Oct 2011, 12:31 pm

We had a guest over for dinner a week ago, and I couldn't look at his face at all. It was just so uncomfortable, more than I've ever experienced in my life.



anneurysm
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10 Oct 2011, 3:06 pm

I've read some research that suggests that eye contact initiates a threat-like response in people on the spectrum. My personal experiences echo this research...when I was a kid, I had great difficulty looking in people's eyes as I found it extremely uncomfortable and unnatural. It took years for me to get used to it.


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Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.

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10 Oct 2011, 6:01 pm

I too feel like there is a type of intimacy that i am uncomfortable with. almost as if i am looking into someones very soul, and as if i am crossing a line that only my friends would want me to cross.



Madao
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10 Oct 2011, 6:29 pm

oceandrop wrote:
Additionally. using this part of the brain means its occupied with something other than what it should be doing -- i.e. listening to and communicating with the other person. This is why people with AS often see eye contact as a dichotomy: "would you rather me look at you or listen to what you are saying" (also evident in some of the replies above).


This is true for me. Whenever I try to look someone in they eyes while communicating I tend to get lost in the conversation. Words don't process, and I only hear half of what they are saying. However, when I don't look at them I'm able to listen and understand the conversation better.



GuyTypingOnComputer
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10 Oct 2011, 7:00 pm

oceandrop wrote:
Additionally. using this part of the brain means its occupied with something other than what it should be doing -- i.e. listening to and communicating with the other person. This is why people with AS often see eye contact as a dichotomy: "would you rather me look at you or listen to what you are saying" (also evident in some of the replies above).


aneurysm wrote:
I've read some research that suggests that eye contact initiates a threat-like response in people on the spectrum. My personal experiences echo this research...when I was a kid, I had great difficulty looking in people's eyes as I found it extremely uncomfortable and unnatural. It took years for me to get used to it.


These two statements together describe eye contact issues as experienced by me.

Most animals regard direct eye contact as a threatening gesture. I react to eye contact the same way. I have no desire to threaten or engage with another person and impulsively avoid eye contact. Making eye contact with someone unexpectedly is startling, uncomfortable and disorienting to me. I automatically look away.

If I am engaged with someone in a conversation, then I cannot both listen AND formulate a response while looking at the other person. It is one or the other. Either I am observing the world around me and gathering information (a passive approach) or actively engaged in a focused communication. The reason for this may be that I use conversation to exchange information and I need to be focused on the information in order to do so. Others use communication as part of a social handshake/negotiation which includes eye contact, so eye contact is a natural part of the exchange.