Just a question from a special education teacher

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I remember having to tell teachers when we watched the film projector to keep the blinds either open all the way or close them completely. Having the blinds half opened would cause me to get sick to my stomach and dizzy when sunlight would come into a dark room. She seemed not to care when the students would put the blinds half open to torture me. She would see them doing it and would here what they were saying but chose not to make them stop it.

I'll add my two cents here.
Bad teacher experiences:
- I had a teacher in first grade that didn't like me scratching my scalp, messing with my hair. She started bringing barrettes to school every day just to push my hair out of my eyes. In retrospect I could see that as a sweet thing to do, she probably thought she was helping me concentrate and that my mother didn't bother to brush my hair. Quite the opposite. My mom battled with me every day right before the bus came and I always took down whatever she did, couldn't stand having it any way but down and totally free. But her calling me to the front of the room every day to fix my hair and every time she caught me scratching or picking at anything (something I still do a lot, if that tells you how ingrained it is) was humiliating. I still remember that as one of the worst memories of school, because it happened almost every day for a year.
- A small thing, but I remember once when I was in K or preschool, we were eating lunch and I found a small piece of bone in my pulled pork sandwich. I was completely disgusted, it's just one of my -isms that finding unexpected bones in my food feels about like finding a used band-aid. I spit it out into my napkin and put it to the side of my plate, making no fuss at all. Quite classy for a 5-year-old, actually. My teacher saw it and put me at the "bad table" amid all my protests of what actually happened. It doesn't sound like a big deal but it taught me a crucial lesson. If you are young, it doesn't matter how you act (good or bad). If you are stupid and annoying it's par for the course, and if you're "gifted" you're expected to be able to be as responsible as an adult but are granted no more respect or autonomy than you would be otherwise. Just don't fall into that line of thinking, as a child it was the most frustrating thing in the world to be fully aware of the situation (and sometimes a solution!) and have no one see you as a real person capable of any cogent thoughts.

Good teacher experiences:
- I had a Biology teacher in high school who was delightful, because she had no problem letting the morons be morons. She didn't allow the obnoxious and distracting antics of half the class stop her from teaching, but she didn't just ignore them and let them distract everyone else either. It may be very un-PC, but I don't think she minded if those people didn't care. She was there for the people who wanted to learn and graduate and get out of that craphole town, and allowed the people who wanted to goof off to do so. Sent them on errands, let them set up equipment or set up things for labs, etc. And I think it helped them as well, honestly, that they really were just restless. A lot of times she'd send a disruptive student to the other side of the room, to get books from the storage closet or set things out, and they would start answering questions from over there when they weren't paying a bit of attention initially. It was very effective for her to deal with individual personalities of students.
In fact, all of the really good teachers I've had have done that. They speak to their students like people, while still maintaining a hard enough line that students don't walk all over them. It's a really nice change from most teachers treating it like a 9-5 job and this is what we're going to do. If it doesn't work or there's a better way? Maybe in 5 years it will be implemented after several bubbled-in performance reviews, but under no circumstances may education be fluid or adapt to the needs of the students.

I'm afraid I've only got negative examples to tell about--things that you shouldn't do.

There were some things that made me feel like I couldn't really trust the people around me. They would say that the things I did were just "because she's a kid" or "because she's on her period" or "because she's tired". Like--the things I did weren't really truly me, I didn't really truly mean them. It got to the point that when I came to school with a sprained wrist because my stepfather had pushed me and I'd landed on it wrong, people said I was "just looking for attention". Granted, the wrist wasn't that badly hurt; but secretly, I think I wanted somebody to ask what happened and make my stepfather stop being cruel to me. And when I did tell a friend, nothing was done, except that my parents took me out of school and started home-schooling me.

Please take your kids' actions and words seriously. Even if they're obviously exaggerating or they seem to be "looking for attention", remember that there's a reason they do things. When they do things and say things, those things mean something. Even "looking for attention" means something. If a child wants you to pay attention to them, then there's something they want to tell you while you're looking. Maybe it's "I feel lonely" or "I'm overwhelmed" or "I like it when you interact with me".

Never, ever belittle something a kid says. Don't cut him down just because he's young. Show him respect, just as you'd show respect to any human being. If he's wrong, correct him; but don't put him down for being wrong. If he misbehaves, discipline him; but to show him how to do things the right way--not to tell him that he's a bad child. Take a child's beliefs, feelings, and opinions seriously. Let him make choices for himself.

If you teach a child that he matters, as a person; that he is responsible for himself; that he can learn, and that his thoughts and feelings are important and will be listened to, then he'll learn to advocate for himself.

Thank you all for your advice and insight. I have truly learned a lot about how to encourage my students and I will remember this advice when I teach. Sorry about using the wrong "their"-I'm afraid I was tired when I wrote that post and I messed that up-my bad.