Do you find yourself having to convince people you have AS?

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SilverTung
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19 Nov 2011, 5:41 pm

f**k no. I don't tell people about myself IRL. Just things I see in the day in day out.

Anyhow, people can tell I'm "weird" without any words leaving my mouth.


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btbnnyr
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19 Nov 2011, 5:44 pm

I've never gotten "You don't have Asperger's" or "You're not autistic" from anyone I've told about my diagnosis. People have seemed to accept it so far.



babybird
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19 Nov 2011, 6:43 pm

I never tell anyone, people seem to accept my peculiarities without question. :)



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19 Nov 2011, 6:58 pm

I was so apprehensive about telling my mum and when I did her reply was along the lines of 'that makes sense.' Turns out my brother's ex girlfriend and her had a discussion about it.

I had one friend who didn't believe me at all but she was one of those 'don't put a label on brilliant creative people' because her friend was diagnosed with ADHD. The label actually gets me through a lot of hard times.

My sister, sigh...I could tell her I was going to kill myself and she'll tell me that I wasn't. Everything I've been into like communism she told me I couldn't be. She is now accepting of my autism but still thinks I make such a big deal out of it. I'm an autism advocate and have many parents of autistic children telling me I've helped them out so much.

The way I told everyone was to write a MySpace blog and share it on Facebook as well. My ex was surprisingly accepting and so were some old friends. One friend said 'I really didn't realise it' but didn't deny it. My family took ages to accept just how impaired I was about it. My mum finally understood my sensory issues when I was ready to move out. Now I live in a house where people don't believe in diagnostic labels and are suspicious about why I take stimulant medication.

Mild ADHD, yeah it exists and ADHD has a lot of similarities with AS. You might have both or just some of the symptoms of AS.
I think the reason people were so accepting of my diagnoses is because I have been so weird all throughout my life and I've got extreme symptoms in both autism and ADHD. My mum picked up when my symptoms got worse because it took her literally five minutes every time for me to understand some simple instruction she had said and I became so literal.

As for convincing people these days...I don't do it. It's just too much work and stress. I've got people who believe me and try to understand me. I've got my blog subscribers and this forum - who else do I need? It would be nice to have my house mates understand but I can't change their perceptions. Maybe after I let them read my book they are so wanting to read. It's science fiction but the main protagonist is autistic and it reads at times like his biography. Oh, they're going to get a big shock when they read that.


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davidalan11235813
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19 Nov 2011, 10:10 pm

No, because I don't tell people. Why would I tell people in the first place? People think I'm weird enough as it is, and if they already know a good deal about AS they figure it out anyway and then ask me.



davidalan11235813
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19 Nov 2011, 10:12 pm

davidalan11235813 wrote:
No, because I don't tell people. Why would I tell people in the first place? People think I'm weird enough as it is, and if they already know a good deal about AS they figure it out anyway and then ask me.


EDIT: I forgot about my parents. My mom is in denial, but I don't really push the issue, so it's not particularly important.



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19 Nov 2011, 10:23 pm

No because I don't tell people. Only people who ever questioned it was my ex because I didn't have the stereotypes of AS such as the intelligence and good at math and I was "too immature" to have it but he never said I wasn't on the spectrum. He could tell I was.



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20 Nov 2011, 8:36 am

Yes. My old homeroom teacher said

If you have aspergers then I'm not a licensed therapist(she is)

But hey, I do. This is why I seldom tell anyone. Because I waste a lot oftime just explaining what that is, then I have to face the questions. My advice? Don't ask don't tell unless necessary.



littlebigman
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07 Jun 2015, 7:12 am

Once you are defined as "sick" it becomes difficult to express anger towards you, and it may be easier for friends and family to define you as "normal".



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07 Jun 2015, 8:28 am

I have decided not to try to convince anyone. In my opinion, it weakens your position. It gives an unsaid message that your diagnosis is related to what they think. It isn't.

Why do some people vehemently deny something you really think is there? Probably lots of reasons...but I would put some stock in the idea that they are trying to protect you in some way. It may be an extension of trying to say, "I like you". It might even be helpful to validate that feeling in them before they can be more open about your flaws. But, again, your diagnosis doesn't hinge on what they think.


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So you know who just said that:
I am female, I am married
I have two children (one AS and one NT)
I have been diagnosed with Aspergers and MERLD
I have significant chronic medical conditions as well


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07 Jun 2015, 8:33 am

btbnnyr wrote:
I've never gotten "You don't have Asperger's" or "You're not autistic" from anyone I've told about my diagnosis. People have seemed to accept it so far.


I haven't either. My mom told me afterwards she was positive I was autistic after reading a book by Temple Grandin (thanks, mom, for not mentioning it me...(sarcasm)).

But, I have gotten that reaction from one of my son's teachers. At first, it really did hurt me. Ultimately, I decided to hear it as, "but, I like him and he isn't completely disabled" instead. It helps me still be warm with her. (She accepted the diagnosis once it was fully made, and her written questionnaire helped diagnose him!)


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So you know who just said that:
I am female, I am married
I have two children (one AS and one NT)
I have been diagnosed with Aspergers and MERLD
I have significant chronic medical conditions as well


artfulldodger
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07 Jun 2015, 9:18 am

Its not my place to convince anybody of my place on the spectrum, either they see and accept it, or they dont. Its thier choice. I have run into parents of a profoundly autistic child that dont see someone with HFA as being autistic, or accept that Aspergers is a proper diagnosis. And thats fine, not everybody is accepting of everything the next person is. Its a free country(atleast where I live)so they are entitled to thier opinion just like I am. I have my diagnosis from a professional and thats all I need. While its awsome to connect with someone that understands and can see the AS in me, I dont have to have that to feel validated. I can just look back at my past 42 years of life and apply the knowledge my therapist and various books have taught me about AS and see that I am most certianly, without a doubt, on the spectrum. For those that choose to not accept and live in thier own world of denial, thats an unfortunate loss for them. Dodger


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07 Jun 2015, 9:48 am

In the odd instance that I disclose, if the other person states a contrary opinion then I have a few simultaneous thoughts:

- I am insulted that they think me a fool or a liar.

- I think them to be a fool for presuming to contradict the professionals that diagnosed me.

- I think them a less emotionally safe person for me to be around for impertinently invalidating my experience.

If I choose to respond I usually laughingly say something like: "Ah, yes. I think you obviously just don't know me well enough then!" That usually puts them in their place in a reasonably gentle manner. It works better than my natural impulse which is to meltdown into a raging tirade centered on the demand that they STFU. (I can sometimes go from nice guy to ogre in about one second; but that is not a good way to win friends and influence people. :wink: )



redrobin62
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07 Jun 2015, 1:01 pm

I have tried to convince people I'm on the spectrum. I suppose you can call it my "get out of normalcy" free card. Quite a few people don't believe I'm on the spectrum, though. I did work all my life minimizing those symptoms as well as my gayness. I guess I succeeded.