The difference between NTs and Aspies

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22 Nov 2011, 5:32 am

I have four close friends. One of them recently said I was "friendly but quite formal" and another that I was "very direct and people don't always "get" that". I was quite surprised by the first comment as I have never thought my language was particularly stilted, although I do possibly have a somewhat larger vocabulary than some of my peers. I have never felt that I was being formal, as he is someone I actually feel very relaxed around. I think I probably am more direct than some people are - I do try to be diplomatic and not to hurt people but it is not in my nature to play political games or skirt around issues.

Burnbridge
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22 Nov 2011, 5:56 am

Good observation, swbluto!

I can't speak for anyone else, but I learned how to talk from reading books and socializing on pre-internet BBS systems. I have focused on eliminating the authoritarian & pedantic formal vocabulary from my verbal speech, with decent results. Yet when I write, I automatically revert back to formality. Formal, grammatical correctness would be my predominant state. Yesterday I even started using footnotes in my posts.¹

Lacking a google translate function to translate Aspie -> Entie, perhaps I should spend more time in the parent's forum practicing my plain talk. I read Aesop & modern pulp novels periodically to brush up on my grasp of idiom and cliche. This helps, as well:

Link: http://www.idiomsite.com/

¹ Because it's fun, and somewhat more lucid than using parentheses all the time.

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Mummy_of_Peanut
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22 Nov 2011, 7:11 am

I post in the Parents Forum too. I wonder what people think of my posts. They are quite emotional (optimistic I'd say), especially if I'm trying to cheer up someone who's worried about their child's future. Unlike many parents, I definitely see the plus side and don't see a need for her or me to be like everyone else. That sort of input is usually welcomed by parents who are feeling really down. When I start a thread, I go into a lot of detail, otherwise I might end up getting a load of well meant, but useless, advice. My main reason for starting a thread will be for practical advice. I do get more emotional on that forum that I would ever do on here (unless I was talking about my daughter). I think it's just due to the nature of parenting. I'm not like that about my own life. I've noticed one or two Aspie parents of Aspie kids getting into heated discussions on there and not always for the more obvious reasons.

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b9
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22 Nov 2011, 10:25 am

no one perceived that i was not serious, and the world plows on none the less.

i must learn that the world is bigger and stronger than me.

i breathe within the vicinity of my own mouth.

swbluto
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22 Nov 2011, 10:36 am

b9 wrote:

no one perceived that i was not serious, and the world plows on none the less.

I knew you weren't serious, I just had no idea what you said. :lol:

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22 Nov 2011, 10:38 am

b9 wrote:

no one perceived that i was not serious, and the world plows on none the less.

i must learn that the world is bigger and stronger than me.

i breathe within the vicinity of my own mouth.

I perceived you were not serious, and I found it quite funny.

As far as it goes, I think this observation has something to it. I know I have a tendency toward using more complex/sesquipedalian language than is required by most situations. I've dealt with people accusing me of being elitist or trying to make them feel stupid because of this and apparently my tendency toward pedantic speech and writing.

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22 Nov 2011, 11:08 am

.....

Janissy
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22 Nov 2011, 11:14 am

b9 wrote:

i excogitate that the prevalence of annunciated sesquipedality is unsubstantial when juxtaposed with the prevalence of sesquipedalianism in transcriptive elucidations

I'm glad you don't usually post in this style. I had to look up the word "sesquipedilian" to figure out what this post meant. I am grateful that you usually post using many metaphors and words of medium size. That's a lot easier to understand.

I know this isn't a serious post. Your serious posts involve a lot of metaphors.

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22 Nov 2011, 11:24 am

Janissy wrote:

b9 wrote:

i excogitate that the prevalence of annunciated sesquipedality is unsubstantial when juxtaposed with the prevalence of sesquipedalianism in transcriptive elucidations

i will not post in that manner again.

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22 Nov 2011, 11:24 am

swbluto wrote:

btbnnyr wrote:

It is extremely difficult for me to express my thoughts in language that is not explicit, verbose, or pedantic.

Does anyone get any flak for speaking in a pedantic way?

There's this site that I use for asking questions and someone commented...

"11/20: If [ME] asks one more question with ****ing lunaticly oversized words, I'll be very mad."

and

"11/4: Does [ME] know HOW to use a small word?"

As far I can tell, I phrase questions in a way that seems fairly natural to me but I suppose it might've been learned. I do have the capability of "dumbing down", but it's not something that comes naturally to me and makes me kind of ... pause... a lot... in regular conversation as I search for "simpler ways" of saying something.

However, I'm looking over this very post I just wrote and I wonder if it really is *that* pedantic... It seems like it's rather simple in its wording.

I used to get told that I sounded stuck up etc so I learned to speak more casually. It bothers me though at times lol, especially when words are not pronounced properly such as:

"I am going to the local shop, would you like anything" being written or spoken as "I'm goin up the shop, you wan anyfing"

ARRrgghhhhhh Talk properly lol

Last edited by bumble on 22 Nov 2011, 11:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

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22 Nov 2011, 11:25 am

pensieve wrote:

btbnnyr wrote:

I am thinking of NTs who have a pedantic speaking or writing style. I think that there is a difference between NT pedantry and Aspie pedantry. NT pedantry seems to be a "put-on" style that certain people learn and hone as they grow up and become educated, more like clothing than skin. Aspie pedantry seems to be a natural form of language usage for certain people who cannot communicate effectively in any other way, more like skin than clothing. It is extremely difficult for me to express my thoughts in language that is not explicit, verbose, or pedantic.

Very true.

I have found another difference, this time to do with instant messaging or just chatting in general. I want to stay on a subject but my NT conversational partner moves on very quickly to the next subject. It is kind of worse when the person is on ADHD medication. But I've noticed it when I try to have a talk with NT too. Never on the same subject for very long.

I refuse to message or text in "txt spk" because it feels very unnatural to me. I wouldn't speak verbally using text speech, either (although the few times I've been drunk words such as "lol" and "stuffoo" have escaped my lips).

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22 Nov 2011, 11:28 am

SyphonFilter wrote:

pensieve wrote:

btbnnyr wrote:

I cannot abide text speak and if people insist on emailing me with sentences like "How R U 2day" I refuse to reply lol.

I do use 'lol' when typing though, but I would not say it whilst in a conversation.

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22 Nov 2011, 11:31 am

b9 wrote:

i excogitate that the prevalence of annunciated sesquipedality is unsubstantial when juxtaposed with the prevalence of sesquipedalianism in transcriptive elucidations

Translation: I think big words are used more often in writing than in everyday talking.

Did I get it right???

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22 Nov 2011, 11:35 am

SyphonFilter wrote:

pensieve wrote:

btbnnyr wrote:

When I was dead tired from having only 4 hours of sleep, I became pretty impatient with my slowness and started 2 typ lik this 4 the next hour.

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22 Nov 2011, 11:41 am

bumble wrote:

SyphonFilter wrote:

pensieve wrote:

btbnnyr wrote:

Yeah. Who's actually rofl in real life? Or lmao (and wouldn't it be so painful if you laughed your ass off that you'd be crying out in pain instead of laughing?). How do you even lmao?

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22 Nov 2011, 11:50 am

swbluto wrote:

b9 wrote:

i excogitate that the prevalence of annunciated sesquipedality is unsubstantial when juxtaposed with the prevalence of sesquipedalianism in transcriptive elucidations

Translation: I think big words are used more often in writing than in everyday talking.

Did I get it right???

yes you did.

i am now very preoccupied so good night.

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